the greenery order Archives | The Grand Junction Greenery

How to Hide the Smell of Marijuana

Posted on June 1, 2019 - 9:00 am

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Marijuana stinks. Well, to me, it smells like paradise, but you know what I mean. And it’s one of those smells that most of us are born loving, like bacon or coffee, so in a way, it’s sacrilegious to cover it up. But I get it. Your living situation might not let you blow smoke wherever you want, and at least one person a day comes into our Durango dispensary to ask about ways to mask cannabis’s funk, so this week, I decided to write about it.

First off, please don’t do that dumb thing where you light a ton of incense and shove a towel under the door; you might as well also put a sign on the door that says, “I’m totally smoking pot in here.” I mean, the towel/incense route might get you by occasionally, but it’s not a long-term fix. So, as my first tip, don’t smoke in a box like your bedroom. Go outside. Sit on the roof. Open the window and stick your head out. If you want to throw the towel into the mix, do it, but ventilation and fresh air are the keys.

As my next tip, if lighting a plant on fire and standing in the smoke is too stinky for you, try an edible because there’s obviously no fire involved, or a vape pen. With a cannabis vaporizer pen, the ceramic atomizer (or wick system) inside essentially boils the THC oil, so a vapor is created as opposed to smoke. Vapors don’t cling or linger like smoke, so the minimal smell that exists doesn’t linger. For real, when it comes to “smoking,” there’s nothing more discrete than vaping.

That being said, let’s say you’re dead-set on smoking flower and avoiding the smell; you need to make a “sploof.” Step one: take a cardboard tube (like an empty toilet paper or paper towel tube) and fill it full of dryer sheets. In a pinch, you can spray perfume on toilet paper and use it to stuff the tube. Next, take a single dryer sheet and cover one end of the tube, and tape it in place (or secure it to the tube with a hair tie). Now all you have to do is take a hit and blow it through the tube (please blow through the end that isn’t covered with a dryer sheet). The smoke will travel through all the dryer sheets inside your sploof and the scent will be filtered out. These things work exceedingly well. In fact, they also sell commercial sploofs like the Smoke Buddy that use replaceable charcoal filters to eliminate smells, and that beats a bunch of burning incense any day.

But what about hiding the smell of unsmoked flower? Is that the question you really wanted me to answer? The only reason I ask is that quite a few of our customers come in here looking for “smell-proof bags,” which isn’t something we sell. I’d image that at least one of the people who’ve asked me was looking for a smell-proof bag so they could ship their pot home or bring it on the plane, but please, DON’T DO THIS. They’ll find it, and it’s illegal. For one, dogs can smell anything, and there’s no such thing as a smell-proof bag that’s also x-ray proof, so you simply shouldn’t risk it. Ever. However, if you have a roommate who sniffs around your room like a bloodhound looking for your stash when you’re gone, or if you’re unlucky enough to still live with your parents after turning 21, you might have a legitimate reason to hide the smell of your fresh flower, so I’ll talk about it.

The trendiest way to do this is with a Skunk Bag, which is a “smell-proof” backpack or small bag with built-in charcoal filtration devices. But the problem with these things is that they all have a branded skunk emblem embroidered on the bag, and if you’re trying to hide your pot from a roommate that knows about skunk bags, that little emblem will make your stash obvious. So, instead of spending tons of money online for a smell-proof bag, just use a mason jar. They’re cheap, you probably have a few in your kitchen right now, and glass is always the best thing in which to store your pot. Just keep it out of the sun (and away from prying eyes), and your pot will stay fresh and not stink all at the same time.

Lastly, please remember that we become desensitized to smells pretty quickly. Just about every customer who walks into our dispensary compliments how fragrant our store is, but it always takes me a second to figure out what they’re talking about—if you spend eight hours in a room full of pot, you stop smelling the pot. So, if you get high in a room and sit there for a while, it’ll stop smelling to you, but anyone who walks in will know exactly what you’ve been doing. Keep it ventilated, use a sploof, and keep your pot in a sealed mason jar; you’ll be good to go. Or, if you’re like me and you like to keep the smell loud and proud, come see us at 208 Parker Avenue and take a sniff of what we have to offer (so long as you’re over 21 with a valid I.D.) because We’re Your Best Buds!

Cannabis Science Update

Posted on May 25, 2019 - 9:00 am

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I can’t tell you how often I hear one of my older customers say something like, “man, marijuana sure has changed since my day,” but the funny thing is that most of these people don’t know how right they are.

In past posts, I’ve told you about how CO2 is used in cultivations to increase photosynthesis; I’ve told you about how super-critical hydrocarbons are used to extract cannabinoids from plant matter; I’ve told you about how cannabinoids can be micro-encapsulated to make transdermal products and about how some distillates are now water-soluble. But today, I have something truly mind-blowing to tell you about: yeast-synthesized cannabinoids.

As I’m sure you know, a “cannabinoid” is a compound like THC that’s found in cannabis. That’s the simple part. And I’m sure you also know that cannabis produces multiple cannabinoids, over 100 of them by some counts, but we don’t know what all of them do. The reason for this is that the cannabis plant is pretty good at producing the famous cannabinoids like THC and CBD, but all the others exist only in trace amounts in the plant—it’s exceedingly difficult to test a rare cannabinoid like CBC or THCV if you can’t isolate enough of the compound for testing purposes.

However, scientists have now figured out a way to genetically modify yeast to make it produce THC instead of alcohol. See what I mean by “mind-blowing”? Usually, yeast like this is used only to make booze. Those crazy little organisms are thrown in with a sugar-rich mash like grape juice, the yeast eats all the sugar, and then it poops out alcohol. It’s kinda gross when you think about it that way, but that’s the way it works. But now, thanks to genetic modifications, a new kind of yeast can be fed a soup of nutrients, including galactose (the sugar in brewer’s yeast), and it’ll pump out whichever cannabinoid the yeast had been modified to make. So now, if a scientist wants to create and isolate a bunch of CBC to see what its medicinal effects might be, they don’t need to grow tons of cannabis to extract a minimal amount of the cannabinoid. All they need to do is reprogram some yeast, feed it sugar, collect the CBC, and then start running tests. You can read more about it HERE if you’d like.

For the record, I know that “GMO” is an evil acronym to most cannabis enthusiasts because we prefer natural things, but it’s important to realize that the THC created by this new yeast is chemically identical to the THC created by cannabis—the yeast is genetically modified, not the THC that comes out. And the implications from this new scientific breakthrough don’t stop with testing. Yeast can produce good ol’ THC or CBD much more quickly than the marijuana plant, so, you guessed it, this will make isolated THC much more affordable, and manufacturers will be able to add it to edibles much more easily because the THC won’t need to be extracted from plant matter. This might make it so retail edible prices drop significantly, the consistency per potency will become much more uniform, and the range of cannabinoids available will grow exponentially. Despite the GMO aspect of it all, I think yeast-synthesized cannabinoids are exciting, and their place in our market is inevitable.

But, that’s all in the future. Today, all the cannabinoids we sell in our Durango dispensary come from the marijuana plant, but the future is fun to talk about. So, if you’d like to chat about what’s on the horizon, or if you’d simply like some good, old-fashioned pot to put in your pipe, bring your valid I.D. proving that you’re 21 or over and come see us at 208 Parker Avenue. Either way, we’ve got you covered, because We’re your Best Buds!

A Book About Marijuana

Posted on May 11, 2019 - 9:00 am

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Have you ever read “To kill a Mocking Bird” by Harper Lee? It’s an American classic that won a Pulitzer in 1961, but it’s the only book ever written by Lee, which is a bit strange when you think about it. Honestly, if your first book ended up being one of the all-time best, wouldn’t you write something else? Or maybe it isn’t strange at all, because if you’re going to retire, maybe doing so at the pinnacle like Lee did would make you an instant legend. Know what I mean? If you’re gunna go out, go out on top.

But the real reason I started thinking about Harper Lee is that her one-and-only book was 100,000 words long, so she and I have something in common: this is the 100^th blog I’ve written for The Greenery, and since they’ve all been around 1,000 words long, today marks the day wherein I’ve written 100,000 words about cannabis. That’s the same thing as writing a bona fide book about pot, but I’m pretty sure the Pulitzer people aren’t going to call me, and there’s no way I’m stopping now. Also, everybody knows that when you write 100K about pot, you get to write one post about anything you want, and it doesn’t need to make since. So, this week, I’m going to write about two completely unrelated topics: borosilicate glass, and xerostomia (I do what I want).

Let’s start with the glass. There are two types of glass people use to make pipes and bongs and whatnot: soda-lime glass and borosilicate. The soda-lime variety is the most common, and it accounts for about 90% of all the glass stuff out there, and I’m not just talking about pipes. This glass is made with SiO2 (soda) and calcium oxide (lime), and it’s used for everything from windows to beer bottles to pipes. If you’ve ever bought one of those multi-colored, handblown pipes, you’ve smoked out of soda-lime glass, but there’s a problem with that: soda-lime glass has a high CTE (coefficient of thermal expansion) which means that every time it’s heated up with your lighter and then cooled by the air after your hit, the stress causes little cracks to spiderweb through your pipe. That’s why those things never last. Eventually, you’ll drop your soda-lime pipe and it’ll shatter into a million pieces of smoke-session ruining glass. People always wonder why their pipes break so easily after using it for a while, but now you know.

The other type of glass is borosilicate which is made from a mixture of silica and boric oxide; this is the stuff glass blowers use to make scientific stuff like beakers and whatnot. And yes, it’s also the stuff your Pyrex cookware is made from, so I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. Borosilicate has a very low CTE, so it doesn’t matter how many times you heat it up. It won’t crack, and it’ll stay awesome for just about ever. And now, we’re selling both types of glass in our Durango dispensary, because we want you to have a choice.

Now, on to xerostomia (again, I don’t need smooth segues because this is my 100^th blog). The first peer-reviewed study on the health risks associated with long-term marijuana was recently released (you can read it HERE), and it confirmed what I’ve believed for quite some time: cannabis doesn’t suck. Basically, super-smart doctors in New Zealand started their study on a group of people in the early seventies and tracked their health through thirty years of research while keeping an eye on the individuals who smoked pot regularly. And after three decades of study and comparison, those super-smart doctors were able to tie only one adverse heath condition to long-term cannabis use: gum disease. Do you know why? Smoking marijuana can give you a dry mouth (xerostomia), and a dry mouth can lead to gum disease.

Um… duh. I could’ve saved those super-smart doctors thirty years if they would’ve just asked me what smoking marijuana does, but they never called. Yes, pot can make your mouth dry, and if you keep it that way, your gums will suffer, but thank goodness, there’s a cure to the one proven adverse health effect that stems from cannabis use: drinking water. Boom. Problem solved. If you make sure to stay hydrated while you’re smoking, you can stay high and keep your healthy gums; it’s that simple. Or, if you’re one of the unlucky few who get xerostomia on steroids after getting high, you can throw some Biotene into the mix and give your gums a hydrating bath that even the stoniest pot can’t parch.

There. Blog 100 is in the books. But there’s something else you need to know. I’m the guy who handles our wholesale to other dispensaries, and as such, I’ve literally visited the websites for all the other dispensaries in this state, over five-hundred of them, and nobody else in Colorado has a blog like ours. Yes, other blogs exist, but new posts come up once every month or so (not every week like ours), and frankly, they’re all sales-heavy and information-light. Here, at The Greenery, the owners have made a substantial investment into our blog, and they do it for education and enlightenment, not for an extra buck. That’s something special, and we’re going to keep doing it instead of going out on top like Harper Lee, because We’re Your Best Buds!

CBN in Durango

Posted on May 4, 2019 - 9:00 am

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Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, marijuana was illegal. The people fought this fact with everything they had, and in the end, it was marijuana’s medicinal properties that led to change; medicinal marijuana was legalized in Colorado in the year 2000. And back then, marijuana was treated and sold like medicine. Yes, people looked for THC because it got them high, but the medical shops also focused on the other cannabinoids like CBD, CBG, and CBN because those are the compounds that most people consider to be “medicinal.”

After a few years of legal medical pot, we were able to prove that marijuana isn’t an evil thing that leads to jazz music and two-headed babies like the opponents thought, so Colorado legalized recreational marijuana in 2014. Of course, this made getting pot much easier because all you needed was a driver’s license proving that you were over twenty-one, so slowly but surely, medical patients let their prescription cards expire because they were no longer necessary. More and more recreational shops started to open, and prices started to drop right alongside the demand for medical shops; medical dispensaries started closing across the state.

In a way, this is sad—the medical approach that led to legalization is slowly being abandoned because recreational marijuana is easier, but that’s just the way it goes when it comes to capitalism. However, something else is disappearing. Most recreational shoppers aren’t looking for CBD, CBG, or CBN because they don’t get you high, so, thanks to supply and demand, the medicinal cannabinoids I mentioned earlier are becoming difficult to find in Colorado… that’s where The Greenery comes in. Yes, we love selling the stuff that makes our customers high and happy, but we know that for many people, marijuana is medicine, and we’re loyal to the medicinal marijuana that gave us legalization in the first place. So, in our Durango dispensary, you can still find products rich is secondary cannabinoids because a “high” isn’t all that matters. We sell all sorts of stuff that focuses on cannabinoids such as THCa or CBG or CBN, and for this week’s post, I wanted to focus on the latter because CBN is some wonderful stuff.

Technically, CBN (or “cannabinol”) is considered to be psychoactive by some, but plenty of people argue this designation. For something to be “psychoactive,” it needs to “affect the mind” like THC does by getting you high. And CBN doesn’t really do this, but since it makes you tired (which is a mental effect, if you think about it), about half the cannabis world calls CBN the “other psychoactive cannabinoid.” Either way, when most cannabis enthusiasts look for something that may act like a sleep aid, they turn to CBN, and here at The Greenery, we sell three CBN-rich products thanks to our focus on medicinal products despite what the market is doing. Here they are:

1.) CBN Capsules from Mary’s Medicinals. Each of these capsules will deliver 5mg CBN (with is a wonderful serving size for a good night’s sleep) and 1mg THC for that perfect entourage effect. This product will cost you $90 out-the-door (for a pro tip, check the price on Tuesday), but that’s only because the cannabis plant produces only a minimal amount of CBN, so this cannabinoid is difficult and costly to isolate. That being said, there are also 30 capsules in each bottle, which comes out to a month’s supply. But if you’re looking to try CBN to see if it’s worth the cost, check out this next product:

2.) CBN Transdermal Patches. This product will cost you only $12 out-the-door, it delivers 10mg CBN, and it’s a single-serving patch that you put someplace venous like the inner wrist or the top of your foot. Many of our customers swear by these things because once they slap it on, the patch can deliver CBN through your skin for up to 12 hours, which could definitely make for a good night’s sleep.

3.) CBN Transdermal Gel Pens. This product represents a happy medium between the first two products because it’ll cost you $60 after tax, and it contains 100mg CBN. The pen will deliver 2mg CBN per serving, and all you do is click a little button to dispense the transdermal cream, which you then apply to a thin-skinned area so it can soak into your blood stream. Neat, right?

So, if you’re a past medical marijuana patient who’s frustrated by the fact that all the medical shops in Colorado are closing and you can’t find “medicinal” cannabinoids, come see us at 208 Parker Avenue. All you’ll need is a valid I.D. proving that you’re 21 or over, but if you have a valid Colorado-issued medical card as well, we’ll give you a 20% discount, because We’re Your Best Buds!

The THC Classic

Posted on April 27, 2019 - 9:00 am

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I’m still getting used to the idea of marijuana business trips. The business trip part is simple enough because I did that for over a decade—I got used to the slacks and nice shirts, the hotels and continental breakfasts, the company bar tabs and small talk. And when you think about it, nothing should change if you throw marijuana into the mix because legalized marijuana has created a business that’s just as legitimate as all the others, but it’s still weird. Thus far, I’ve been on four business trips for our marijuana company, and I’m planning my fifth. I grab my business cards and my laptop and my nice shirts just like I used to, and I travel around selling commodities to business owners just like I used to. And it was all getting workaday just like it used to be, starting to feel normal, but during the last week of March, I went on a business trip that would remind me of just how odd this whole thing really is.

Long story short, we decided to enter a few products from our Greenery Hash Factory in The THC Classic that’s put on annually by Rooster Magazine. We’d never entered a competition like this one before because we thought going up against the big guys might be tilting at windmills; some of those companies operate chains of dispensaries and concentrate production facilities that’ve been open since the beginning. So, when we got the call that we’d need to show up to accept our awards, it seemed a bit surreal. But we shifted schedules here in the shop so the Hash Factory could go as a team, we grabbed our business cards and laptops, and we hit the road for Denver.

We checked into our hotel and grabbed a bite to eat. We called an Uber and headed down to the Temple Nightclub, where the award ceremony would be held. Our Uber driver was from Morocco, which we took to be a good sign because one of our contest entries was our Moroccan Hash, but we still didn’t know what to expect. When we showed up, the scene was exactly what you’d expect at a nightclub: there were red ropes and a line, there were irritable bouncers and flashing lights, and there were party girls dressed in grass skirts and coconut braziers who were obviously paid to be there. We waited in line, endured the pat-down, and then walked into a thumping nightclub that was packed with 1,000 people who worked in the cannabis industry. It was crazy.

Cheech Marin (from Cheech and Chong) was rumored to be somewhere in the crowd, but I never saw the guy, but two of my team members got a picture with Afroman who ended up playing a concert to close out the night. A little later, the award ceremony started, with speeches and applause exactly like you’d expect, and we ended up taking home two trophies, one for our Caviar, and one for our Lebanese Hash. Isn’t that insane? Not that long ago, we’d be locked up for making hash and distributing it across Colorado, but now, we get to walk onto a stage, shake hands with the guy holding a microphone, and then hold our trophies high as a crowd of 1,000 marijuana professionals cheer our accomplishment. It was one hell of a day.

To back up a bit, “caviar” is marijuana flower that has been coated in hash oil and kief, and Lebanese Hash is an old-school concentrate that’s made from pressed kief, just like the stuff that was smuggled into the States way-back-when. And I’m not just talking about this stuff because of the two new trophies that are sitting in our Durango dispensary; you can also buy our hash, and if you’re in Durango, you’ll need to come to us because we’re the only people in town selling it. Just be prepared to hear us call our hash “award-winning,” because we now have a couple trophies to prove that we really are Your Best Buds!

Ordering Marijuana Online

Posted on April 20, 2019 - 9:00 am

Just to be clear, you cannot order marijuana from us online and have it shipped to you. About one out of every five calls that comes into our Durango dispensary is from someone who wants me to ship pot, but if I said “yes,” I’d have to start writing these things from jail. And in an odd little twist, the product we get shipping requests for the most is the Foria Pleasure (it’s a sex spray). I’ve gotten calls from old-lady book clubs in New York and lonely men in South Africa looking to have this stuff shipped, and I had to tell them all the same thing I told you in the first sentence (but it’s much more comfortable this way). But now that we’ve gotten that disclaimer out of the way, there’s something new and exciting I need to tell you: from now on, you’ll be able to make online orders that we can get ready and set aside for you to pick up later. For real, to do it, just click HERE.

Isn’t that crazy? People come in everyday with mind-blown looks on their faces because buying legal weed is still novel to them. I’ve become desensitized to it for obvious reasons, but when something new like online ordering comes along, it makes me remember how odd this whole thing can be. Think about it: you can peruse our menu online while you’re half-dressed on your couch and click the things you want. When you place an order, a little receipt machine that sits behind me spits out your order, and I grab it before running in the back with a paper bag. I fill your order, send you a nifty little message saying it’s ready, and then you come in to pick it up (after putting on pants).

But please, remember your purchasing limits, because the system will let you order as much as you want, but you can only buy so much. The easiest way to think about it is that you’re allowed 8 pieces of pie, and an eighth of flower, or 1 gram of concentrate, or 100mg worth of an edible counts as one piece. So, hypothetically, you could order a half-ounce of pot, 2 grams of hash, and two edible packs and be good to go. Get it? That being said, our online ordering platform allows us to communicate with you via text, so if you put too much in your cart, we’ll let you know. And if for some weird reason, we run out of something you want, we can chat and offer you alternatives, all through texts. Isn’t that crazy-awesome?

So yeah… that’s everything you need to know about online marijuana ordering from our Durango dispensary. This is where I’d usually say something like “come on down to The Greenery to see our awesome selection,” but today, I’m going to tell you to do it from your couch to avoid the lines. So, click HERE, pick out want you want, put it in your cart, and then come see us, because if you’re an online shopper, We’re Your Best Buds, too!

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