Greenery Life Archives | Page 7 of 9 | The Grand Junction Greenery

Posted on September 9, 2017 - 9:00 am

marijuana edible dosage, edibles, marijuana, edible dosage, consuming edibles, highly edible, dixie elixirs, mountain high, incredibles, gummies, marijuana infused

“I ate way too many edibles this one time,” said every stoner, ever. For real. Everyone I know who enjoys the occasional edible has a similar horror story—one they look back on with an embarrassed shake of the head—because eating one milligram too many is an easy thing to do. So, as a stopgap, I’m going to share my story with you, and then I’ll tell you how to avoid the same mistake. Here it is:

I have my medical card, so I have to be especially careful—The Greenery is a recreational-only dispensary, so our edibles are limited to ten milligrams of THC per serving, but the medical shops around town don’t live under the same restrictions: I’ve seen them sell one-hundred-milligram brownies that’re small enough to eat in one bite, and that’s just scary, when you think about it (but I’ll get to that in a second).

Before I hired on here, I shopped at a medical place downtown. The sour gummies they sold were my favorite. Each gummy was ten milligrams, and two of them would put me exactly where I needed to be. But this one time (see?), the company that made my favorite sour gummies doubled their per-piece dosage. Nobody told me. And I’d just made it through an especially trying week, so I decided to have three gummies instead of two, because, you know… dumb. Anyway, as soon as the flavor faded from my mouth after gummy-number-three, something on the package caught my eye. I read on. And then the “oh shit” bubble appeared over my head as I realized I’d just eaten sixty milligrams instead of a hearty thirty. I got a glass of water and hunkered down with my afghan. Crazy things were coming…

I’m going to take a break here and tell you what you’re supposed to do if you eat too many edibles: stay hydrated, and remind yourself that the world isn’t ending. Pot isn’t anything like alcohol or narcotics, and for an adult, it impossible to overdose, even on edibles. All you need to do is find a safe place, drink water, and weather the storm, because nothing about marijuana is permanent. Anyway, let’s get back to it…

My story doesn’t end like a few of the good ones I’ve heard: I didn’t end up marooned in a tree or lost topless at a music festival. But I did end up on my bed, small and bundled as I fought the panic with the fetal position. I’m not going to minimize the feeling just because I’m a proponent of selling edibles to people; it’s my job to be honest with you and that’s what I’m going to do.

That night, it felt like my brain was interdimensional.

The world around me shrank and expanded, and I lost communication with my extremities somewhere along the way—there were dizzying thoughts and tumbling worries, and I just wanted it to end. Of course, I eventually passed out after an hour that was amusing only in retrospect, and the next morning, everything was right as rain. I didn’t even have a marijuana hangover, because they don’t exist. But I’ll tell you here and now that taking sixty milligrams of edible marijuana is something I’ll never do again.

But really, that doesn’t do you any good because everyone is different when it comes to edibles. We all have different metabolisms. So, while sixty milligrams might be a Hunter S. Thompson novel for me, the same dosage might not do a damn thing for you: everyone must find their own dosage. The trick is to take it slowly and not be reckless (you know, pretty much the way you’re supposed to live life), because if you do it right, an edible high is a wonderful, warm thing that you’ll want to relive over and over. So, I recommend that you start by taking a single serving, or less, and then gauge the effects. As I mentioned, at recreational shops in Colorado, everything tops out at ten milligrams per serving and one-hundred milligrams per package, so the “single serving” you should start with is ten milligrams. I rarely repeat myself or use bold typeface, but this occasion warrants a break from tradition.

Secondly, after you eat those ten milligrams, wait a solid hour before even thinking about eating more. That boldness was justified, too. For most people, it takes an entire hour before edibles start affecting the brain, and it takes two hours before you feel the full effect; the last thing you want to do is get impatient and toss more kindling into the fire. And after an hour, if the effect isn’t strong enough, remember that THC is lipid-soluble. If you’re not feeling anything, eat a handful of peanuts or half an avocado; the healthy fat will get down there and help the pot do its magic; it’s a symbiotic trick that’ll save you from an experience like mine.

Third, if you’re small like my wife, I’d recommend taking it a step further and halving that “single serving.” At The Greenery, we sell quite a few edibles that come in five milligram servings—like Highly Edible Pucks or Mountain High Sweet Pieces or Dixie Mints—and if you have a low THC tolerance, this might be the place to start.

And lastly, don’t feel like you need to remember all of this, and please don’t let it scare you away from a good time. Edible marijuana is the greatest invention since marijuana-infused sliced bread (learn how to bake it here), and all you need to do is be responsible when you experiment. As to remembering it all, at The Greenery, every single one of our budtenders knows what you just read—if you have questions, come in and ask them. If you buy edibles, and you’re interested, we’ll even throw into your bag a cheat-sheet that talks that talks about dosages and times so you don’t have to take notes. That’s the least we can do, because we’re Your Best Buds, and we want you to have a safe, enjoyable, edible time.

Marijuana Side Effects

Posted on September 2, 2017 - 9:00 am

Prescription drug commercials are the best. They’re always filmed in subdued slow-motion with an ethereal, gauzy quality, kind of like a soap opera. There’re always plenty of pretty people frolicking around with toothy smiles. And there’s always a calming, hypnotic voice in the background listing off the side effects that come from traditional pharmaceuticals. I usually start laughing during this part of the commercial, but my family always looks at me like I’m a little daft; I guess they’ve become desensitized to the insanity on TV. But if you think about it, these commercials really are morbidly hilarious, so my laughter is perfectly apropos.

A few years back, there was a commercial for a drug designed to combat restless leg syndrome, and one of the side effects was “biting off your tongue.” I guess that in rare cases, this perfectly legal drug would cause people to have unexpected seizures wherein they’d bite of their own tongues. Isn’t that insane? Imagine for a moment some fool walking into a doctor’s office to pick up a script for his twitching legs just to end up biting off his tongue. Are you laughing? No? Well, maybe my family has a valid reason to look at me askance for my giggles, but that’s beside the point. What matters is that in modern times, you can turn on the television, stumble across a pleasant-seeming commercial, and listen to a calm, feminine voice tell you that you might “bite off your tongue” if you buy what she’s selling.

And it gets worse. Lately, since there are so many ways to die thanks to what you buy at the pharmacy, that calm voice has simplified things: more often than not, if you listen close enough, you’ll hear it say that one of the side effects is “death,” plain and simple. Hell, one of the side effects associated with most of the anti-depressants out there is “suicide,” but that doesn’t stop the commercials from playing right in the middle of my nightly news. It’s lunacy: you can buy pills that’ll kill you or make you bite off your tongue, but the innocuous plant we sell at The Greenery is still illegal in most of this hypocritical country—there’re are still people in places like Florida who’re serving life sentences for marijuana possession, while pharmaceutical reps are earning six-figure-salaries for selling pills that’ll make you kill yourself if you take them for depression. It’s asinine, because do you know what won’t kill you? Marijuana.

However, there are a few negative side effects associated with cannabis. Yes, I’m a budtender and a staff writer for a dispensary, but I’m not one of those stoners who’ll tell you that marijuana is a completely harmless drug, and it’s my job to be honest and educational in these posts. So, I’ve decided to list and discuss the three known negative side effects of marijuana—afterward, please feel free to juxtapose marijuana’s darker side against “biting off your tongue” or “death” to see if you’d still rather pop those pills. Here we go…

Xerostomia: it’s just a fancy way of saying dry-mouth. Yes, it’s true, sometimes smoking pot will give you cottonmouth. And if you let it persist, it can cause bad breath or gingiva (gum) irritation. But it’s easy to fix—just drink water or invest in some Biotene. And guess what: after drinking that water, you’ll still have your tongue, so I’d say we’re doing okay so far.
Paranoia or Anxiety: these two feelings are usually associated with Sativa strains, but if you smoke anything with a high THC percentage, you’re sure to start looking over your shoulder eventually. It happens to the best of us. But these feelings aren’t permanent—they go away as soon as the high starts to fade—and they aren’t nearly as bad as “death,” so we’re still in the clear.
Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome: this is a new one—the first official case was reported about nine years ago, and the syndrome wasn’t validated until 2009. Before I go on, I just want to tell you that I’ve been smoking for quite some time and I’ve known quite a few smokers; I talk to people every day who smoke weed because I’m a budtender, and I’ve never met anyone who suffers from this side effect. Basically, it’s possible to develop CHS after fifteen to twenty years’ worth of chronic marijuana use, and once you get it, your stomach gets upset every time you smoke pot. The nausea can be alleviated temporarily by a hot shower or bath, but the only permanent fix is to stop smoking marijuana (if you’ve been smoking chronically for twenty years, it might be time for a break anyway). And once you stop smoking, the symptoms of CHS go away immediately, and there isn’t any lasting damage.

And that’s it; I’d say we’re three-for-three regarding marijuana-related side effects that’re better than what you get from pharmaceuticals. Actually, I know for a fact that pot beats pills because I meet someone every day (quite literally) who comes into our dispensary looking to escape their prescriptions. These people have suffered for years under heavy doses of opioids or synthetic “medicine,” and they’re sick of it. They tell me how much their lives suck, or if they’ve already switched over to pot, they tell me how much better their lives have become. I get to help these people; it’s one of the best parts of my job. And with each and every one of them, I discuss the potential side effects of marijuana, just like I’ve done in this post, because it’s important to know what you’re getting in to. So, please, if you still have any questions or doubts about how pot might hurt you after reading this article, just call us at (970) 403-3710 or walk into our dispensary at 208 Parker Avenue and corner one of our budtenders. Ask us all your questions about marijuana’s side effects, and we’ll take the time to answer honestly. We’re Your Best Buds, and that’s what we do.

Children and Marijuana

Posted on August 26, 2017 - 9:00 am

You can pick your platitude—oil and water, family and business, drinking and texting—because they all work: children and marijuana don’t mix. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience: I was one of those not-so-good children who started smoking way too early, and I have a precocious teen who smells a little suspicious from time to time. She’ll walk in our door after a night out and start being super nice, which for a teen, is a dead giveaway that something is amiss (the red eyes and copious amounts of perfume round out the trifecta of obviously-stoned-minor). Of course, I tell her that smoking pot at such a young age isn’t the best of ideas, and of course, she always comes back with the classic teenaged rejoinder: “dad, you smoke, and you work in a dispensary, so you’re a hypocrite.” But am I? Am I failing to practice what I preach, as my daughter would have you believe, or am I making a prudent parenting choice by yelling “hell no” every time my daughter thinks it’s okay to ask her parent who works in this industry for marijuana? Well, I’ll tell you the same thing I tell her, and let you decide. And if you’re a parent, please take notes because this information might come in handy.

The first issue to consider is addiction. Most professionals in my situation will tell you that marijuana isn’t addictive, and to an extent, this is true because all the studies out there show that the human body doesn’t become chemically dependent on cannabis, even after long-term use. As a side note, did you know that it’s actually possible to die from alcohol addiction withdrawals? Crazy, right? Anyway, while marijuana might not be chemically addictive (like every other recreational drug known to man), I will admit that it’s possible to become emotionally addicted to pot. For the record, it’s also possible to become emotionally addicted to donuts, and diabetes will kill you, so I’d still argue that pot is safe for adults.

The National Institute for Drug Abuse calls an emotional addiction to weed “marijuana use disorder,” and as a parent, it’s important to know that teens who start smoking at a young age are four to seven times more likely to develop this condition. The reason for this is simple: the frontal lobe of a child’s brain (the place where decisions happen) isn’t fully developed. If a child makes a decision, like using marijuana as a coping mechanism, and the decision turns out to feel beneficial, the choice becomes validated mentally and the teen becomes more likely to make the same decision over and over again. The teen will start to rely on marijuana as a crutch because it worked out the first time—this same thing can happen with alcohol and sex and all the other things we try to steer our children away from. That’s why it’s important to have an adult’s maturity and life experience before smoking pot: we know what’s responsible and right, just as we know what’s just a temporary fix, like getting high.

The health risks associated with marijuana use also need to be considered. The truth is that we just don’t know what happens to children when they smoke because it hasn’t been studied sufficiently. True, we know for a fact that medical marijuana offers a much better alternative to traditional pharmaceuticals when it comes to treating seizures, the pain and appetite loss associated with cancer, and many other illnesses that befall the young, but we really don’t know what stems from chronic recreational marijuana use by children. The experts say it might interfere with cognitive development or that it might lead to a lower IQ, but only time will tell. And that’s why it’s important to arm yourself with something better than “I’m a grownup and it’s legal for me, and you’re a kid who will get in trouble, so that’s why I can smoke and you cannot.” Teens will rebel against such a line with all the angst in their arsenal, and it’s important to tell them the truth: children who use marijuana might become dependent or underdeveloped mentally, and they don’t have the maturity needed to make good decisions about repetitive marijuana use because their brains aren’t as developed as an adult’s. Saying something like this to your child will shut them right up because no amount of teenaged attitude will defeat facts and logic, and there’s no way they’ll be able to call you a hypocrite.

At The Greenery, we take this issue very, very seriously. We’re stewards of this industry, and quite a few of us are parents; we don’t want our kids smoking pot just like we don’t want your kids smoking pot. We card everyone who walks through our door, and if the ID doesn’t prove that someone is twenty-one-years old, we kick that someone out our door with quickness. But this doesn’t mean that we don’t support an adult’s right to smoke marijuana openly if they have children. That’s why we provide for parents in our dispensary educational pamphlets on how to talk to your teen about marijuana, that’s why we write blogs like this one, and that’s why we’ll take the time with any customer who asks to talk about being responsible with marijuana around children. Doing so is completely possible. We recommend that adults keep their marijuana locked away from their children, just like a responsible parent would do with alcohol and firearms. And believe it or not, there’re products on the market designed to help you get it done. There’re lockable, odor-proof stashboxes out there like this one—hell, there’re even safes out there like this one that’re designed specifically for keeping marijuana edibles in the refrigerator. All the tools you’ll need to be a responsible, marijuana-smoking parent are out there; you just need to look, and you just need to ask. So please, do exactly that. Come in to The Greenery and pick up one of the pamphlets I mentioned, or ask one of our budtenders about ways to keep your marijuana use discrete. We’ll give you the tools and advice you need, because that’s what Your Best Buds are for.

What’s it like to get high?

Posted on August 19, 2017 - 9:00 am

marijuana, pre-roll, edible, high, pot, marijuana deals

Three people have asked me this question before I sold them marijuana. It’s a strange feeling—knowing that you’re selling pot to someone who’s only heard stories about the high—and it’s an honor to answer it. But in a way, it’s a nebulous concept, one that seems ineffable once you try to put it into words, and I had to pause mentally each time someone looked at me across the counter and asked this question.

The first gentleman who asked me what it was like to get high practiced an Orthodox faith. He was kind and paternal. He’d already spent a few years in his eighties and he was in a wheelchair, resplendent in his tailored suit. He had sharp eyes and hair so white it was translucent; he sat in his chair and looked up at me and asked if the marijuana I sold would make him hallucinate. He’d tried every prescription drug on the market, searching legally for something to alleviate the pain associated with the neuropathy that’d already cost him a leg, and he was desperate. He’d never taken any sort of recreational drug because it was forbidden: no alcohol no nicotine no marijuana. And he didn’t know what to expect—he was afraid that he might see flying animals or go mad, just as the early propaganda predicted. I took my time and described the sensation, but I’ll get to that in a little bit.

The second gentleman who asked me what it was like to get high hadn’t seen many cities. Quite literally, he drove straight to our dispensary from a compound in Utah. This man was kind too, but his clothes were simple and unadorned. His hair was the color of dried clay and his demeanor was unassuming. He didn’t suffer from pain, but he was tired of living someone else’s life. Marijuana had been forbidden to this second gentleman as well, as had coffee and profanity, and he’d decided to just jump right in and smoke something salacious after thirty-five years of abstinence. But first, he wanted to know what it was like; he wanted to be sure that the marijuana myths he’d heard wouldn’t turn true after the first puff.

The third person who asked me what it was like to get high needed a translator; we used her adult grandson. He was a patient man, one who’d been smoking for years, and he held his grandmother’s hand as she walked in. She was an archetype: she wore a permanent smile and a floral print dress with large glasses nestled into her curled, grey hair. She walked around timidly, as if the wares we sold might leap out and thwart over sixty years’ worth of resolve, but she warmed up to me almost immediately. We talked through her grandson because my Spanish es no bueno, and her biggest fear was that she’d become instantly addicted; she wanted to be assured that there was a road back from the marijuana gummies I was showing her. And she wanted to know what it was like to get high.

Well… it’s wonderful. It’s pretty much exactly what Goldilocks was looking for: not too hard, not too soft, not too debilitating and not too ineffectual. After the smoke comes in and goes out, the tension disappears. Muscles relax that you didn’t know were strained, and you smile involuntarily. Your whole body, your very soul, heaves a sigh of relief, comfort, happiness. The world starts to look bright and beautiful and you see the good you’d overlooked just a moment ago. The clothes you’re wearing start to feel like pajamas, the music you hear starts to sound symphonic, and the food you eat starts to taste like the wonderment you’d find in Wonka’s chocolate factory. It feels like you’re standing in a ray of mana that’s raining down from above just for you, and as you bathe in it, life’s worries fade to the insignificant things they truly are; the pain dwindles.

And it isn’t addictive. This has been proven scientifically time and time again. The negative side effects are laughable: xerostomia (dry-mouth), an increased appetite (bring it on), and occasional anxiety (there is such a thing as too much of a good thing). In fact, and I tell this to worried customers all the time, marijuana is the second safest recreational drug out there. I’m sure you’ve read all the articles out there like this one, but just in case you haven’t, the super-smart people over at The Global Drug Survey have crunched all the numbers and compiled all the data (like emergency room visits), and they’ve ranked the nine most popular recreational drugs as per the danger associated with each one. Magical Mushrooms are the least dangerous, marijuana is a close second, and alcohol (you know, that socially accepted stuff) comes close to beating out meth as the worst stuff out there. Figures.

Frankly, I’m not sure why someone wouldn’t try marijuana—life needs to be lived—and when first-timers fall into my lap, I do my duty. I tell them the truth, and I describe what it’s like to get high honestly, sans flying animals and madness, and I make sure they leave our dispensary with the comfort that comes from making the right decision. As a budtender at The Greenery, that’s my job, and as one of Your Best Buds, it’s my pleasure.

Best Bud of the Month

Posted on August 12, 2017 - 9:00 am

Budtender, Dispensary, Dispensary deals, budtender

Libby Lunda
Retail Floor Manager

Libby used to sit by a stream in Wisconsin to smoke with her friends. They’d buy quarter ounces for fifty bucks, and the stuff was just as horrid as you’d imagine: brown brick-weed that had just as many seeds and stems as it did flower. They’d load their bowls and winnow out the seeds, and then toss them in the river, watching them float away to somewhere unseen. Libby would imagine her seeds riding the rapids and then landing to sprout on an island—it was a magical garden of sorts, a place where marijuana was legal and accepted. But that place didn’t exist in Wisconsin, so when Libby grew up and had a child of her own, she moved her family to Durango, because if you think about it, this is where her seeds have come to grow; this place is the island she imagined. And now, Libby Lunda is your Best Bud of the month.

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Libby. “I just celebrated my two-year anniversary!”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Libby. “I love bongs, and Sour Diesel is the best strain of all time.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Libby. “Gardening and growing. I love to stand back when it’s all done and look at the aftermath. The work is worth it when you see what you’ve created.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Libby. “King is an XL Bully, and he’s a little shit. He’s a puppy trapped in a beast’s body.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Libby. “Top hits, or anything modern.”
(For the record, as one of Libby’s coworkers, I can tell you that when the door is shut at the end of the day, she puts on old-school rap and turns it up. Don’t be fooled by that “top hits” nonsense; Libby is a straight-up gangster.)

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Libby. “I love our customers. I love getting to know the regulars and helping the tourists who are just as excited about legal marijuana as I am.”

Libby is the sort of person who combats the budtender stereotype. She isn’t in this industry because she sees it as a novelty or because she’s some stoner who’s looking for an employee discount. She’s here because she knows this industry has a future, and she’s the type of young professional who plans on capitalizing on the unique opportunity that has sprouted downstream from Wisconsin. And she really does love her customers as much as she says. I’ve seen her perk up in the middle of a bad day just to dedicate all of her attention to someone who’s just looking for some relief. Libby is a compassionate budtender who cares genuinely for each and every one of The Greenery’s customers, and because of that, she is definitely your Best Bud of the month for August. Thank you Libby!

The Greenery Hits a Theme Song

Posted on August 5, 2017 - 9:00 am

The Greenery, dispensary deals, marijuana, pot shop

Darth Vader is cool only because he has theme music. Granted, the lightsaber helps a little bit, as does his freaky ability to choke fools from a distance, but if it wasn’t for the sonorous, tonal music that follows Vader wherever he goes, he’d be average at best. All the other aliens in that far, far away galaxy wouldn’t even notice when he walked in the room, despite his awkward breathing, and there’s no way he could pull off that goth cape without his theme song. It’s sad, but true.

That’s why I’ve always wanted theme music. Sometimes, when I’m especially high, my brain obliges. I’ll be walking from point “A” to point “B,” and something groovy will start playing in my head. My walk will morph into a strut, and I’ll start humming “Stayin’ Alive” by The Bee Gees. The world around me will slow down and start to sparkle, and I’ll bob my head to the rhythm. And if that were to ever happen in the real-world, I’d know that I’ve arrived, because anybody who’s anybody has theme music.

Think about it. When the President of the United States steps up to the podium, he’s accompanied by brazen fanfare—an entire orchestra announces his arrival with pomp and circumstance. When Stephan Colbert steps on stage, his audience knows it thanks to his Late Show theme song. Hell, a couple years ago at The Oscars, Tom Hanks got pissed-off because the band played the Forest Gump song when he walked on stage instead of the song from whatever movie he starred in that week; Tom Hanks is so famous he has multiple theme songs. That’s just crazy. But now, The Greenery is catching up to his level, because we have a theme song too—put that in your box of chocolates, Mr. Gump.

Dexter Davis is a student at Arkansas State, an artist who goes by ICEberg Slim, and he sent us his song a few weeks back. It’s called “The Greenery,” and really, it’s just a happy coincidence; the song has nothing in common with our dispensary save for its title, and Slim has never walked through our door. But theme songs don’t just fall from the sky every day, so for this blog, at least, we’re coopting Slim’s song as our own. And the song is alright. It sounds like the type of music Shaft would wake-and-bake to—warm and scratchy, vinyl straight from the turntable, it’s an old-school stoner jam.

Listen to it here, and then come in to tell us what you think. Feel free to walk through our door humming your own personal theme song, because your best buds won’t judge you. We know exactly what it’s like having a theme song, thanks to Dexter Davis, and just like Darth Vader, The Greenery has arrived.

Dexter Davis, Iceberg Slim, marijuana song — Dexter Davis, aka ICEberg Slim, at a recent performance.

#DispoLife

Posted on July 29, 2017 - 9:00 am

Budtender, Dispensary, Pot, Weed, Marijuana

There’s a large, sectional couch in our backroom. It’s black and upholstered with some sort of faux leather, and I love it. I come in an hour early twice a week to sit crisscross-applesauce right in the corner where the two sections meet; I put this laptop on my lap and I start clicking away on these shopworn keys just so you can read blogs just like this one. But today is different—today, I’m going to give you a peek behind the curtains.

I’m sitting on that couch right now, typing, comfortably in my spot. I’m in a large warehouse festooned with posters and artwork; there’s a shelving system encircling the room and three standing-desks against the walls. The air smells like you’d expect it to in a dispensary, verdant and calming, and there’s a swamp-cooler chill in the air. My earbuds are in and I’m listening to the type of embarrassing music that makes you appreciate headphones. I’m eight sentences into this post, and every ten minutes or so, Savanna walks by and opens an enormous bag of marijuana under my nose so I can smell this or that new strain. The last bag was full of Kosher Kush, and as I sniffed it while sitting on this couch, I realized that life couldn’t get much better: I realized that dispensary life is the life for me.

But I also realized that outsiders such as yourself might think that it’s always like this. You know, like maybe dispensary life is all about sitting on a couch and listening to music while a smiling girl like Savanna holds piles of pot under your face. I’m sure there’re people out there who think that we just play all day, balling up handfuls of marijuana so we can have a summertime snowball fight, laughing and frolicking in slow-motion like kids at a slumber-party while cannabis rains down amongst us. Well, it’s not like that (I swear). Everyone here is a professional who works hard for this company, and for this particular post, I figured I’d give you a virtual tour—a virtual “meet the team,” if you will—to dispel the dispensary myth that we’re all just lazy stoners. So, here we go…

Sloane’s desk is right behind me. She scours the world of cultivation to find for our customers the best pot in Colorado, and she does a damn good job. Because of her, we always have fourteen different strains available for our customers on our menu. In case you’re wondering, that’s five Sativa strains, five Indica strains, a high CBD strain, caviar (aka “moonrocks”), and two different strains in our one-gram, pre-rolled joints. Sloane orders all our flower and she makes sure our budtenders know everything about it, from THC potency to the strain’s lineage, and I promise it’s a fulltime job requiring serious dedication.

Savanna’s desk is against the wall across the way; she’s our assistant compliance manager. True, she makes me sniff pot sometimes, but she spends most of her time making sure our practices are up to snuff with this state’s demanding litany of recreational marijuana regulations; she handles the stress and demand with grace. Sam’s desk is right next to Savanna’s, and he does his damnedest to make sure our inventory is spot on; I’m not going to go into the vagaries associated with his position, but trust me, it’s important to be a mental ninja to do Sam’s job; our inventory is a liquid thing, ebbing and flowing in time with the insane amount of demand this industry experiences. So, Sam’s job is a high-maintenance endeavor requiring an attention to detail bordering on the obsessive.

Joel and Brian share one of the offices in the hallway; these two men are a duo of visionaries. They own this company and they have plans, you know, like Pinky and the Brain kind of plans wherein world domination is the goal. We’re expanding because of them, but I’ll write about that later. Further down the hall, there’s an office full of ladies. Karen lives in there (she’s our accountant who makes sure the numbers jive). Her desk is right next to Ashley’s, our house council, who’s ready at any time to defend this business with her mightier-than-the-sword pen. Faith has a desk in there too; she’s our marketing guru, and she sits behind her computer with that confident smile of hers while deftly selling our services to Durango.

Zach’s room comes next—it’s the pre-weigh room, and he spends his days weighing out accurately the pot you buy when you walk in our door. I’m sure that sounds like a simple task, but each nug-jug he fills must come within one-fiftieth of a gram to be good enough for our customers, and exacting requirements like that demand a laudable level of efficiency. Libby and Melissa share the office to your right as soon as you walk in, and chances are that one of them has asked for your identification. Melissa is our community relations manager and she orders all our edibles and concentrates; she’s been here since the beginning. Libby orders all our pipes and bongs and she’s our floor manager; our shop looks the way it does thanks to her hard work.

And that leaves the floor: you’ll usually find Clay or me behind the counter. Clay is a pot wizard who can tell you everything there is to know about the marijuana you’re buying because he helps us grow it, and I’m the new guy who writes for you and smiles incessantly because I finally broke into the marijuana industry. Lastly, Mike and Chris run our off-site grow. These two men form a modern-day Abbott and Costello comedic team, but when it comes to growing and harvesting marijuana, they’re serious master-growers who deliver crop after crop of Durango’s best marijuana.

And there you have it: it takes fifteen, full-time professionals to keep this dispensary running seven days per week. We take our tasks seriously with pride—I swear to you that The Greenery is the best dispensary in Durango—and we work as hard as we can to earn the title we go by: your Best Buds.

Marijuana Grow, The Greenery, Budtender, Master Cultivator, Dispensary Life — High on life at The Greenery Grow!

Dispensary, Durango dogs, pot shop, best dispensary in durango — There is always a dog…or 5 in the back of The Greenery.

Marijuana, pot shop, weed, budtender, durango dispensary — Sam giving a wave and managing marijuana inventory in The Greenery warehouse.

Indica vs. Sativa

Posted on July 22, 2017 - 9:00 am

There’re over four-thousand different strains of marijuana growing across the globe, sprouting like the wondrous weeds they are, but each of them falls into one of two categories: Indica or Sativa. Of course, most strains have been crossbred so many times that it’s difficult to tell which is which, and just about everything out there is a hybrid thanks to the incestuous way plants get together and make more plants—after decades of desultory pollination, there’s no longer a definite line in the sand between the two categories, and that can make things difficult when you’re chasing the effects that come from one side or the other.

But at The Greenery, we’re here to help. We know the lineage of each strain we sell and we’ve smoked all of them. We can tell you which bud will make you sleepy, which bud will perk you up, just like that Cheshire cat could tell Alice which side would make her bigger, which side would make her small. But before we get into specific strains, we should discuss the two, overarching categories so you have a jumping off place; we’ll start with Sativa.

You probably drew a Sativa leaf on your notebook back in high school. Yes, all pot leaves have the same number of fronds and they’re instantly recognizable thanks to the jagged edges, but Sativa leaves are a little different than their fatter Indica cousins. They’re light green and thin and they spread out perfectly to form the symbol we use for all marijuana. And the plant itself is special too. It can grow into a veritable tree, standing over two-stories high if you let it, but most varieties top-out at around ten feet.

Sativa is a day-time pot. The high is energetic and creative, and it’ll give you a bright haze that’s perfect for summer days, happy times. These cerebral strains live in your head and pollinate your thoughts with creativity, they make you giggle and go out, connect with what’s important. Sativa strains should remind you of tie-died T-shirts and road trips and the highlife we’ve been trying to recapture from the hippie days our parents reminisce about. And from a medical standpoint, these strains can battle back pain and headaches and depression, and for some, they can even act as an appetite suppressor, thereby destroying the “munchies” stereotype you see in cliché pot movies. However, I’d be lax if I didn’t tell you about Sativa’s darker side, so I’ll be honest about the possible negative side effects: with one puff too many, these strains are more likely to bring with them anxiety and paranoia. But you know what? Given that traditional pharmaceuticals and other recreational drugs (like booze) can kill you, I’d say a little anxiety is worth it (there’s no such thing as a pot writer who doesn’t toss in a caveat like that, so please forgive me).

Now, on to Indica—these varieties are famous for their dark green, broad leaves, and a musky scent. The plants themselves are short and squat, usually topping out at about six feet, and they’re originally from India and the Middle East (ergo, the name). Indica is a nighttime pot, perfect for good movies and comfortable blankets thanks to the body-high these strains bring with them. This strain should remind you of relaxed, fragrant evenings and smiling camels and that odd sitar music that makes sand dunes so exotic. Medicinally speaking, Indica strains can help with appetite stimulation and insomnia and anxiety relief. But one puff too many can put you down, and lethargy or insatiable munchies are the worst you can expect. It’s a cheesy one-liner, but all you need to remember is that “Indica will put you in-da-couch.” It’s the down to Sativa’s up, the mellow yin to Sativa’s energetic yang. And it’s wonderful.

Personally, before I started working in a dispensary, I used to think that Indica was the way to go, and that Sativa wasn’t for me. And now, I meet people who think the same way (or visa-versa) every day. They’ll come in and say something like “I hate Sativa because it makes me paranoid,” and they’ll ignore completely any of our Sativa-dominant hybrids. For the record, I don’t judge these people because my tastes used to run parallel to theirs. But now I’ve learned a few things, and I share them with as many customers as possible. At The Greenery, we always have at least ten, top-shelf strains available for purchase—five are Indica-dominant, and five are Sativa-dominant. You can see them here on our menu.

However, it’s the “dominant” in the description you need to pay attention to, because like I said, there’s really no such thing as a pure Indica or a pure Sativa anymore because just about everything out there has been mixed with everything else. But you know what? This is a good thing. Now, if you ask the right people (like us), you can find a perfect 50/50 hybrid that’ll give you both the head high that comes from Sativa and the body high that comes from Indica. If you come in and ask us, we can show you 70/30 strains that lean closer to the Sativa side of the spectrum—these can give you creativity and relaxation at the same time which can be sublimely mind-blowing. Or we can point you towards a 70/30 Indica-leaning strain that’ll bring with it deep body relaxation and a touch of the giggles. Isn’t that awesome?

Seriously, here at The Greenery, we can do that for you, and we won’t lead you astray as you bounce back and forth in the Indica vs. Sativa battle. Come in and tell us the specific high you’re looking for, and we’ll give you options. We’ll let you smell them and buy them at a fair price, and we’ll pay attention to your feedback. That’s how it should be, and that’s how it is with Your Best Buds.

Indica vs Sativa, Sativa vs Indica, Indica dominant, Platinum OG Bud, Platinum OG — The Greenery menu description for an Indica-dominant strain.

Best Bud of the Month

Posted on July 12, 2017 - 7:18 pm

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Melissa Nichols
Vendor & Community Relations Manager

Some Navy Seals can hold their breath for seven minutes; they go through all sorts of ninja training to get to that point. But at The Greenery, we have a budtender who can hold her breath for seventy-two seconds; she discovered her talent while playing dead-man games in Mexico because you’re never too old to mess with foreign lifeguards.

Melissa Nichols is simply awesome. She’s an open book who loves what she does, and we love having her here, but being our Community Relations Manager wasn’t her first job; Mel used to be a professional naked person. She posed in the nude for a sculpting class two hours per day, three times a week, for six weeks (if you do the math, that’s thirty-six hours’ worth of nudity in front of strangers). And I’m sure that if you looked long and hard enough, you’d probably be able to find a miniature, sculpted, naked Melissa at a local garage sale (we hereby promise a $1 pre-roll joint to anyone who brings one in). But here’s the rest of her story.

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Melissa. “I was the first budtender on the payroll, and I was behind the counter when Wally (our first customer) gave us the twenty-dollar bill that’s hanging in the back office.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Melissa. “I love water pipes, and Cheese is my all-time favorite strain.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Melissa. “I love snowboarding and hiking, but what I love most is connecting with the outdoors. I love taking time to myself outside and just breathing, looking at the life and nature around me, the bugs and plants, because it helps me connect with what’s important.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Melissa. “Mr. Mac is a black cat, and Prince Hal is a cat colored like a cow. He’s a Holstein cat. And Tigger is our yellow lab. We got him too late to do anything about his name.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Melissa. “alt-J radio, or any of the Tiny Desk Concerts on NPR; they’re just awesome.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Melissa. “People are happy when they come into our store, and I get to make them happier. And I don’t have to censor myself when I’m working here, so I absolutely love it.”

And that’s Melissa. She’s the type of person who’s more comfortable barefoot—I’ve seen her afterhours, walking around in her colorful socks, making small foot-fists on the foamy pads behind our sales counter, and that says a lot about a person. She isn’t afraid to be who she is, and even though you might not believe it, she really is just as nice as she comes across when she asks for your ID. Melissa is a genuine and open person, and she’s worked diligently over the past two and a half years to make The Greenery Durango’s best dispensary. And that, my friends, is why Melissa Nichols is you Best Bud of the Month.

Cheers! The Greenery, Budtender, Durango

Marijuana Terpenes

Posted on July 8, 2017 - 9:00 am

My mom used to throw uppity wine parties when I was a child. She’d sit around with her friends and they’d spend more time sniffing their wine than drinking it, swirling it around in their oversized tasting glasses while they wore on their faces the serious expression of a wannabe connoisseur. They’d stick out their pinky fingers and raise their glasses, and then spout all sorts of pompous nonsense like “oh my, this one has a delightful tobacco finish,” or, “the nose on this one is reminiscent of figs on a warm summer’s day.” I’d stand against the wall shaking my head, doing everything I could to stop myself from shouting “it’s just alcoholic grape juice, you idiots!”

But then I got older and realized that there really is a marked difference between the white zinfandel sold in gas station coolers and the stuff sold in boutiques with labels inked entirely in French. Now I can appreciate the tannins and sulfites, or the lack thereof, and I don’t mind paying extra for the good stuff because that’s what life is about. And there’re plenty of parallels to be drawn between wine tasting and pot smoking because the taste matters—as it turns out, if you pay attention to the smell and flavor of your favorite flower, you can figure out exactly which type of high you can expect.

Distilled down to its essence, marijuana is a substance that we smoke to feel good and it’s possible to be too supercilious, saying all sorts of weird words like decarboxylation or cannabinoids just to sound smart, and I promise I won’t do that right now; the information I’m about to share with you is real, and we’re just now starting to understand it. Eventually, marijuana will be marketed by the specific effects each strain provides after the scientists figure it out definitively, but for now, a good deal of this is iffy around the edges. So, it goes without saying that the effects and smells listed below are subjective. Here we go…

“Terpenes” are hydrocarbons. They’re found in almost all green, leafy plants, and they serve as natural protection against mold and bugs and whatever else plants are afraid of. They’re the fancy little chemicals that make pot smell and taste the way it does, and they work in concert with other cannabinoids like THC and CBD to make you feel good when you smoke marijuana—the THC gets you high, but the terpenes effect how that high feels. Know what I mean? If THC is He-Man, a muscle-bound do-gooder who always saves the day, then the terpenes are Battle Cat, an unsung hero who helps the hero do what he needs to do. And each terpene does something different, something you can intentionally look for in your pot by taste and smell. Again, what follows is subjective, so you’ll need to fiddle around with this a little on your own to get the most out of this:

Pinene. This one is easy to remember because it smells like a pine tree, just like the name suggests. It might help with asthma relief or memory problems or inflammation.
B-Caryophyllene. This is a hard one to pronounce (and my spell-check hates it), but it smells like cloves or pepper, and it might help with digestive problems like ulcers or an upset stomach.
d-Limonene. This is another easy one because it smells like lemons, and it might help with immune system problems.
Terpinolene. This one will smell like flowers, and it’s an antioxidant with antibacterial effects and mood enhancement possibilities.
Linalool. This one will smell sweet and fruity, and it might help you with pain or anxiety of depression.
B-Ocimene. This one will smell like a woody orchard (I promise that’s as poetic as I’ll get) and research suggests it might be antifungal/antiviral.
B-Myrcene. This is the dank stuff, the musky perfection that permeates my favorite Indica strains, and it might bring with it relaxation and pain relief and respite from insomnia.

And there you have it; I’m sure you’ve already figured out how this list might help you: if you’re having stomach problems that you’d like to try to treat with marijuana, come into our store and walk up to the counter. Grab one of our sample jars and unscrew the lid, and smell one of our strains—look for something that smells like cloves or pepper and see if the B-Caryophyllene terpene does something for your belly. Or, if you’re in a bad mood, sniff around our samples looking for something that smells like flowers to cheer you up, buttercup. And so on and so forth. Let you nose be your guide, just like Toucan Sam used to tell us in his Fruit Loop commercials, and see where it leads you—it might bring you the relief you’ve been looking for. At the end of the day, that’s what matters, and that’s why we’ve decided to put this out there for you, because we’re your Best Buds.

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