Marijuana Side Effects

Posted on September 2, 2017 - 9:00 am

Prescription drug commercials are the best. They’re always filmed in subdued slow-motion with an ethereal, gauzy quality, kind of like a soap opera. There’re always plenty of pretty people frolicking around with toothy smiles. And there’s always a calming, hypnotic voice in the background listing off the side effects that come from traditional pharmaceuticals. I usually start laughing during this part of the commercial, but my family always looks at me like I’m a little daft; I guess they’ve become desensitized to the insanity on TV. But if you think about it, these commercials really are morbidly hilarious, so my laughter is perfectly apropos.

A few years back, there was a commercial for a drug designed to combat restless leg syndrome, and one of the side effects was “biting off your tongue.” I guess that in rare cases, this perfectly legal drug would cause people to have unexpected seizures wherein they’d bite of their own tongues. Isn’t that insane? Imagine for a moment some fool walking into a doctor’s office to pick up a script for his twitching legs just to end up biting off his tongue. Are you laughing? No? Well, maybe my family has a valid reason to look at me askance for my giggles, but that’s beside the point. What matters is that in modern times, you can turn on the television, stumble across a pleasant-seeming commercial, and listen to a calm, feminine voice tell you that you might “bite off your tongue” if you buy what she’s selling.

And it gets worse. Lately, since there are so many ways to die thanks to what you buy at the pharmacy, that calm voice has simplified things: more often than not, if you listen close enough, you’ll hear it say that one of the side effects is “death,” plain and simple. Hell, one of the side effects associated with most of the anti-depressants out there is “suicide,” but that doesn’t stop the commercials from playing right in the middle of my nightly news. It’s lunacy: you can buy pills that’ll kill you or make you bite off your tongue, but the innocuous plant we sell at The Greenery is still illegal in most of this hypocritical country—there’re are still people in places like Florida who’re serving life sentences for marijuana possession, while pharmaceutical reps are earning six-figure-salaries for selling pills that’ll make you kill yourself if you take them for depression. It’s asinine, because do you know what won’t kill you? Marijuana.

However, there are a few negative side effects associated with cannabis. Yes, I’m a budtender and a staff writer for a dispensary, but I’m not one of those stoners who’ll tell you that marijuana is a completely harmless drug, and it’s my job to be honest and educational in these posts. So, I’ve decided to list and discuss the three known negative side effects of marijuana—afterward, please feel free to juxtapose marijuana’s darker side against “biting off your tongue” or “death” to see if you’d still rather pop those pills. Here we go…

Xerostomia: it’s just a fancy way of saying dry-mouth. Yes, it’s true, sometimes smoking pot will give you cottonmouth. And if you let it persist, it can cause bad breath or gingiva (gum) irritation. But it’s easy to fix—just drink water or invest in some Biotene. And guess what: after drinking that water, you’ll still have your tongue, so I’d say we’re doing okay so far.
Paranoia or Anxiety: these two feelings are usually associated with Sativa strains, but if you smoke anything with a high THC percentage, you’re sure to start looking over your shoulder eventually. It happens to the best of us. But these feelings aren’t permanent—they go away as soon as the high starts to fade—and they aren’t nearly as bad as “death,” so we’re still in the clear.
Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome: this is a new one—the first official case was reported about nine years ago, and the syndrome wasn’t validated until 2009. Before I go on, I just want to tell you that I’ve been smoking for quite some time and I’ve known quite a few smokers; I talk to people every day who smoke weed because I’m a budtender, and I’ve never met anyone who suffers from this side effect. Basically, it’s possible to develop CHS after fifteen to twenty years’ worth of chronic marijuana use, and once you get it, your stomach gets upset every time you smoke pot. The nausea can be alleviated temporarily by a hot shower or bath, but the only permanent fix is to stop smoking marijuana (if you’ve been smoking chronically for twenty years, it might be time for a break anyway). And once you stop smoking, the symptoms of CHS go away immediately, and there isn’t any lasting damage.

And that’s it; I’d say we’re three-for-three regarding marijuana-related side effects that’re better than what you get from pharmaceuticals. Actually, I know for a fact that pot beats pills because I meet someone every day (quite literally) who comes into our dispensary looking to escape their prescriptions. These people have suffered for years under heavy doses of opioids or synthetic “medicine,” and they’re sick of it. They tell me how much their lives suck, or if they’ve already switched over to pot, they tell me how much better their lives have become. I get to help these people; it’s one of the best parts of my job. And with each and every one of them, I discuss the potential side effects of marijuana, just like I’ve done in this post, because it’s important to know what you’re getting in to. So, please, if you still have any questions or doubts about how pot might hurt you after reading this article, just call us at (970) 403-3710 or walk into our dispensary at 208 Parker Avenue and corner one of our budtenders. Ask us all your questions about marijuana’s side effects, and we’ll take the time to answer honestly. We’re Your Best Buds, and that’s what we do.

Best Bud of the Month

Posted on August 12, 2017 - 9:00 am

Budtender, Dispensary, Dispensary deals, budtender

Libby Lunda
Retail Floor Manager

Libby used to sit by a stream in Wisconsin to smoke with her friends. They’d buy quarter ounces for fifty bucks, and the stuff was just as horrid as you’d imagine: brown brick-weed that had just as many seeds and stems as it did flower. They’d load their bowls and winnow out the seeds, and then toss them in the river, watching them float away to somewhere unseen. Libby would imagine her seeds riding the rapids and then landing to sprout on an island—it was a magical garden of sorts, a place where marijuana was legal and accepted. But that place didn’t exist in Wisconsin, so when Libby grew up and had a child of her own, she moved her family to Durango, because if you think about it, this is where her seeds have come to grow; this place is the island she imagined. And now, Libby Lunda is your Best Bud of the month.

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Libby. “I just celebrated my two-year anniversary!”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Libby. “I love bongs, and Sour Diesel is the best strain of all time.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Libby. “Gardening and growing. I love to stand back when it’s all done and look at the aftermath. The work is worth it when you see what you’ve created.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Libby. “King is an XL Bully, and he’s a little shit. He’s a puppy trapped in a beast’s body.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Libby. “Top hits, or anything modern.”
(For the record, as one of Libby’s coworkers, I can tell you that when the door is shut at the end of the day, she puts on old-school rap and turns it up. Don’t be fooled by that “top hits” nonsense; Libby is a straight-up gangster.)

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Libby. “I love our customers. I love getting to know the regulars and helping the tourists who are just as excited about legal marijuana as I am.”

Libby is the sort of person who combats the budtender stereotype. She isn’t in this industry because she sees it as a novelty or because she’s some stoner who’s looking for an employee discount. She’s here because she knows this industry has a future, and she’s the type of young professional who plans on capitalizing on the unique opportunity that has sprouted downstream from Wisconsin. And she really does love her customers as much as she says. I’ve seen her perk up in the middle of a bad day just to dedicate all of her attention to someone who’s just looking for some relief. Libby is a compassionate budtender who cares genuinely for each and every one of The Greenery’s customers, and because of that, she is definitely your Best Bud of the month for August. Thank you Libby!

The Greenery Hits a Theme Song

Posted on August 5, 2017 - 9:00 am

The Greenery, dispensary deals, marijuana, pot shop

Darth Vader is cool only because he has theme music. Granted, the lightsaber helps a little bit, as does his freaky ability to choke fools from a distance, but if it wasn’t for the sonorous, tonal music that follows Vader wherever he goes, he’d be average at best. All the other aliens in that far, far away galaxy wouldn’t even notice when he walked in the room, despite his awkward breathing, and there’s no way he could pull off that goth cape without his theme song. It’s sad, but true.

That’s why I’ve always wanted theme music. Sometimes, when I’m especially high, my brain obliges. I’ll be walking from point “A” to point “B,” and something groovy will start playing in my head. My walk will morph into a strut, and I’ll start humming “Stayin’ Alive” by The Bee Gees. The world around me will slow down and start to sparkle, and I’ll bob my head to the rhythm. And if that were to ever happen in the real-world, I’d know that I’ve arrived, because anybody who’s anybody has theme music.

Think about it. When the President of the United States steps up to the podium, he’s accompanied by brazen fanfare—an entire orchestra announces his arrival with pomp and circumstance. When Stephan Colbert steps on stage, his audience knows it thanks to his Late Show theme song. Hell, a couple years ago at The Oscars, Tom Hanks got pissed-off because the band played the Forest Gump song when he walked on stage instead of the song from whatever movie he starred in that week; Tom Hanks is so famous he has multiple theme songs. That’s just crazy. But now, The Greenery is catching up to his level, because we have a theme song too—put that in your box of chocolates, Mr. Gump.

Dexter Davis is a student at Arkansas State, an artist who goes by ICEberg Slim, and he sent us his song a few weeks back. It’s called “The Greenery,” and really, it’s just a happy coincidence; the song has nothing in common with our dispensary save for its title, and Slim has never walked through our door. But theme songs don’t just fall from the sky every day, so for this blog, at least, we’re coopting Slim’s song as our own. And the song is alright. It sounds like the type of music Shaft would wake-and-bake to—warm and scratchy, vinyl straight from the turntable, it’s an old-school stoner jam.

Listen to it here, and then come in to tell us what you think. Feel free to walk through our door humming your own personal theme song, because your best buds won’t judge you. We know exactly what it’s like having a theme song, thanks to Dexter Davis, and just like Darth Vader, The Greenery has arrived.

Dexter Davis, Iceberg Slim, marijuana song — Dexter Davis, aka ICEberg Slim, at a recent performance.

Indica vs. Sativa

Posted on July 22, 2017 - 9:00 am

There’re over four-thousand different strains of marijuana growing across the globe, sprouting like the wondrous weeds they are, but each of them falls into one of two categories: Indica or Sativa. Of course, most strains have been crossbred so many times that it’s difficult to tell which is which, and just about everything out there is a hybrid thanks to the incestuous way plants get together and make more plants—after decades of desultory pollination, there’s no longer a definite line in the sand between the two categories, and that can make things difficult when you’re chasing the effects that come from one side or the other.

But at The Greenery, we’re here to help. We know the lineage of each strain we sell and we’ve smoked all of them. We can tell you which bud will make you sleepy, which bud will perk you up, just like that Cheshire cat could tell Alice which side would make her bigger, which side would make her small. But before we get into specific strains, we should discuss the two, overarching categories so you have a jumping off place; we’ll start with Sativa.

You probably drew a Sativa leaf on your notebook back in high school. Yes, all pot leaves have the same number of fronds and they’re instantly recognizable thanks to the jagged edges, but Sativa leaves are a little different than their fatter Indica cousins. They’re light green and thin and they spread out perfectly to form the symbol we use for all marijuana. And the plant itself is special too. It can grow into a veritable tree, standing over two-stories high if you let it, but most varieties top-out at around ten feet.

Sativa is a day-time pot. The high is energetic and creative, and it’ll give you a bright haze that’s perfect for summer days, happy times. These cerebral strains live in your head and pollinate your thoughts with creativity, they make you giggle and go out, connect with what’s important. Sativa strains should remind you of tie-died T-shirts and road trips and the highlife we’ve been trying to recapture from the hippie days our parents reminisce about. And from a medical standpoint, these strains can battle back pain and headaches and depression, and for some, they can even act as an appetite suppressor, thereby destroying the “munchies” stereotype you see in cliché pot movies. However, I’d be lax if I didn’t tell you about Sativa’s darker side, so I’ll be honest about the possible negative side effects: with one puff too many, these strains are more likely to bring with them anxiety and paranoia. But you know what? Given that traditional pharmaceuticals and other recreational drugs (like booze) can kill you, I’d say a little anxiety is worth it (there’s no such thing as a pot writer who doesn’t toss in a caveat like that, so please forgive me).

Now, on to Indica—these varieties are famous for their dark green, broad leaves, and a musky scent. The plants themselves are short and squat, usually topping out at about six feet, and they’re originally from India and the Middle East (ergo, the name). Indica is a nighttime pot, perfect for good movies and comfortable blankets thanks to the body-high these strains bring with them. This strain should remind you of relaxed, fragrant evenings and smiling camels and that odd sitar music that makes sand dunes so exotic. Medicinally speaking, Indica strains can help with appetite stimulation and insomnia and anxiety relief. But one puff too many can put you down, and lethargy or insatiable munchies are the worst you can expect. It’s a cheesy one-liner, but all you need to remember is that “Indica will put you in-da-couch.” It’s the down to Sativa’s up, the mellow yin to Sativa’s energetic yang. And it’s wonderful.

Personally, before I started working in a dispensary, I used to think that Indica was the way to go, and that Sativa wasn’t for me. And now, I meet people who think the same way (or visa-versa) every day. They’ll come in and say something like “I hate Sativa because it makes me paranoid,” and they’ll ignore completely any of our Sativa-dominant hybrids. For the record, I don’t judge these people because my tastes used to run parallel to theirs. But now I’ve learned a few things, and I share them with as many customers as possible. At The Greenery, we always have at least ten, top-shelf strains available for purchase—five are Indica-dominant, and five are Sativa-dominant. You can see them here on our menu.

However, it’s the “dominant” in the description you need to pay attention to, because like I said, there’s really no such thing as a pure Indica or a pure Sativa anymore because just about everything out there has been mixed with everything else. But you know what? This is a good thing. Now, if you ask the right people (like us), you can find a perfect 50/50 hybrid that’ll give you both the head high that comes from Sativa and the body high that comes from Indica. If you come in and ask us, we can show you 70/30 strains that lean closer to the Sativa side of the spectrum—these can give you creativity and relaxation at the same time which can be sublimely mind-blowing. Or we can point you towards a 70/30 Indica-leaning strain that’ll bring with it deep body relaxation and a touch of the giggles. Isn’t that awesome?

Seriously, here at The Greenery, we can do that for you, and we won’t lead you astray as you bounce back and forth in the Indica vs. Sativa battle. Come in and tell us the specific high you’re looking for, and we’ll give you options. We’ll let you smell them and buy them at a fair price, and we’ll pay attention to your feedback. That’s how it should be, and that’s how it is with Your Best Buds.

Indica vs Sativa, Sativa vs Indica, Indica dominant, Platinum OG Bud, Platinum OG — The Greenery menu description for an Indica-dominant strain.

Best Bud of the Month

Posted on July 12, 2017 - 7:18 pm

Dispensary, Durango dispensary, the greenery, the greenery Durango, dispensary Durango, cbd oil, dispensaries in Durango Colorado, dispensaries in Durango co, Durango co dispensary, marijuana dispensary, dispensary Durango co

Melissa Nichols
Vendor & Community Relations Manager

Some Navy Seals can hold their breath for seven minutes; they go through all sorts of ninja training to get to that point. But at The Greenery, we have a budtender who can hold her breath for seventy-two seconds; she discovered her talent while playing dead-man games in Mexico because you’re never too old to mess with foreign lifeguards.

Melissa Nichols is simply awesome. She’s an open book who loves what she does, and we love having her here, but being our Community Relations Manager wasn’t her first job; Mel used to be a professional naked person. She posed in the nude for a sculpting class two hours per day, three times a week, for six weeks (if you do the math, that’s thirty-six hours’ worth of nudity in front of strangers). And I’m sure that if you looked long and hard enough, you’d probably be able to find a miniature, sculpted, naked Melissa at a local garage sale (we hereby promise a $1 pre-roll joint to anyone who brings one in). But here’s the rest of her story.

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Melissa. “I was the first budtender on the payroll, and I was behind the counter when Wally (our first customer) gave us the twenty-dollar bill that’s hanging in the back office.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Melissa. “I love water pipes, and Cheese is my all-time favorite strain.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Melissa. “I love snowboarding and hiking, but what I love most is connecting with the outdoors. I love taking time to myself outside and just breathing, looking at the life and nature around me, the bugs and plants, because it helps me connect with what’s important.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Melissa. “Mr. Mac is a black cat, and Prince Hal is a cat colored like a cow. He’s a Holstein cat. And Tigger is our yellow lab. We got him too late to do anything about his name.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Melissa. “alt-J radio, or any of the Tiny Desk Concerts on NPR; they’re just awesome.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Melissa. “People are happy when they come into our store, and I get to make them happier. And I don’t have to censor myself when I’m working here, so I absolutely love it.”

And that’s Melissa. She’s the type of person who’s more comfortable barefoot—I’ve seen her afterhours, walking around in her colorful socks, making small foot-fists on the foamy pads behind our sales counter, and that says a lot about a person. She isn’t afraid to be who she is, and even though you might not believe it, she really is just as nice as she comes across when she asks for your ID. Melissa is a genuine and open person, and she’s worked diligently over the past two and a half years to make The Greenery Durango’s best dispensary. And that, my friends, is why Melissa Nichols is you Best Bud of the Month.

Cheers! The Greenery, Budtender, Durango

Medicinal Marijuana

Posted on July 1, 2017 - 9:00 am

The Greenery is a recreational-only marijuana dispensary. However, we offer a twenty-percent discount to medical patients (so long as you can show us a valid Colorado MMJ card), and we do so for good reason: for many people, marijuana really is effective.

Frankly, most people buy pot to get high, and there’s nothing wrong with that. When they walk through our doors, they’re looking for THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol), plain and simple, because it’s the psychoactive compound in pot that can turn any frown upside-down. However, THC is just one of the cannabinoids found in flower—there’re least one-hundred and thirteen of them of them in marijuana—and as the THC percentage increases, the amount of the others decreases. The proverbial “they” still don’t know what most of the other cannabinoids do, but I’m sure it’s only good things, and if you shop only for a high THC percentage, you might be missing out on a few other benefits. Specifically, the higher the THC level climbs, the lower the CBD (Cannabidiol) and CBN (Cannabinol) levels fall. If you’re a medical marijuana patient, or if you’ve always wanted to try pot to see if it helps you, this is something you need to know.

CBD isn’t psychoactive (it won’t get you high), so most people don’t pay too much attention to it. However, the stuff is wonderful. It’s been called the compound that gives you “relaxation without intoxication,” and it brings with it a whole smattering of additional properties. I’ve read studies that show CBD may combat everything from PTSD to epileptic seizures, and from personal experience, I attest to CBD’s ability to fight my insomnia. Here at The Greenery, we always have a high CBD strain on the shelves, and our friendly budtenders can show you a wide variety of CBD-infused edibles or topicals if you’d rather not smoke flower to try CBD.

CBN won’t get you high either, but it looks to be just as promising as CBD. According to Steep Hill, “The consumption of 2.5mg to 5mg of CBN has the same level of sedation as a mild pharmaceutical sedative, with a relaxed body sensation similar to 5mg to 10mg of diazepam.” Isn’t that crazy? CBN is a non-psychoactive plant derivative with no known side effects, and it’s twice as effective as a nasty, old-school pharmaceutical. Secondly, you can buy CBN tablets from The Greenery for a fraction of the price you’d pay for an artificial chemical at the pharmacy. CBN has been shown to do all sorts of things, and if you’re looking for some alternative options, this compound is a great place to start.

Look, I know it’s possible that I just created for you more questions than I answered, and the breadth of alternative cannabis is far too wide to address a laconic post like this one. There’re plenty of online resources out there you can use to answer CBD and CBN related questions, but The Greenery is right here in Durango, and personally, I like talking to people instead of Google. So, come in and see your best buds. Ask us your questions about CBD and CBN, and we’ll show you all the available options, because that’s why we’re here. And as always, please remember that we cannot provide medical advice and recommend you consult with your healthcare provider before introducing any marijuana products into your regimen.

Lucky turtle, restore tincture, medical marijuana, marijuana tincture marijuana salve, medical marijuana, cannabis salve, weed salve, The Greenery, Durango, CO

Discretion

Posted on May 20, 2017 - 3:12 pm

The Greenery checks age requirements in Colorado

Marijuana is perfectly legal for recreational use in Colorado, and frankly, it should be. Pot is a plant that grows out of the ground, and if you light it on fire and breathe in the smoke, it makes you feel good. For many, it’s a medicine—one that doesn’t bring with it the crippling side effects commonly associated with traditional pharmaceuticals—and medicine should be legal. It’s a simple truth, one that’s axiomatic to those of us who know the difference between right and wrong, and that’s why I support legalized marijuana; that’s why I’ve chosen to work in this industry.

However, I also understand that not everybody feels this way. Plenty of people still think that pot is a problem. They look at that plant and see a vice that needs to be eradicated, and they subscribe to the antiquated paradigm that kept marijuana illegal for decades. Some people fear change; that’s just the way it is. So, occasionally, discretion is necessary.

I’m one of the fortunate few who can be who I am both at work and in my personal life because my coworkers, friends, and family all have modern views regarding marijuana. In short, I don’t have to hide the fact that I smoke pot—hell, I’m pretty loud about it sometimes. But you might not have that luxury, and here at The Greenery, we understand, and we offer a level of discretion you won’t find at other dispensaries.

For one, we have a discreet location. We’re nestled in at 208 Parker Avenue, right behind Morehart Murphy. We’re close enough to be convenient, but far enough away to keep things comfortable. When you leave our shop, you won’t have to run that downtown gamut where it seems like you recognize everyone around you on the street. You won’t have to walk down a long alley carrying a bag full of marijuana back to your car parked on Main; you won’t have to feed a meter. We’re open early and we close late, and you can come and go with a level of privacy not offered elsewhere. But that’s not the most important part: here at The Greenery, we don’t track your purchases.

I’ll admit that I shopped around at other dispensaries before I worked at The Greenery. I was a creature of habit, and I didn’t stray far from my home when I went shopping, be it for groceries or marijuana; I usually stayed on the north-side of town for convenience. And it didn’t really bother me that the other dispensaries tracked my purchases (you know, because I’m “loud about it”), but in retrospect, the practice is a little sketchy.

I’m sure you’ve noticed it. Most dispensaries will swipe your ID when you walk in to make sure you’re twenty-one. One place even has a metal turnstile that opens only after you’ve swiped your card, in case you’ve ever wondered what it’d be like to get carded by a robot. But guess what: every time your ID is swiped, the machine keeps a record of your visit. So here at the Greenery, we take the time to read your ID by hand. Granted, it might take us a little longer because we have to check diligently your picture and your birthdate and your card’s expiration date, but that’s something we do for you because it’s your business if you buy marijuana, and nobody else’s.

Secondly, we don’t track your purchases at the register. True, we have a loyalty program—an awesome one that I’ll tell you about in a different post—but we use punch cards instead of an electronic system. There’re other dispensaries here in Durango that keep track of every single purchase you make, and they do so via a computer database that’s just as vulnerable to hacking as all the other systems in this inescapable digital age. With the click of a mouse, anyone who cares to look can find a record of all the marijuana you’ve purchased, and considering the fact that federal laws haven’t yet caught up to our local ones, some people prefer the discretion offered here at The Durango Greenery.

So, come see us, your best buds. Come find a place in our parking lot and walk through our front door. Someone will check your ID with a smile and then give it back without recording your visit. We’ll sell so you some ridiculously good pot, and then you can go on your way, legally, rightfully, and discreetly. Cheers.

We’re Your Best Buds!

New Extended Hours

Posted on August 30, 2016 - 11:18 am

Starting September 1, 2016, The Greenery in Durango, Colorado will be open for an extra 2 hours on most days!

The Durango City Council recently voted to allow all marijuana dispensaries to stay open past the original 8:00pm cutoff time.

Colorado law currently allows marijuana dispensaries to stay open until 12:00am, but the Councilors have compromised on 10:00pm, due to safety concerns. (http://www.durangoherald.com/article/20160719/NEWS01/160719556/-1/taxonomy/Extension-of-marijuana-shop-hours-clears-first-City-Council-hurdle)

Below are the new operating hours for The Greenery:

Monday: 9am – 9:50 pm

Tuesday: 9am – 7:50 pm

Wednesday: 9am – 7:50 pm

Thursday: 9am – 9:50 pm

Friday: 9am – 9:50 pm

Saturday: 10am – 9:50 pm

Sunday: 10am – 7:00 pm

The Greenery is located at 208 Parker Ave, Suite E, Durango, CO 81303

Got questions? You can reach your Best Buds at (970) 403-3710 or info@durangogreenery.com