Skip to main content

Foria

Foria, Foria Pleausre, Foria Relief

There’s no such thing as a comfortable conversation about suppositories. Well, not usually, anyway, but you and I are going to have one right now; the buffering shield of anonymity protects us both from embarrassment. And for the record, I know you clicked the “yes, I’m twenty-one” tab to enter this site, so we’re going to talk about this like grownups. Anyway, here we go…

The Greenery is now offering two new marijuana infused products, both of which are produced by Foria, specifically “Pleasure” and “Relief.” The first comes in a 5 milliliter spray bottle that delivers 2.5 milligrams per application—here comes the adult part: the suggested use is to spray one dose “directly onto the clitoris, inner and outer labia, and inside the vagina.” You’ll need to allow up to fifteen minutes for Pleasure to take effect, and this product isn’t approved for use with latex condoms, but other than that, there’s not much you need to know. Women who’ve used this product say that Pleasure enables better, multiple orgasms that’re easier to access, and that Pleasure may help with improved, natural lubrication. Of course, since this product delivers THC, it may also bring with it the classical effects associated with marijuana: deep-body relaxation, a sound night’s sleep, and for some, a slight high. And if you think about it, a product like this makes sense. Cannabis products have been known to increase blood flow, and that’s the main prerequisite for sexual pleasure. The Greenery is offering Pleasure for $25 before tax per bottle, and if you’d like more information, just go to www.foriapleasure.com.

See? We made it through that wonderfully. Neither one of us giggled, which proves that we’re mature enough to move on to the vaginal suppository.

Look, I know that last sentence ended with a jarring pair of words, but it is what it is, and this product might bring some real relief to women who need it, so it’s worth discussion. And Foria’s Relief  is all over the internet, so much so that it has earned the somewhat misleading nickname of “weed tampon,” so it’s important that we dispel any of the misconceptions associated with this product before you walk in our door; Relief is in fact not a tampon. Also, these posts are pretty short, so after you’ve read what we have to say about it, we’d recommend going to Relief’s FAQ page here for further information.

In short, each package of Relief (which we’re selling for $25 before tax) includes two suppositories; each one contains 10 milligrams of THC and 60 milligrams of CBD. Women who’ve tried this product have reported “a significant decrease in the pain and discomfort often associated with menstruation,” per Foria’s testimonies. The THC may help via the nervous system by blocking pain signals and boosting pleasure, and the CBD may help with inflammation and cramps. Also, given the 10 milligrams of THC per dose, it’s possible that users might experience a high, but Foria has this product listed as “non-psychoactive,” so results may vary. The science makes sense, and the only other ingredient in each suppository is organic cocoa butter, so we at The Greenery think that Relief is a worthy addition to our menu, but it’s always prudent to consult your physician before trying a product such as Relief.

And that’s it; we’re done. I typed out five-hundred words that’d make me blush and break eye-contact in the real world, and you sat where you’re sitting and read about The Greenery’s newest products in privacy. However, I know that reading about a product and actually buying it are two completely different things; you might still harbor a touch of trepidation about coming into our store and ordering one of these products from a stranger with a straight face. So, I have a suggestion: use our convenient call-ahead service. Just give us a shout at (970) 403-3710 and tell us what you’d like to try. We’ll put some Pleasure in a white paper bag, or some Relief, if you’d prefer, and we’ll set aside your order discreetly—we’ll write your first name on the bag, and nothing more. Tell us your name when you come in, we’ll ring up your order without making a big deal out if it, and then you can go on your way comfortably.

Or, if this is how you roll, just come in, walk up to the register, and tell us what you want loud and proud. Ask us questions, if you have any after reading this, and we’ll answer them accurately and seriously. After all, we’re profesionals, and that’s how we’ll treat you, because that’s what you’ve come to expect from your best buds.

-The Greenery

Floria Pleasure, The Greenery, Recreational Marijuana  Foria Relief, The Greenery

Legal Marijuana, and Homelessness

Greenery Grown hand-crafted cannabis

I’ve never met Joseph Kolb, or anybody else from Fox News for that matter, but I’d like to. I’m pretty good at explaining things to people, especially matters of simple logic, and Mr. Kolb needs a lesson of sorts. Recently, he wrote an article for Fox News titled “Legalized marijuana turns Colorado resort town into homeless magnet,” and once I realized I was reading a nationally syndicated column as opposed to a tabloid, my smile turned upside-down. You can read it here, if you’re interested, but I’ll sum it up for you: Kolb was talking about our town, Durango, Colorado, and for twenty-two paragraphs, he wrote nonsense ad nauseam. This myopic man seriously thinks that legalized marijuana is ruining our town by luring in the homeless, even though from an objective point of view, things look a little differently. Let me explain.

It’s a logical fallacy of the worst order to tie two things together without researching the connection. As an example, I stubbed my toe when I got out of bed this morning, and at the same time, the sun was popping up above the horizon. But when I told my wife about it, I didn’t say “honey, I stubbed my toe when the sun came up today, ergo, solar radiation is making me clumsy,” because such an assertion would be asinine gibberish.

Basically, Kolb took two unrelated facts and tied them together with no regard for journalistic integrity whatsoever. True, the legalization of recreational marijuana came to our town in 2014, and our homeless population started booming around the same time, but the two occurrences are unrelated. In 2014, the ACLU sent a letter to Durango’s city council wherein they threatened to sue if our local police kept enforcing our “anti-loitering” ordinance. According to the ACLU, it’s an infringement of free speech to stop homeless people from panhandling, because when they write “anything helps” on a piece of cardboard, they’re exercising a constitutional right… seems legit. Anyway, the cops stopped herding the homeless away from Main Avenue because the ACLU isn’t an organization to take lightly. The homeless people in this town took note, they told their friends, and the rest is self-explanatory.

Our town is beautiful. We have a narrow-gauge railroad straight out of antiquity; we have world-class skiing in the winter; we have an ever-adapting whitewater course on the Animas River that runs through this town like an artery. We have abundant camping spaces and temperate weather and affluent locals. We have bars and comfortable park benches and a generous homeless shelter. And most importantly, we have cops who won’t bother you if you want to dress in a sleeping bag and stand on Main Street with your hand out.

That’s why our homeless population is booming—it has nothing to do with legal pot, and people who think otherwise are subscribing to old-think. These are the same fools who watched “Reefer Madness” and took it as gospel—these are the same people who rallied against legalized marijuana, and now that they’ve lost, they’re grasping for straws and doing their damnedest to find an “I told you so” buried somewhere amongst all the positive results stemming from decriminalization. And as a professional in the marijuana industry, my frustration is palpable.

I sell pot for a living, and I can tell you from personal experience that our clients come from all walks of life. I’ve served giddy college seniors, bubbling about the fact that they just turned twenty-one. I’ve served sweet old ladies, smiling like my grandmother, who’re happy to get carded because octogenarians have forgotten what it feels like. I’ve served people who’re just as broke as I am, and I once served a man wearing a watch worth more than my education. These people hold down jobs and pay taxes and care for their families just like Americans are supposed to. And unfortunately, people like Kolb can’t see these things because they write about our town from far away, looking at us through a tinted telescope of assumption. They tie to legalized marijuana unfair and negative “facts” because people like Kolb harbor a personal prejudice against legal pot, and at times, it seems as if no amount of factual evidence can dilute their bias. It’s unfortunate, but I guess it’s just part of the game.

All I can do is tell you this: here at The Greenery, we know that legal marijuana is a good thing, and we take our jobs seriously. We have to—we’re stewards of an industry facing a good deal of ignorant skepticism. We run a clean and legal operation, and our attention to regulation compliance borders on the obsessive. And for as long as we’re around, we’ll do our best to educate our customers and our community vis-à-vis the truth about legal marijuana, so please, keep checking in, and as always, if you have any questions, call your Best Buds at (970) 403-3710. Thank you.

Discretion

The Greenery checks age requirements in Colorado

Marijuana is perfectly legal for recreational use in Colorado, and frankly, it should be. Pot is a plant that grows out of the ground, and if you light it on fire and breathe in the smoke, it makes you feel good. For many, it’s a medicine—one that doesn’t bring with it the crippling side effects commonly associated with traditional pharmaceuticals—and medicine should be legal. It’s a simple truth, one that’s axiomatic to those of us who know the difference between right and wrong, and that’s why I support legalized marijuana; that’s why I’ve chosen to work in this industry.

However, I also understand that not everybody feels this way. Plenty of people still think that pot is a problem. They look at that plant and see a vice that needs to be eradicated, and they subscribe to the antiquated paradigm that kept marijuana illegal for decades. Some people fear change; that’s just the way it is. So, occasionally, discretion is necessary.

I’m one of the fortunate few who can be who I am both at work and in my personal life because my coworkers, friends, and family all have modern views regarding marijuana. In short, I don’t have to hide the fact that I smoke pot—hell, I’m pretty loud about it sometimes. But you might not have that luxury, and here at The Greenery, we understand, and we offer a level of discretion you won’t find at other dispensaries.

For one, we have a discreet location. We’re nestled in at 208 Parker Avenue, right behind Morehart Murphy. We’re close enough to be convenient, but far enough away to keep things comfortable. When you leave our shop, you won’t have to run that downtown gamut where it seems like you recognize everyone around you on the street. You won’t have to walk down a long alley carrying a bag full of marijuana back to your car parked on Main; you won’t have to feed a meter. We’re open early and we close late, and you can come and go with a level of privacy not offered elsewhere. But that’s not the most important part: here at The Greenery, we don’t track your purchases.

I’ll admit that I shopped around at other dispensaries before I worked at The Greenery. I was a creature of habit, and I didn’t stray far from my home when I went shopping, be it for groceries or marijuana; I usually stayed on the north-side of town for convenience. And it didn’t really bother me that the other dispensaries tracked my purchases (you know, because I’m “loud about it”), but in retrospect, the practice is a little sketchy.

I’m sure you’ve noticed it. Most dispensaries will swipe your ID when you walk in to make sure you’re twenty-one. One place even has a metal turnstile that opens only after you’ve swiped your card, in case you’ve ever wondered what it’d be like to get carded by a robot. But guess what: every time your ID is swiped, the machine keeps a record of your visit. So here at the Greenery, we take the time to read your ID by hand. Granted, it might take us a little longer because we have to check diligently your picture and your birthdate and your card’s expiration date, but that’s something we do for you because it’s your business if you buy marijuana, and nobody else’s.

Secondly, we don’t track your purchases at the register. True, we have a loyalty program—an awesome one that I’ll tell you about in a different post—but we use punch cards instead of an electronic system. There’re other dispensaries here in Durango that keep track of every single purchase you make, and they do so via a computer database that’s just as vulnerable to hacking as all the other systems in this inescapable digital age. With the click of a mouse, anyone who cares to look can find a record of all the marijuana you’ve purchased, and considering the fact that federal laws haven’t yet caught up to our local ones, some people prefer the discretion offered here at The Durango Greenery.

So, come see us, your best buds. Come find a place in our parking lot and walk through our front door. Someone will check your ID with a smile and then give it back without recording your visit. We’ll sell so you some ridiculously good pot, and then you can go on your way, legally, rightfully, and discreetly. Cheers.

We’re Your Best Buds!

Marijuana Vape Pens

Open Vape Marijuana, The Greenery, Durango

I’m old, or at least it feels that way when I walk into a marijuana dispensary. When I was a kid, pot was a plant you lit on fire, and that’s about it. We’d hear stories about exotic sounding hash or kief, but we could never get our hands on it, and “pot brownies” were a rare luxury. But now, I’m a budtender at The Greenery here in Durango, and things have changed dramatically.

It seems as if there’s no limit to the variety of ways one can consume marijuana—we sell every imaginable sort of edible, from caramel-coated lollypop to THC infused root beer, and we have on our shelves a veritable panoply of concentrates ranging from simple hash to carbon-dioxide-extracted live resin. And as a newcomer entering into this industry with not much more than the memories I brought from my misspent youth, it was all a little overwhelming the first time I stepped behind the counter; I can’t imagine what it might feel like to a first-time customer.

However, The Greenery is different from the other local dispensaries for one simple reason: our knowledgeable, friendly staff. As a new employee, I’ve been testing the depths of their collective knowledge with my incessant questions, and on a daily basis, our budtenders have been thoroughly impressive. These young men and women have been able to answer all my questions in a way that doesn’t leave me guessing, and I’ve seen them extend the same professional courtesy to every new customer who walks through our door. But just in case you haven’t yet visited our dispensary, I’d like to share one of my favorite new discoveries with you: the O.pen disposable vape pen.

As I alluded to earlier, until recently, I’ve only smoked flower or enjoyed the occasional edible; I’ve never ventured into the world of concentrates because I was a little ignorant. So, for my first experiment, I asked Clay (one of The Greenery’s friendly budtenders) about the easiest way a newbie such as myself could try hash oil. In case you’re just as ignorant as I was, “hash oil” is a concentrate made by extracting with carbon dioxide all the wonderful cannabinoids that live in marijuana plant matter (hash oil is most commonly enjoyed through a vaporizer similar to an e-cigarette).

Clay told me all of this and I’m sure my eyes glazed over a bit because he slowed down and started showing me all the options, the simplest of which was the O.pen disposable vape pen I mentioned earlier. Basically, the disposable vape pens we sell at The Greenery come preloaded with one-hundred milligrams of hash oil. Each one is about the size of a cigarette, and all you do is take the vape pen out of its child-resistant packaging and take a puff. It’s that simple. Each eight-second puff contains about two milligrams of THC, and each disposable pen contains roughly fifty puffs worth of concentrate; once it’s empty, you simply throw away the vape pen and move on with life. These pens are discrete and convenient and affordable; we sell three varieties (indica, sativa, and hybrid) for $25 each before tax.

Frankly, after I bought and tried my first vape pen, I felt like a fool for waiting so long. These things really are as convenient and discrete as they’re advertised to be, and the effect was perfect. My wife said the vapor smelled nothing like marijuana, but the high was one of the cleanest and quickest I’ve ever experienced. The only drawback I noticed was the fact that if I turned the pen upside-down, some of the oil leaked out of the mouthpiece, but Clay warned me about the possibility and I left The Greenery fully educated vis-à-vis the new product I was about to try. It was a perfect experience, one that was both easy and comfortable, and I’d recommend it to anyone interested in branching out.

And that’s all I have for this post. Please, if you’re like me—a creature of habit who’s stuck to the same way of smoking for years—come down to The Greenery, even if it’s just to ask questions. We’d love to show you all the new things that’re coming on the market monthly, because we’re your best buds.