weed store Archives | The Grand Junction Greenery

Dispensary FAQs

Posted on August 11, 2018 - 9:00 am

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As a budtender, I’ve heard them all: Is marijuana instantly addictive? Will this stuff make me see flying animals? Would you please mail some of that marijuana sex spray to me here in South Africa? For real, I’ve answered all these questions, and I tried my best to do so with a straight face. And somewhere along the line, it made me realize that I’m a professional question answerer—all day every day, I field questions from people who are trying to learn about this industry, so this week, I figured I’d answer a few of the most commonly asked questions preemptively. Here we go…

1.) What’s the difference between Indica and Sativa?

Well, I wrote an entire blog about it that you can read HERE, but basically, the Indica strains are famous for relaxation, and the Sativa strains are known for stimulation. The indicas evolved in India (thus the name), and the plants are short and bushy, as where the sativas (that originated in Africa) are tall with thin fronds. Just remember “indica, in-da-couch,” and “viva Sativa!”

2.) What’s your most potent edible?

On the recreational side of things in Colorado, edibles are capped at 100mg THC per package, and 10mg THC per serving, so they’re all equally potent. However, we do sell a few edibles that come in 5mg servings for people with a lower tolerance.

3.) How much am I allowed to buy?

Each adult can buy one ounce of flower, or 800mg worth of edibles, or 8g of concentrates. And yes, there is an equivalency chart to follow. Basically, you’re allowed to purchase eight eighths, and one eighth is equal to one gram of concentrate or a 100mg edible. So, hypothetically, you could buy four eighths, two grams of concentrate, and two 100mg edibles, and that would be your maximum.

4.) Do you sell any CBD-only products?

Nope. Those are available online, but they’re derived from hemp, and everything we sell is derived from cannabis (they’re completely different animals). However, we do sell a few products that are “mostly” CBD, such as our Lucky Turtle Tincture that contains 500mg CBD and only 10mg THC: each serving will give you roughly 14mg CBD and 0.25mg THC, which isn’t enough to get you “high.” Just so you know, the proverbial “they” have figured out that CBD can be more effective if it’s accompanied by a little THC thanks to the “entourage effect,” and I wrote an entire blog you can read HERE if you’d like to learn more.

5.) Do you have anything on sale?

Almost always! We have rotating deals throughout the week (for instance, I’m writing this on a Wednesday, and today, all our concentrates are 15% off). For a complete list of our daily deals, click HERE.

6.) I’m from out-of-state and I don’t have a medical card; can I still buy from you?

Yes. We’re a recreational-only dispensary (but we offer a 20% discount to customers who have a valid Colorado-issued medical card), and all you need to show us when you shop here is a valid, government-issued I.D. with a picture proving that you’re twenty-one or over.

7.) What’s the difference between a smokable and an edible high?

The stuff you smoke hits you almost instantly as where an edible can take up to two hours to hit you completely. The biggest mistake people make is eating more after twenty minutes or so because they aren’t feeling anything, and then boom, it all hits you. Please go slow and don’t do this: once you eat it, you cannot un-eat it, and an over-the-top edible experience is something you want to avoid. Trust me… Lastly, a smokable high lasts about an hour and a half, but an edible high can last for up to six hours, which is why caution is so important.

8.) Where can I smoke?

This is the tricky one. To consume any sort of marijuana, you must be on private property with the property owner’s permission. That’s what makes things tricky for tourists. However, plenty of the local hotels allow you to consume cannabis in designated areas—all you need to do is ask, and I promise they hear the question multiple times a day. And yes, I wrote an entire blog about this too, and you can read it HERE.

9.) Where are you located and what are your hours?

We’re at 208 Parker Avenue in Bodo Park right behind the GMC dealership. Simply call us if you need directions. We’re open from 9am to 9:30pm on weekdays, we’re open from 10am to 9:30pm on Saturdays, and from 10am to 7pm on Sundays. We’re closed on Christmas and New Year’s Day, and we have shortened hours on a few other holidays, but you can click HERE for a map and all sorts of other info.

10.) Is marijuana instantly addictive, will it make me see flying animals, and can you mail it to me here in Africa?

No…

That’s it! Of course, if I didn’t answer one of your questions, there’s nothing wrong with calling us to ask: (970) 403-3710. And there’s definitely nothing wrong with coming into our Durango dispensary to ask us in person because we’re all professional question-answerers, and We’re Your Best Buds!

CBD in Durango

Posted on June 30, 2018 - 9:00 am

CBD stands for “Cannabidiol.” I wanted to say that right off the bat because most people think “CBD” is an acronym that stands for something (like “cannabis, because duh”), but it’s not—it’s simply an abbreviation, just like “THC,” which stands for “tetrahydrocannabinol.”

But what CBD does is more important than what it means: Cannabidiol is a non-psychoactive cannabinoid (meaning it doesn’t get you high) that may help people with anxiety, inflammation, or pain management. This is the stuff that puts the “medicine” in “medicinal marijuana,” and it’s becoming quite popular. In fact, the FDA just approved the first-ever marijuana-derived CBD pharmaceutical to treat epilepsy (read the article HERE), Walmart is selling CBD products derived from hemp, and one of our local pet shops is even selling CBD-infused dog treats, which should tell you something about this compound’s popularity and efficacy. However, since you’re reading this, you probably aren’t a dog, so I’ll focus on what CBD can do for humans instead of for pets.

In short, CBD is awesome. I’ve had a few people come in to ask, “does CBD cure cancer?” because they’ve heard rumors. I wish this were true (we’d be a lot busier if it were), but unfortunately, CBD hasn’t been studied enough to prove what it can or cannot do. So, for now, I can only tell you what CBD “may” do:

• If you’re an anxious person who clams up when life comes flying your way, CBD may take the edge off. In fact, we have a slew of customers who buy CBD products to combat their PTSD, and they swear by the calming effects of this popular cannabinoid.

• Personally, I feel like I’ve taken a handful of ibuprofen after a dose of CBD. This stuff beats the pain down for me, and it does so without the side effects that make pills so infamous.

• Other than that, CBD is renowned for its possible anti-inflammation abilities. Swelling, redness, discomfort: CBD is something to experiment with if you suffer from any of these maladies.

Alright… that covers what CBD might do for you, so now we need to talk about how to use CBD, and it’d be easiest to list a few of our bestselling CBD products and let you decide which one might be best:

1.) Incredible Power: There are quite a few CBD-dominant strains of flower out there, but most people come in asking for Charlotte’s Web because it’s the most famous. However, I’d argue that Incredible Power is better because it contains around 12% THC and 15% CBD, as where Charlotte’s Web is lower in both categories. This flower is a slightly indica-leaning hybrid, so it’s doubly relaxing, and it’s definitely a shop-favorite.

2.) Chroma CBD Distillate by Evolab. If smoking flower is a bit too harsh, I’d suggest this cartridge for a vape option. Frankly, Evolab makes the best vape oils known to man. These cartridges fit on any universal 510-threaded battery, and the 500mg of oil contained in each one comes in at 56% CBD and about 17% THC. If you’re looking for the highest concentration of CBD in a high-quality vape product, there’s nothing better than the Chroma CBD cartridge.

3.) CBD Therapy Pucks by Highly Edible: If you’re not a smoker, there are plenty of edible CBD options out there, and this product is a perfect place to start. These gummy pucks come in peach or golden strawberry, and each serving contains 20mg CBD and 2mg THC, so this product will provide the relief of CBD without the high of THC.

4.) Ripple Relief: If you’re not a smoker and you don’t like the calories that come from edibles, there’s still an option for you. Ripple is an odorless, tasteless, instantly-dissolvable powder that can be added to any drink (or spaghetti sauce, for that matter) to turn it into a CBD-infused edible. Each serving contains 10mg CBD and 0.5mg THC so this won’t get you high either, but the best part is that drinks usually take effect sooner than other edibles, so Ripple can deliver relief much sooner than other products.

5.) Mary Jane’s Salve: If you don’t want to smoke or eat anything, but you still want to try CBD, this topical is our bestselling option for you. Topical salves are favorites among people who suffer from arthritis, muscle pain, or severe dry skin. And if you’ve never tried cannabis-infused salves, we have a 2oz trial size that’s perfect for first-timers; it contains 60mg THC (but it still won’t get you high) and 20mg CBD per jar.

Of course, we have about seventeen-billion other CBD-infused options available for sale in our Durango dispensary (including quite a few that have a perfect 1:1 balance between CBD and THC) and this list barely scratches the surface, so if you’d like more options, check out our menu HERE.

And yes, as one last note, you can in fact purchase CBD products online, but they’re derived from hemp rather than cannabis, so they don’t contain any THC (which is why you can buy these products online). This might sound like a good thing to those of you who are looking for CBD’s relief without THC’s buzz, but it isn’t because of one thing: the “entourage effect.”

It’d take a blog of its own to tell you all about the entourage effect, but in short, they (scientists) have found that CBD is most effective when combined with other cannabinoids such as THC because the compounds work together synergistically to provide a better effect. So, even if you’ve tried the hemp-version of CBD that provides CBD all by itself, you might have better luck with a product that provides both CBD and THC, even if the THC percentage is minimal like it is in the five products I listed above.

So please, if you’re over twenty-one with a valid form of identification (a driver’s license is peachy) and you’re looking for a little CBD relief, come see Your Best Buds at 208 Parker Avenue in Durango, Colorado, and we’ll tell you and show you everything you need to know about CBD!

How to Identify Quality Marijuana

Posted on June 9, 2018 - 9:00 am

Part of me wants to say, “go to The Greenery and look at our marijuana because that’s what quality looks like,” but I’m not going to do that to you. I’ve been writing these blogs long enough to assume that I’ve built up a bit of ethos with at least one of you, and I don’t want to lose your trust. So, this week, I’m going to teach you how to tell the good from the bad when it comes to all the green stuff that’s on the market.

I see it every day: someone new will walk into our shop and look down at the twelve strains we have on display, and they’ll have no clue where to start. But can you blame them? Some of our strains are purple, some have white crystals and orange hairs. Some strains are neon green and some are dark as moss. How’s a newbie supposed to figure out what’s what? There are well over four-thousand named strains of marijuana and they all look different—if I didn’t work with weed all day every day, I probably wouldn’t know where to start either. So, when a new customer looks up from our display and asks, “um, how do I tell which one is good?”, I tell them these things:

1.) Look at the pot.

I know that sounds stupid, but it isn’t as easy as you’d think to tell whether flower is “quality” just by looking at it. We all know what good food looks like because food has been legal forever, but pot hasn’t, so for that first-time shopper, all the visual differences can be difficult to judge. So, one of the first things to look for is density, and that’s what I tell our customers. Pick up one of our display jars and shake it a bit. If the pot rattles around like a little rock, it’s dense, which is good because it means the flower is highly resinous, and that it was grown and cured properly. If the pot feels light like a ball of grass, it’s “larfy.”

For the record, I’ll admit freely that most of the words we use to describe cannabis are ridiculous, and they’re usually lazy versions of real words. For example, the word “larfy” means “leafy,” and it’s the term used in the marijuana industry use to describe fluffy pot, which usually isn’t as good as the dense stuff. And the “usually” matters, because sometimes, a fluffy strain (like the 30% THC King Kong we’re selling right now) will come along that’s better than a lot of the dense stuff.

Secondly, look for crystals. Technically, the crystals are dehydrated trichomes (the resinous glands that grow out of a plant’s epidermis), but all you really need to know is that crystal-covered flower is usually awesome because plants that produce a ton of crystals are usually potent and flavorful, and that’s always a good thing.

Third, check the bud structure. Round or conical buds are usually the best because the shape suggests the plants were grown properly. For instance, if you see long spindles of bud shooting off here and there (these are called “foxtails”), it could mean that the plant was grown with too much heat, which will affect the taste and cannabinoid content. But again, the “usually” matters, because there are a few awesome strains out there (like Casey Jones) that grow foxtails no matter how they’re cultivated.

2.) Smell the pot.

Again, it’s not nearly as easy as it sounds. Just like a fine wine, good pot will have a distinct “nose,” and even though it sounds snobby, we use that word in our industry too. But it’s tricky to pick out pot by its smell. You wouldn’t think it, but some of the best strains smell bad. The UK Cheese we sell in our shop from time to time smells like a mild cheddar, but the taste is creamy and the high is spectacular. We sell a Sour Diesel strain that smells like a gas station, but the high is energetic and blissful. And we sell a Chem Dog strain that smells like bleached linoleum, but again, the high is perfect.

My point here is that you need to reevaluate what you consider to be a “good” smell and start sniffing for specifics. After all, a flower’s smell is determined by its terpene content, and different terpenes do different things. For example, if you come into our shop, smell one of our display jars, and encounter a musky, skunk-like smell, the strain you’re sniffing most likely contains a high concentration of B-Myrcene, which is a terpene that’s thought to provide relaxation and pain-management possibilities.

And you can do this proactively: if you’re looking for an uplifting strain, avoid the skunk smells and sniff around for something that smells like pine or lemons—these smells come from the terpenes Pinene and d-Limonene respectively, and they’re famous for day-crushing energy and creativity.

3.) Lastly, ask questions.

There are a few other visual cues and at least ten more terpenes that really matter, so come in and ask one of our budtenders to explain what you’re looking at and smelling. Tell them the type of high you’re looking for and your quality/price range, and our budtenders will point you in the right direction, because I promise they’ve looked at and sniffed more pot than most of us could ever hope to. And the iPads we use to ring you up when you shop at The Greenery double as computers; we’ll always take the time to look up answers to your questions if we don’t know them readily.

So, if you’re over twenty-one with a valid I.D., come to The Greenery at 208 Parker Avenue. We’ll show you our quality marijuana, and we’ll take the time to explain the differences, because We’re Your Best Buds!

March’s Best Bud of the Month

Posted on March 17, 2018 - 9:00 am

Sloane Burdick
Manufacturing Lead (Supreme Commander of Hash)

About your Best Bud:

Sloane is the funny one. Or maybe Sloane is the artsy one, or the wild one, the fun one. Or maybe Sloane is the cool one, the one who’s real, albeit a little unfettered. Or maybe Sloane can’t really be classified as “this” or “that” one, like most people walking the streets. Know what I mean?

Picture all your friends standing in a field. Now pick out “the dumb one.” How long did that take you? A millisecond? It was easy for you because people like to pigeonhole other people. That’s what we do; we’re natural-born categorizers.

But Sloane doesn’t really fit into any of those pigeonholes. She takes up four or five of them with her complexity, with the depth of her personality, and to interview her was a delight:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Sloane. “November of 2015.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Sloane. “I love Strawberry Cough in the bong. I love the glass and the cold water, and the way it makes the smoke cleaner.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Sloane. “Taking pictures when I’m in my car or when I’m hiking. Or riding my cruiser ‘Pinkie Tuscadero.’ You know, like the character from Happy Days. It’s got hot-pink wheels and grips.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Sloane. “I have an evil kitty named Betty Beans, aka ‘B.B. McFuzz Pants,’ because who doesn’t give their animals multiple names?”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Sloane. “We use YouTube for music. And really, I should be honest: mostly, I listen to Sturgill Simpson. It’s a problem.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Sloane. “I love normalizing the world of cannabis. I’m a single mom in my forties, and I make hash for a living. I’m making this life normal, just as it should be.”

These interviews always get awkward right at the end. It’s important to include a story about the interviewee, something anecdotal that’ll help you get to know a team member here at The Greenery. But it’s a difficult question to answer when you’re on the spot:

Q. Would you share with us a story that’ll forever immortalize you on the internet? Something interesting that’ll pretty much define you as a human being? Something that’ll be read by all your coworkers and friends and the government, because you know they’re watching, right?
Sloane. “Um… there are lots of stories,” her laugh sounded like experience, “but one time, the school bus stopped to pick me up when I was almost forty. I told the guy I was on my way to work, but he thought I was a teen. He drove away, and I could see all the kids through their windows. They were laughing and watching me as their heads turned while the bus drove away.”

Most of us know for a fact that the school-bus story doesn’t define Sloane (there’re much better ones, like the one with the Scottish people or the one that ends with a lot of laughs, like most of them do), but the fact she chose this particular story says a lot. It’s a slice, a little snippet of Sloane’s hilarity that says something about her rather than about what happened to her, and that’s just cool.

***

To the people who don’t work in this Durango dispensary, Sloane is the woman who makes Moroccan Hash for The Greenery Hash Factory, along with a whole slue of other exotic concentrates. But to us, she’s part of this company, part of it’s soul, and even though Sloane doesn’t fit into a pigeonhole, she fits in here. And that’s why Sloane Burdick is your Durango dispensary Best Bud of the Month for March; congratulations Sloane!

Make sure to check out Sloane’s artwork HERE!

Rosin in Durango

Posted on February 24, 2018 - 9:00 am

There are two types of people in this world: people who love Bon Jovi, and people who pretend like they don’t. I’ve done research, and this fact is all-the-way true. And when you think about it, humans are split down the middle when it comes to just about everything—some people like going out, some people like staying in; some people prefer skis, some people prefer boards; some people like mustard, and some people have really bad taste. Know what I mean? And it’s no different when it comes to marijuana concentrates: people either smoke solventless concentrates like Rosin, or people smoke solvent-extracted concentrates, like wax or shatter.

According to Webster’s New World College Dictionary, the definition for “solvent” is “a thing that dissolves another thing” (I don’t own a dictionary). But when it comes to concentrate extraction in the cannabis industry, a solvent is usually a gas (like CO2 or butane) that’s pumped through a pressurized chamber to chemically strip the cannabinoids from flower. I know that sounds newfangled, but solvent-extracted concentrates have been around forever. If you soak marijuana in an alcohol bath, it’ll strip all the stuff that gets you high from the flower, and then if you let the alcohol evaporate, it’ll leave behind a wonderful gooey mess that you can smoke. This extract is a solvent-extracted concentrate because alcohol is a “thing that dissolves another thing.” Get it? I overheard my parents talking about this thirty years ago, and the practice is still going strong today, because alcohol-extracted THC is used to make plenty of the marijuana edibles on the market, like the Mountain High Suckers we sell in our shop.

But when it comes to one side or the other, I prefer solventless concentrates because they’ve been around much longer. These are the ones that are made the way they’ve always been made, and I’m talking about eons. I’m talking about the Berbers in Morocco who’ve been making hash for generations; I’m talking about the Lebanese tribes that’ve been pressing kief into blonde bricks throughout recorded history. I know it’ll sound pompous, but I like hashes with a story, and at The Greenery, that’s our specialty.

If you’re under thirty, don’t freak out—at The Greenery, we sell all the modern concentrates like wax and distillate, and I’m pretty sure we’re the only dispensary in town selling crystalline (which I’ll tell you about next week), so we have you hipsters covered. But I’m telling you, solventless concentrates are sublime. They have a flavor that evokes all sorts of tranquil thoughts (the kind that pair well with deep couches and maudlin music), and they’re nearly as potent as their solvent-extracted cousins. We have some Chemmy Jones Moroccan Hash in our arsenal right now that packs a 70% THC punch, and we’ve pressed some Rosin that broke the 90% barrier. I put some of the latter in my Cloud Mini and smoked it right before writing this, in case you can’t tell, and it made me realize that I’ve never told you about our Rosin, which is a travesty. So, here you go:

Rosin is made with nothing more than heat and pressure. Usually, flower is pressed pneumatically between two heated metal plates. The heat gets the cannabis oil flowing, and the pressure squeezes it out onto some parchment. Once the goo cools, it’s called “rosin” because it looks like the rosin violinists rub on their horsehair violin strings. If you were paying attention, you just learned two things. Sorry. Off track.

But at The Greenery Hash Factory, we do things a little differently. Instead of pressing flower, we press kief, which is all the dry-sieved trichomes that live on the flower’s surface. This stuff is potent and flavorful, and I’m pretty sure it’s the stuff Tinkerbelle kept in her bag. When we press kief to make our Dry-Sift Rosin, the goo that comes out looks decadent. It’s dark. When you smoke it, the taste is floral and deep, like the soil we use to grow our flower. It’s best in small doses, like the one that brought me here, and it’s flawless for the times when you need a little inspiration. Rosin is perfect for dabbing in Durango because it’s inline with our natural, earth-loving culture, and if you haven’t tried it, you should come see us. We’ll help you go down in a blaze of glory (we just came full-circle) with some of the most potent Rosin in town, because We’re Your Best Buds!

Stoners and Stigmas

Posted on February 3, 2018 - 9:00 am

I recently met a man in our dispensary who builds skyscrapers in Cincinnati. He started small, of course, building his business out of the back of his truck, but after a few decades of work, real work, he found freedom. He landed the type of life that allows him to fly to Durango on his private jet—a G6, like the one Pitbull raps about—to spend the weekend here just for the hell of it, buying a fistful of tickets for his friends so they could all ride that railroad of ours on a whim. And this man was carefree. He asked me if cameras were allowed (of course they are!), and then he asked his wife to take his picture. She shook her head slowly with disappointment, the way wives do, and she asked the man what would happen if his employees saw the picture, or worse yet, his mother. His answer sticks with me:

“This is how I party, and there’s nothing wrong with marijuana. I’ve worked hard my whole life to stand here holding this pot, and anybody who has a problem with it can go fill in the blank.”

Such a statement sounds inelegant at first, but really, it’s a beautiful declaration of honesty and freedom. So, the man’s wife smiled in that long-suffering way that only comes from love, and then she took his picture. The man shook my hand, put thirty dollars in our tip cup, and then walked out with his bag of weed in one hand, his wife’s bejeweled fingers in the other.

And even more recently, I met four men in our dispensary who flew here together on their private jet from Houston. They were tall and gracile in their leather boots, laughing and slapping backs, and they looked like they came from old money, the kind that’s black and bubbled up in their grandparents’ backyard. The four men flew in for the snow, but when they couldn’t find any, they decided to get high instead. They walked into our dispensary and saw something kindred in me, I guess, because each man made sure to shake my hand and get my name. I sold them edibles and vape pens and a whole panoply of pot products, and I threw in a couple koozies for fun, thinking men from Texas might find them especially useful.

I went to the bar later than night with my wife and a few friends on one of those random trips out, and as soon as I walked into The Ranch, I heard a loud chorus of “Jesse!!!” from the back of the bar. Those four guys from Texas were standing around the pool table, holding up beers wrapped snuggly in koozies that said, “The Greenery.” I introduced them to my wife (she shook her head slowly at my new friends, the way wives do), and we played pool for a while, right before they jumped back on their jet for another trip to find skiable snow.

Look, I know I’m rambling, but the picture I’m painting for you here proves that “stoners” aren’t always what you’d expect. Yes, wooks exist and their hippie magic is frightful, but for the most part, people who smoke pot are just like people who don’t smoke pot. I kid you not, I’ve sold to priests and teachers and surgeons and diplomats, and if not for the fact that each of them stood in front of me and bought marijuana, it wouldn’t have been possible to tell they were stoners, as if being one were a bad thing in the first place.

So why is the term “stoner” still a negative thing? Is it thanks to the stigma the bad guys birthed to justify their righteously unjust war on drugs? Probably.

Don’t worry, I’m not gunna get all preachy and complain about the fallacy of prohibition, but I do want to address the anti-pot stigma that seems to be sticking around like a virulent flu. I think this might be the seventh time I’ve put it in writing, but marijuana is medicine, and if not for that pesky stigma, this medicine could help more people. From the sweet old lady with tired hands who could find reprieve from her arthritis with a cannabis salve, but doesn’t, to the stage-four cancer patient who could find relief with marijuana, but never does: there are plenty of people out there denying themselves something legal and effective simply because of the stigma. Doesn’t that suck?

And that same stigma stops some people from getting high recreationally too, you know, for no other reason than to feel abnormally good, and that’s a travesty too. Because guess what? Pot is awesome. It makes good days better, and it doesn’t come with a hangover. Most of us at The Greenery smoke the stuff loud and proud because we have more pressing matters to worry about than stigmas, but that’s a luxury. Not everybody lives in a place like this or has a job like this, and that stigma is heavier for them.

But I want you to know that we’re trying to fix that. There are real life badasses who toil here behind the scenes. They stay in the backrooms of our dispensary and they write letters and lobby law makers, and they do their damnedest to defeat that annoying “stoner” stigma we’ve been living with for years. I’m not making that up, even though it sounds a little cryptic; we even have a consulting service that helps people in other states figure out the legal weed game. Cool, right?

So, don’t worry. There’s no stigma in our shop. We won’t judge you for a damn thing when you walk in, even if you’ve been putting off your first experience with cannabis for seventy years (which is something I heard from a customer just last week). Our people are professional and forthright, and we do our best to break the “stoner” stereotype daily with our service, because We’re Your Best Buds!

Marijuana Inhaler

Posted on January 27, 2018 - 9:00 am

Did you know that they make marijuana-infused nasal spray? Actually, sometimes I wonder who “they” are. You know, like are “they” a clandestine group of super-geniuses sitting somewhere subterranean, inventing things the way you and I write grocery lists? I don’t know, but “they” come up with all sorts of cool stuff, like pot nasal spray. For the record, cannabinoid nasal spray is a medicinal product—it’s used to administer cannabis to people who’re suffering through a seizure, and it stops the twitching like magic, proving once more that marijuana is medicine—and we don’t sell it at The Greenery, but we do sell something else that “they” came up with:

The Aero Inhaler by Quest Aerosols

For real, this thing works exactly like an asthma rescue inhaler (and don’t act like you haven’t tried one because we all have, probably at summer camp), but it gets you high. Can’t you just picture one of those super-geniuses sitting in his cave, probably petting a fluffy cat, smiling smugly because he invented an inhaler that gets you high? Anyway, I got to try one of these inhalers over the weekend, and it dawned on me that I’d never written a bona fide product review for our blog, and I figured that right now would be a perfect time to start. And no, I’m not going to say only nice things about this product simply because we sell it at The Greenery; I promise to list all the pros and cons impartially because you deserve as much. Here we go:

Pros:

The Aero Inhaler is the most discrete inhalable marijuana product on the market. That title once belonged to vape pens, but they emit a vapor, and the Aero Inhaler does not. Nearly nothing comes out when you exhale, and the marijuana odor you’d expect is next to nonexistent.
Can you believe that “they” packed one-thousand milligrams of concentrate into those little bottles? Each puff delivers ten milligrams, and the range for the inhalers I’ve seen hovers between sixty and eighty percent. Potency isn’t an issue with this product, and you get plenty of it in each package.
Inhalers that get you high are cool.
These things are completely self-contained and portable. You don’t need a lighter or a battery that might be charged, and you don’t need to worry about squishing that brownie in your pocket. The Aero Inhaler is waterproof, reliable, and relatively idiot-proof, which leads into the cons…

Cons:

You shouldn’t leave one of these things in your Jeep overnight when the temperature drops below zero because you’ll feel like a dumbass in the morning when you notice that a little bit of the concentrate leaked out, getting all over the warning on the bottle that clearly says, “store at room temperature.” I do dumb things sometimes.
I didn’t know what to expect the first time I used this product (but you don’t need to worry about that because you’re reading this). You need to point the mouthpiece directly at the back of your throat as you inhale, because if you miss and spray your tongue, it’ll taste like you gargled a pot smoothie (which for some people, would make this a pro instead of a con).
This is another first-time thing, but I didn’t know exactly how high I was gunna get. Marijuana roulette is never a fun game to play, but again, you don’t need to worry about that because you’re still reading. As a caveat, everyone will experience this product differently, but I’d say that one puff from the Aero Inhaler is equivalent in effect to one puff from a pure CO2 vape pen, or a couple stout hits from the bong, if pens aren’t your thing.

And that’s it! I suppose I should come up with some sort of rating system, like “I give the Aero Inhaler four-out-of-five Best Buds,” but I’ll spare you the banality. This product works, it’s a relatively inexpensive way to get one-thousand milligrams of concentrate, and it’s worthy of our shelves at The Greenery (trust me, everything we sell is thoroughly vetted, which is just as fun as it sounds). Anyway, I promise to keep giving you little reviews like this one so you can stay up-to-date, and at The Greenery, we promise to stay on the cutting edge of this industry by always bringing what “they” come up with next to Durango. You know, because “We’re Your Best Buds!”

December’s Best Bud of the Month

Posted on December 16, 2017 - 9:00 am

Chris “they call me Chitty” Chitwood
Manufacturing Facility Manager

About your Best Bud:

Chitty is the coolest person to ever come out of Arkansas. Seriously. From the narwhal tattoo on his calf to the astronaut helmet he wore at our last company party, Chitty is as rad as they come. And he’s the only person alive who can come across as professional in purple pants; that’s exactly what he did during this interview. But he can be serious too, because that’s what it takes to end up where Chitty has landed: in two years’ time, he has climbed from budtender to grow assistant to Manufacturing Facility Manager, and at twenty-four years’ of age, he’s now the man responsible for running The Greenery Hash Factory. If you’ve ever enjoyed any of the Moroccan Hash, Bubble Hash, Kief Brick, Rosin, or Caviar we sell in our dispensary, you did so thanks to Chitty’s hard work. And this month, we thought you should meet him:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Chris. “September of 2015.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Chris. “I love our Kief Brick. It’s got all the flavors and terpenes from the original flower because it’s as close to unadulterated as it gets when it comes to concentrates, and it makes a perfect bowl-topper because it kicks you hard. It’ll also make a bowl usually big enough for only three people big enough for six, and that’s awesome.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Chris. “I love skiing in the winter and I’m trying to get into snowshoeing, but I need some snow first. And I love rock climbing in the summer. I’m all about that dirt-bag life.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Chris. “I have no pets at the moment, unfortunately.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Chris. “I love crunchy jams and serious funk. Word.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Chris. “I love the people, because we all get along and communicate. And I love the job itself, because it’s chill but challenging.”

The simple fact is that Chris Chitwood will be with The Greenery for quite some time because he’s one of the lucky young professionals who found his niche early in life right here in the marijuana industry. He’s a pleasure to work with because he doles out high-fives generously, and his easy-going manner makes the day fly by (not to mention that he brings value to this company by consistently pumping out the best hash this side of Amsterdam). Mr. Chitwood, we’re in your debt, and because of that, you’re December’s Best Bud!

Marijuana Gift Baskets

Posted on November 25, 2017 - 9:00 am

Durango dispensary, Durango dispensaries, durango marijuana, marijuana gifts, durango, the greenery

I have the same first name as my brother-in-law. I’ve known him for most of my life—we grew up together in a rather remote part of Alaska, friends long before we became family—and we’ve always shared that strange rivalry that lives between two people with the same first name. He calls me “#2,” in a spot-on Dr. Evil voice, and I call him a whole litany of things that’re much worse. And in another odd little twist of coincidence, we’re both in the marijuana industry: my brother-in-law is a hipster who grows medical marijuana legally in the forests of California (wrongly thinking that his pot is the best), and I sell the stuff just as legally here in Colorado, when I’m not sitting behind this keyboard writing about it.

However, I don’t see my brother-in-law that often because his job isn’t as easy as it sounds, and I’m mired in the mountains of Colorado by all the stuff that makes me an adult. So, when we get together, it’s usually over the holidays. And when we give gifts, they’re usually marijuana-related (I’m sure you saw that one coming). If I go there, he gives me more pot than a person can handle, but that’s understandable given that he has a whole terraced mountainside to play with. And when he comes here, I sit him down at my dining room table and spread in front of him a panoply of pot and paraphernalia. I give him edibles and concentrates and the best marijuana in Durango, and we frolic through it virtually, getting high throughout the holidays.

For the record, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with using marijuana to celebrate the holidays. Alcohol usually gets all the attention thanks to hot-buttered rums and spiced wines and eggnog that’ll blur your vision, but that stuff just fills you up and slows you down, and one drink too many will put the “regret” in “season’s greetings” (it’s in there, I think). That’s why I like getting high instead. I like the way the Christmas lights sparkle and multiply with a head full of sativa haze; I like the way decadent food tastes richer during a deep Indica body high; I like the way a houseful of relatives becomes bearable thanks to any sort of marijuana. And above all else, I love the fact that gifting marijuana for the holidays is legal.

But it hasn’t always been this way. I’ve known my brother-in-law for nearly three decades, but we’ve only shared a few years of legal gift giving. Once upon a time, I’d have to give him pot the old-fashioned way, lowkey while the older relatives were snoring on the couch, too stuffed to notice. We’d have to smoke it outside in the cold Alaskan harshness, and then we’d sneak inside, hoping that grandma’s potpourri would cover the smell of our pot. However, none of that matters now, because pot is perfectly legal. If you feel like it, you can stuff stockings with cannabis, wrap boxes full of bud, or put your mom’s bourbon balls to shame with a box full of infused turtle brownies. These are wonderful times.

And this year, I’m stepping things up a little bit when my brother-in-law comes to town, because at The Greenery, we’re selling marijuana gift sets all throughout the holiday season. Yeah, that’s right, you can now walk into a dispensary and get a gift bag that’ll be appreciated for sure, because marijuana will make merry any Krampus, and it’s the one gift you’ll give this year that you know for a fact won’t be returned (and not just because it isn’t legal to do so). Anyway, we’re offering seven different gift sets, and here’s the breakdown:

1.) Flower Flight. Just like a flight of craft microbrews, this set runs the gamut. It includes 1 gram of CBD rich marijuana (like our CBD Mango Haze, which is just as festive as it sounds), 1 gram of our house-made Caviar, and 3 grams of your choice. This set will run you between $78.58 and $82.86 before tax, depending on flower choice.

2.) Sativa Flower Flight. Remember, Sativa is the strain that gives you energy, and this set would be perfect for Christmas morning. It’ll run you between $57 and $63 before tax depending on your selections, and you’ll get 4 different grams of the best Sativa flower on the planet.

3.) Indica Flower Flight. This one is the antithesis of number two, but for the same price, you’ll get four grams of deeply relaxing Indica, all bagged up and ready to give to that certain someone who needs to chill the hell out for the holidays.

4.) Sleep Gift Set. This one is $85.20 after tax, and it includes 1 LucidMood Sleep (which is an awesome, preloaded vape pen), 1 Magic Buzz Sleep (a single-serving infused drink with melatonin), 1 Indica MarQaha Tincture, and 1 Indica pre-rolled joint (which contains 1 gram of nighttime flower).

5.) Relax Gift Set. This one is $78 after tax, and it includes 1 LucidMood Relax, 1 single-serving infused hot chocolate with marshmallows, 1 box of Dixie Relaxing Mints, and 1 Indica pre-rolled joint.

6.) Party Gift Set. For $86.40 after tax, you’ll get a two-pack of Toast slices, 1 sucker (the flavor is up to you), 1 pack of Clockwork infused coffee (one of these days, I’m going to write an entire post about how awesome marijuana coffee is in the morning), and 1 Caviar pre-rolled joint. Seriously, this gift set is aptly named.

7.) Adventure Gift Set. This set was custom built for Durango. For $85.20 after tax, you’ll get 1 LucidMood Energy, 1 Chapstick (yes, they make marijuana Chapstick), 1 package of Sativa Granola, and 1 Sativa pre-rolled joint.

As a bonus, if you come in and buy one of these sets for someone, we’ll throw in a $1 pre-rolled joint just for you because you’re so thoughtful (between you and me, there’s no way we’ll know if you’re buying the gift set for yourself, because who’s to say you don’t deserve it?). Of course, there are limitations and restrictions, so please come into our store for details (sorry for sounding like a commercial).

And finally, for the first time ever, we’ll also be selling loadable gift cards at The Greenery. Yes, actual gift cards you can load with any amount, just like the ones you get at coffee shops, but ours are better, you know… because “marijuana.” How cool is that? Everyone I know always seems to end up with a stack of plastic cards after the holidays, usually ones that’re only good for eating out or shopping online, but now, one of those cards will actually buy its recipient marijuana, as long as that recipient is 21 years or older with a valid ID. Like I said, these are wonderful times.

Anyway, this Christmas, I’m going to buy my brother-in-law the Flower Flight gift set. I’m going to walk in and pay for it, let one of our knowledgeable budtenders pack it up in a discrete brown paper bag with green tissue paper (just like they’ll do for you), I’m going to put a tag on it that says “to you, from #2,” and I’m going to smile like a winner when he smokes what’s inside and is forced to admit that Colorado pot is simply better than the west-coast stuff he grows in the woods. Sure, my gift set is going to come with an “I told you so,” but yours doesn’t have to.

So please, come in and see what I’m talking about. This year, any of our friendly budtenders can help you find that perfect gift for just about anyone, because We’re Your Best Buds, and we do the holidays right.

Best Bud of the Month

Posted on September 16, 2017 - 9:00 am

The Greenery Grow, marijuana grow, cannabis, cultivation, Indiana Bubblegum, Pakistani Chitral Kush, Durango weed

Mike Michon
Cultivation Manager

It came up casually in my conversation with Mike that he’s seen Phish in concert fifty-two times. He said it like it was no big deal, nothing out of the ordinary. But it is, and I stopped him halfway into a new subject so we could talk about it:

Me: “Dear god man, seriously? Fifty-two times?”
Mike: “Yeah, some people think it’s strange.”
Me: “Actually, that’s pretty badass.”
Mike: “Yes! There’re so many people out there who aren’t passionate about anything. You need something like that in life, whether it’s mountain biking or model trains or Phish.”
Me: “… I like model trains. Especially the tiny ones.”
Mike: “Damnit. Now I want a train.”

Mr. Michon is The Greenery’s Senior Cultivation Manager; he’s our Master Grower. He spends his days about five minutes out of town tending our grow with a level of skill that borders on wizardry. And that’s not something I’m writing just to promote the weed we grow and sell; Mike’s pot is sublime. His Pakistani Chitral Kush is so good it made me want to get a “PCK” lower-back tattoo—Mike’s Indiana Bubblegum is so good it made me regret the tattoo I wanted to get because “IB” is the only pot for me.

Anyway, I sat down with Mike over the weekend and conducted one of the most entertaining interviews to date. However, I had to redact about ninety percent of what follows because Mike pulled the “off-the-record” card no fewer than twelve times (and for pretty good reason). Here’s the G-rated version:

Q: When did you start working for The Greenery?
Mike: “June 9^th, 2016.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Mike: “Joints. And Grape Ape is my favorite strain.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Mike: “Snowboarding.”

Q: Tell us about your pet.
Mike: “Walfredo is a border collie named after a Phish song.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Mike: “Grateful Dead Radio. It’s channel twenty-three on Sirius XM, but I hate Sirius XM. I’m only listening to it because of the free introductory subscription that came with my new truck. But yeah… I love The Grateful Dead.”

Q: What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Mike: “I like plants better than people. And real jobs are a shame.”

Mike gave that last answer with a smile. I laughed. But below the hilarity lives a truth—I can’t imagine how peaceful it must be to work with those plants all day, to care for them and feed them as you walk slowly through the verdure, calmed as you go by the intoxicating perfume all around. Mike is lucky to have such a station in life, but we’re just as lucky to have him on our side, because Mike is the type of person who doesn’t suffer from a dearth of passions—he isn’t “one of those people.” He loves his dog and his Phish, he loves his east coast hockey and his deep-dish pizza, and he loves growing marijuana. He takes these things seriously, and because he grows for us, we reap the benefits: thanks to Mike, The Greenery sells the best marijuana in Durango, Colorado. And that, my friends, is why Mike Michon is your Best Bud for September. Thank you, sir!

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