marijuana dispensary Archives | Page 12 of 16

Posted on May 12, 2018 - 9:00 am

durango, dispensary, durango dispensary, marijuana, durango marijuana, hash, colorado hash, dispensary deals

I love Taco Tuesday. Actually, in the year 2020, Cinco De Mayo falls on a Taco Tuesday, and my calendar is already marked because that day is gunna be epic. But if I’m being honest, I think I like “Taco Tuesday” for the two “tee” sounds instead of the “taco” or the “Tuesday” part, because I’m not really a fan of either one when they’re apart.

But I digress…

My point here is that most day-specific deals are fun because the alliteration makes them sound so cool: we sell a half-priced gram on “Marvelous Monday” when you buy one at full price; “Waxy Wednesday” gets you fifteen percent off shatter and a few other products; “Thankful Thursday” lets you pick any one item to discount by fifteen percent. See what I mean? They’re catchy and fun and easy to remember, just like the rest of our daily deals that you can read about HERE.

However, the weekends have been neglected by The Greenery, and we apologize. Saturdays and Sundays have always been crazy enough given that our cannabis really is the best in town, so we’ve been afraid to add to the mayhem by throwing a discount into the mix. But you know what? Our Hash Factory makes solventless hashes, Saturday is a perfect day to smoke said hashes, and “Solventless Saturday” sounds super-cool thanks to all the susurrations. I might even like it better than taco Tuesday, but that kind of decision takes time to make.

Anyway, as of today (5/12/18), The Greenery will be selling our house-made solventless concentrates for fifteen percent off, and we’ll do so every Saturday because the weekends deserve discounts too, as does anyone who appreciates the purity of a traditional hash. And just in case you don’t know what qualifies as a true “solventless” hash, here’s the list:

Lebanese Hash. This stuff is usually blonde, but that doesn’t matter because it’s the best. We squeeze freakishly-potent kief in a twelve-ton press until it starts to goo together, and then we cut it up and sell it by the gram. A Lebanese Hash high is my favorite because it feels like that first-time high from way-back-when, and it feels like it every time.
Moroccan Hash. We bake our kief to make this one, but I’m not going to tell you how we do it because that’s super-secret stuff (read all about it HERE). The hand-rolled balls of Moroccan we sell at our Durango dispensary are dark and deep, just like a storied hash should be.
Kief Brick. This is the simplest, unadulterated hash on the market, and the taste is like standing in a wind-swept field of cannabis (I might’ve been stretching a bit on that one, but I promise there’s no purer way to add flavor and potency to a bowl than with a dusting of Kief Brick).
Rosin. We make ours with kief instead of flower, so it’s potent. Yes, the taste is robust and the high is insane, but you can handle it. This is the only dabbable concentrate that’s included in our Saturday special, but that’s because Rosin is the only true solventless hash you can dab.
Bubble Hash. All it takes to make bubble hash correctly is a little ice-water, some of the best cannabis on earth, and a few months of trial and error, so don’t try this at home—our Bubble Hash is agitated and strained and cured, and that’s not the type of thing that should be left to amateurs.

I swear to you that the five hashes we’re discounting this Saturday and every Saturday are some of the best products available anywhere. In fact, the hashes we make are so good that they’re sold in about ten percent of all the dispensaries in Colorado, and it only took us a few months on the wholesale market to get there (seriously, look at our map HERE). Isn’t that awesome? Now you can buy some of the best hash in the world directly from the people who make it, and you can do so right here in this tiny mountain town for a price that’s better than you’ll find anywhere else.

So, come see Your Best Buds at our Durango dispensary on 208 Parker Avenue this Saturday for our solventless special. We’re open from ten to nine-thirty, and our hash will be discounted all day just for you, which is way better than tacos on Tuesday, now that I think about it.

Who smokes marijuana?

Posted on May 5, 2018 - 9:00 am

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The short answer: everybody. I’ve seen all types of people walk into our dispensary, and I’ve written about it before, but for some reason, the archetypical stoner stigma still exists. It’s frustrating. We’re not all lazy losers or burnt-out pot heads in much the same way that people who shop at the corner liquor store aren’t all comical drunks. But hey, marijuana has only been legal for a few years, so I get why the misconception lingers.

The last time I tried to make this point in writing, all I had to back me up was my opinion (which is far from gospel), but now, the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment released THIS study, and it proves my point. Basically, they polled over ten thousand Coloradan adults and found that 14.6% of them used cannabis currently, and then they asked follow-up questions to find out exactly who these “stoners” were.

But first, here’s the demographical breakdown of the 10,169 people who were interviewed:

Male: 5,138
Female: 5,031

Age 18-25: 625
Age 26-34: 1,251
Age 35+: 8,187

White: 7,823
Black: 259
Hispanic: 270
Multiracial: 1,416
Other: 194

Alright… now here’s the good part: the part proving that people who smoke pot didn’t list “sitting on the couch” as their profession. Here’s what we “stoners” do for a living:

Accommodation and Food Services: 30.1%

Administration, Support, Waste Management, and Remediation Services: 18.8%

Agriculture, Forestry, Fishing/Hunting: 14.4%

Arts, Entertainment, and Recreation: 28.3%

Construction: 19.7%

Education: 5.8%

Finance and Insurance: 13.5%

Health Care and Social Assistance: 7.4%

Information: 18.2%

Management of Companies and Enterprises: 13.1%

Manufacturing: 16.3%

Mining, Oil and Gas: 5.2%

Other: 20.9%

Professional, Scientific, Technical Services: 14%

Public Administration: 5.8%

Real Estate, Rent, Lease: 19.6%

Retail Trade: 18.9%

Transport and Warehousing: 10.2%

Utilities: 5.8%

Wholesale Trade: 11.4%

See?! We “stoners” are actually doctors and teachers, bosses and entrepreneurs, scientists and blue-collar workers, and we don’t deserve the stigma that we’ve earned thanks to close to a century of misinformation. And who knows what those “other” people from the list do for a living? They could be politicians or even closeted preachers who prefer natural drugs to the pharmaceutical kind, and it’s time that we forget the nonsense that pops into our heads when we hear the “stoner” label.

So, if you’ve been sheepish about trying cannabis, step out of the shadows and come see Your Best Buds at the finest Durango dispensary for dispelling stigmas: The Greenery at 208 Parker Avenue. We’ll help you find the best product for your needs, and together, we’ll help bring safe and legal cannabis into the mainstream where it belongs!

April’s Best Bud of the Month

Posted on April 21, 2018 - 9:00 am

durango, colorado, marijuana, durango dispensary, durango dispensaries, durango marijuana, the greenery

Chris Romero
Budtender Extraordinaire

About your Best Bud:

Chris Romero is a family man. His thoughts and conversations are always about his eighteen-months-old son, Julian, and his wife, Stephanie. And they’re both delightful—Stephanie and Julian came to our last company function and did their best to smile while everyone else took tequila shots, and they became part of our Greenery family as if it were meant to be. And frankly, we love that; it’s wonderful to see young professionals like Chris jump into this industry to support a family life.

But you might not know Chris because he’s one of the newer people tending bud behind our counter (he’s the tall guy with a quick laugh and an easy smile), so this week, we thought you should meet him:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Chris. “December thirteenth of last year.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Chris. “I like dabs because nothing else compares, and Live Resin is the best. It gives you a clean high with a wonderful flavor.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Chris. “Playing with my son.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Chris. “I have five dogs, two cats, and a kid… we decided to be those type of people.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Chris. “Typically, it’s Gorillaz, but sometimes, I go for the harder stuff.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Chris. “I love everything about working here. I love the weed, I love the people, and actually, I shopped here for three years before hiring on.”

See? If the Greenery has always been Chris’s choice for marijuana in Durango, he understands quality, so it was an obvious choice for him to apply, and an obvious choice for us to hire him. But just because he’s new to The Greenery doesn’t mean he’s new to this town—Chris owns the house he grew up in, and his native-born Durangoan status makes a lot of us look like newcomers, much like he might look to you if you’ve been in recently and met the “new guy.”

Either way, we’re lucky to have him. He stands behind the counter with the confidence of someone who understands cannabis, and with the purpose of someone who’s doing this all for a reason, and because of that, Chris Romero is your Best Bud of the Month for April; thank you Chris!

PAX Era in Durango

Posted on March 31, 2018 - 9:00 am

The road is a strange place. It’s liminal, neither here nor there, and time morphs when I travel. So, I turn to the radio, and it always disappoints.

You’d think good songs would make it through the ether in the wide-open places, but it’s mostly static. I’ll click the seek button and watch the green digits cycle in a loop, and when nothing comes in, I feel lost. Stretches without reception feel desolate, alien, hostile, and I’ll speed up a little until something comes through. And when my radio finally finds something in the void, the station is usually old and stale: mariachi music, a sermon of some sort, or classical symphonies. I’ll land on the latter and leave it, doing my best to pretend like I appreciate Mozart, and then I’ll drive through the backwoods of Colorado waiting for something better, clicking the seek button whenever the violins get annoying, listening for something familiar the way I look for landmarks.

Granted, satellite radio is an option, but that’s just more of the same stuff I listen to while I’m at home, and it’s best to leave behind the familiar while traveling. Sure, some music is impossible to escape—that “here I go again” song by Whitesnake always comes on at least once during every trip, making me think about fog machines and women with big hair sitting on expensive cars—but without fail, I’ll hear something new, or learn something new thanks to NPR, and that’s the best part: novelty.

Know what I mean? I travel to hear and see new things, and I think it’s the same for all of us. However, that’s not to say there aren’t a few familiar things that come with me on every trip: my cowboy boots, my vintage North Face backpack, and marijuana. Fun, right? But marijuana isn’t exactly travel-friendly, if you know what I mean—the stuff stinks, so I usually bring edibles and my vaporizer, which is also something novel.

It still blows me away that we have marijuana vaporizers nowadays, because the word “vaporizer” sounds super futuristic, like “ray-gun” or “teleporter.” But they’re here now and they’re awesome. I’m in Boulder right now, doing my best to spread the word about The Greenery Hash Factory’s ridiculously good solventless concentrates, and I brought my PAX Era with me, which I love so much that it’s about to become just as necessary as my lucky backpack. And we just started selling PAX Pods and PAX Era batteries at our Durango dispensary, The Greenery, so this week, I figured I should tell you about them.

The vape pens most people are used to have a threaded cartridge that screws onto the battery, but the PAX Era is different in that you just plug the cartridge into the top, no righty-tighty necessary. And most vaporizers use a single ceramic element or a wick to heat the oil, but the PAX system uses two wicks which means you can make the hits twice as strong as usual (if you’re in to that sort of thing). But the best part about the PAX system is the smart battery.

Yes, “they” have officially made a Bluetooth smart-battery for smoking marijuana. There’s even an app you can download for your phone that’ll connect to these batteries, and it’ll allow you to adjust your vape-pen’s temperature remotely, track the number of hits you get per pod, and lock your battery with the push of a button. Isn’t that crazy? That means you can take a hit from your vape pen, lock it with your smartphone, and then leave your PAX Era out on the coffee table. Your kids or your roommates (or anyone else who can’t see the line between “mine” and “yours”) won’t be able to pick it up and smoke when you’re not looking. It’s insane how far we’ve come technologically speaking in this industry in such a short period of time.

But I’ll admit, the PAX Era is a little tricky to figure out in the beginning, so here’re the answers to the two most common questions I get in our shop about how to use the PAX system:

Q: How do I know if my battery is charged?

A: Most batteries come with a partial charge, but to check it, all you need to do is shake your PAX battery. The petals on the front will light up: one lighted petal means your battery is almost dead, and four means it’s charged completely. If you see only one lighted petal when you shake the battery, plug it in with the provided USB charger and let it sit for about an hour.

Q: I’m getting weak hits, so how do I change my pen’s temperature?

A: Most people use the smartphone app, but it isn’t necessary. Just follow these steps:

1.) Insert the PAX Pod into the top of your battery and then give your pen a shake; the petals will light up.

2.) As soon as the petals light up, quickly remove the pod. The petals will start cycling through the temperature settings.

3.) As soon as the petals display the temperature setting you want, quickly put the pod back into the battery to lock in the temperature setting (the setting colors are listed in the pamphlet that comes with every battery).

And frankly, that’s all you need to know. As soon as you master the battery check and temperature change, the PAX Era vape pen is one of the most reliable, user-friendly systems available—there isn’t even a button to press when you’re using your vape pen because these things are automatically activated when you start to inhale. I couldn’t be more impressed.

At The Greenery, our Durango dispensary, we’re selling the PAX Era batteries for $30 before tax (which is a damn good deal), and we’re selling the double-wick pods for $55 before tax. Each pod contains 500mg of concentrate (Sativa oil, Indica oil, or distillate). And if you’d like to learn more about the PAX Era or see a demonstration as to how they work, simply come see Your Best Buds at 208 Parker Avenue, and we’ll show you something new for the next time you go down the only road you’ve ever known (Whitesnake!).

March’s Best Bud of the Month

Posted on March 17, 2018 - 9:00 am

Sloane Burdick
Manufacturing Lead (Supreme Commander of Hash)

About your Best Bud:

Sloane is the funny one. Or maybe Sloane is the artsy one, or the wild one, the fun one. Or maybe Sloane is the cool one, the one who’s real, albeit a little unfettered. Or maybe Sloane can’t really be classified as “this” or “that” one, like most people walking the streets. Know what I mean?

Picture all your friends standing in a field. Now pick out “the dumb one.” How long did that take you? A millisecond? It was easy for you because people like to pigeonhole other people. That’s what we do; we’re natural-born categorizers.

But Sloane doesn’t really fit into any of those pigeonholes. She takes up four or five of them with her complexity, with the depth of her personality, and to interview her was a delight:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Sloane. “November of 2015.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Sloane. “I love Strawberry Cough in the bong. I love the glass and the cold water, and the way it makes the smoke cleaner.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Sloane. “Taking pictures when I’m in my car or when I’m hiking. Or riding my cruiser ‘Pinkie Tuscadero.’ You know, like the character from Happy Days. It’s got hot-pink wheels and grips.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Sloane. “I have an evil kitty named Betty Beans, aka ‘B.B. McFuzz Pants,’ because who doesn’t give their animals multiple names?”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Sloane. “We use YouTube for music. And really, I should be honest: mostly, I listen to Sturgill Simpson. It’s a problem.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Sloane. “I love normalizing the world of cannabis. I’m a single mom in my forties, and I make hash for a living. I’m making this life normal, just as it should be.”

These interviews always get awkward right at the end. It’s important to include a story about the interviewee, something anecdotal that’ll help you get to know a team member here at The Greenery. But it’s a difficult question to answer when you’re on the spot:

Q. Would you share with us a story that’ll forever immortalize you on the internet? Something interesting that’ll pretty much define you as a human being? Something that’ll be read by all your coworkers and friends and the government, because you know they’re watching, right?
Sloane. “Um… there are lots of stories,” her laugh sounded like experience, “but one time, the school bus stopped to pick me up when I was almost forty. I told the guy I was on my way to work, but he thought I was a teen. He drove away, and I could see all the kids through their windows. They were laughing and watching me as their heads turned while the bus drove away.”

Most of us know for a fact that the school-bus story doesn’t define Sloane (there’re much better ones, like the one with the Scottish people or the one that ends with a lot of laughs, like most of them do), but the fact she chose this particular story says a lot. It’s a slice, a little snippet of Sloane’s hilarity that says something about her rather than about what happened to her, and that’s just cool.

***

To the people who don’t work in this Durango dispensary, Sloane is the woman who makes Moroccan Hash for The Greenery Hash Factory, along with a whole slue of other exotic concentrates. But to us, she’s part of this company, part of it’s soul, and even though Sloane doesn’t fit into a pigeonhole, she fits in here. And that’s why Sloane Burdick is your Durango dispensary Best Bud of the Month for March; congratulations Sloane!

Make sure to check out Sloane’s artwork HERE!

Crystalline in Durango

Posted on March 10, 2018 - 9:00 am

It was only a matter of time before the nerds got into this industry. I say that affectionately, of course, because smart people always make things better, but we’ve crossed a barrier of sorts. Just a few years ago, any of us could’ve made all the marijuana concentrates on the market in our basements if we wanted to, so long as we had WiFi, but that’s not the case with crystalline.

I’m just gunna plow through all the technical stuff to get it out of the way: to make crystalline, a source concentrate such as high-potency live resin is mixed with hexane and acetic acid. Once everything has emulsified, the solution is filtered, and then put through a rotary evaporator (just like the one Luke Skywalker used on his home planet). The centrifugal force separates the delta-nine THCa from the other compounds, and then a chemical bath is used to purify the THCa further, which brings the potency close to the 99.9% mark.

See? Can you do that in your basement, even now after I’ve given you the instructions? I can’t. And that’s what happens when the nerds get involved. We get things like vape pens and THC inhalers and 99% pure THCa. This concentrate comes in crystals, some as big and clear as the diamonds on rich-people wedding rings, but there’s a drawback: there’s no flavor. Crystalline diamonds give you a mind-bending high, but you don’t get the complexity that comes from a full-spectrum extract, like a solventless hash.

So, the nerds stepped it up and started mixing itty-bitty THCa diamonds with full-spectrum terpene sauce to make FSE Crystalline THCa, which is what we just started selling at The Greenery, a Durango dispensary.

You should try it.

The high is like a shatter high, but higher, stratospheric. And the flavor is better than all the other BHO products, thanks to the sauce. It’s clean like a craft oil but potent like a distillate, and I’m pretty sure the nerds have outdone themselves, because there’s nothing better than FSE crystalline on the new-school side of cannabis concentrates. We sell out of this stuff quickly, so keep checking our menu for availability, and then come see Your Best Buds at our Durango dispensary on Parker Avenue if you’re looking for something new.

The Closest Durango Dispensary to Farmington

Posted on March 3, 2018 - 9:00 am

I lived in Farmington for seven years and I know about all the wonderful things you guys have hidden down there. I know about all the hole-in-the-wall meat markets that sell authentic Mexican ingredients. I know about all the spectacular trails that crisscross the desert like sandy latticework throughout Chokecherry Canyon. I know about your sweltering summer days and your mild winter nights and your hard-working blue-collar culture, but unfortunately, I also know that for you, recreational marijuana is illegal.

Here in Durango, Colorado, we can smoke pot all we want because we’re just a little bit closer to the freedom we sing about before football games. And someday, New Mexico will be there too. You’ll have dispensaries and sensible laws, and if we wanted to, Durango and Farmington could pass blunts back and forth across the border. But you’re not there yet, so for now, you need to visit Colorado to purchase marijuana legally.

The Durango Greenery is the closest dispensary to Farmington, or any of northwest New Mexico for that matter, and we appreciate our customers from the south. Your business matters. We’ll give you the same loyalty card we give locals and we’ll treat you as if you were our next-door neighbor, because if you think about it, the hour-long drive that separates us doesn’t mean much—we’re just human beings who share a river and a fondness for marijuana.

So, come see us. We’re located at 208 Parker Avenue in Durango, Colorado, just north of the border, and if you need directions, simply call us at (970) 403-3710. We’ll tell you to head north on Highway 550 and once you cross the Animas River, take a right onto E Turner Dr. passing by the movie theater, then take a right to wrap under 550 and onto the Frontage Rd. Make a left on Turner at Morehart Murphy Chevrolet. Next, take a left on Parker Ave, and then drive to the cul-de-sac at the end. There’s no way you’ll be able to miss our signs and flagging, and we have plenty of discrete parking. We’re open nightly until nine-thirty (except on Sundays when we close at seven), and we’ll be waiting right here for our friends from the south, because We’re Your Best Buds too.

*Please remember that under current law, it is illegal to leave Colorado with any marijuana products.* So stay awhile!

Rosin in Durango

Posted on February 24, 2018 - 9:00 am

There are two types of people in this world: people who love Bon Jovi, and people who pretend like they don’t. I’ve done research, and this fact is all-the-way true. And when you think about it, humans are split down the middle when it comes to just about everything—some people like going out, some people like staying in; some people prefer skis, some people prefer boards; some people like mustard, and some people have really bad taste. Know what I mean? And it’s no different when it comes to marijuana concentrates: people either smoke solventless concentrates like Rosin, or people smoke solvent-extracted concentrates, like wax or shatter.

According to Webster’s New World College Dictionary, the definition for “solvent” is “a thing that dissolves another thing” (I don’t own a dictionary). But when it comes to concentrate extraction in the cannabis industry, a solvent is usually a gas (like CO2 or butane) that’s pumped through a pressurized chamber to chemically strip the cannabinoids from flower. I know that sounds newfangled, but solvent-extracted concentrates have been around forever. If you soak marijuana in an alcohol bath, it’ll strip all the stuff that gets you high from the flower, and then if you let the alcohol evaporate, it’ll leave behind a wonderful gooey mess that you can smoke. This extract is a solvent-extracted concentrate because alcohol is a “thing that dissolves another thing.” Get it? I overheard my parents talking about this thirty years ago, and the practice is still going strong today, because alcohol-extracted THC is used to make plenty of the marijuana edibles on the market, like the Mountain High Suckers we sell in our shop.

But when it comes to one side or the other, I prefer solventless concentrates because they’ve been around much longer. These are the ones that are made the way they’ve always been made, and I’m talking about eons. I’m talking about the Berbers in Morocco who’ve been making hash for generations; I’m talking about the Lebanese tribes that’ve been pressing kief into blonde bricks throughout recorded history. I know it’ll sound pompous, but I like hashes with a story, and at The Greenery, that’s our specialty.

If you’re under thirty, don’t freak out—at The Greenery, we sell all the modern concentrates like wax and distillate, and I’m pretty sure we’re the only dispensary in town selling crystalline (which I’ll tell you about next week), so we have you hipsters covered. But I’m telling you, solventless concentrates are sublime. They have a flavor that evokes all sorts of tranquil thoughts (the kind that pair well with deep couches and maudlin music), and they’re nearly as potent as their solvent-extracted cousins. We have some Chemmy Jones Moroccan Hash in our arsenal right now that packs a 70% THC punch, and we’ve pressed some Rosin that broke the 90% barrier. I put some of the latter in my Cloud Mini and smoked it right before writing this, in case you can’t tell, and it made me realize that I’ve never told you about our Rosin, which is a travesty. So, here you go:

Rosin is made with nothing more than heat and pressure. Usually, flower is pressed pneumatically between two heated metal plates. The heat gets the cannabis oil flowing, and the pressure squeezes it out onto some parchment. Once the goo cools, it’s called “rosin” because it looks like the rosin violinists rub on their horsehair violin strings. If you were paying attention, you just learned two things. Sorry. Off track.

But at The Greenery Hash Factory, we do things a little differently. Instead of pressing flower, we press kief, which is all the dry-sieved trichomes that live on the flower’s surface. This stuff is potent and flavorful, and I’m pretty sure it’s the stuff Tinkerbelle kept in her bag. When we press kief to make our Dry-Sift Rosin, the goo that comes out looks decadent. It’s dark. When you smoke it, the taste is floral and deep, like the soil we use to grow our flower. It’s best in small doses, like the one that brought me here, and it’s flawless for the times when you need a little inspiration. Rosin is perfect for dabbing in Durango because it’s inline with our natural, earth-loving culture, and if you haven’t tried it, you should come see us. We’ll help you go down in a blaze of glory (we just came full-circle) with some of the most potent Rosin in town, because We’re Your Best Buds!

February’s Best Bud of the Month

Posted on February 17, 2018 - 9:00 am

Clay Siekman, aka ‘The Pot Whisperer’
Cultivation Plant Manager

About your Best Bud:

Clay is a pot whisperer. He hasn’t worked behind the counter for a while because he took over at our grow, but back in the day, people simply didn’t know how lucky they were when they bought pot from Clay. They’d come in, look at the ten strains on our menu for a minute, and then they’d say something like:

“Which one would you recommend?”

“Um, what type of high are you looking for?” Clay would ask. He’d always hold his chin between his thumb and forefinger like a detective, the other hand on his hip.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Clay would say, usually with a gesticulation or two, “are you looking for something relaxing? Something energetic?”

And this is where customers would mess up; they simply didn’t know they were talking to a pot whisperer who could tell them exactly what type of high came from each strain. Seriously, you should read this guy’s strain reviews—they’re precise and profound, almost like they were written by a sage who divined the essence of each strain with a spell of some sort.

If those customers would’ve realized who they were dealing with, they could’ve said something like, “I’d like a strain that goes well with old action movies on a Tuesday night,” or, “the left side of my head hurts and I want the perfect pot to pair with tacos.” And then Clay could’ve instantly suggested the most fitting strain available.

He really does know pot that well, but now, you should get to know him:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Clay. “October of 2016.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Clay. “I love bongs. And my favorite strain is Green Crack, which is wonderful because we’re growing it right now, and we should have it ready to sell in our dispensary in a few months. But if I had to pick an edible, it’d be the Coda coffee and donuts that we sell at the shop.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Clay. “Skiing, hiking, camping.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Clay. “I have a thirteen-years-old pug named Buddy. All he does is sleep and eat all day; he’s fat and old.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Clay. “Hip-hop jams!”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Clay. “I love the community that’s been built up around this industry. It’s great. I love being around likeminded people, both behind the counter and in front of it. Everyone who’s involved in this industry is incredible, and I love being a part of it.”

Frankly, this industry should love that Clay is a part of it, not the other way around, because the guy is a blessing. It took him about a year and a half to climb through our ranks, morphing from the shy kid behind the counter into the confident man running every aspect of our cultivation facility, and we’re just lucky he’s part of our brand.

And it’s not like a few of the regulars didn’t figure out that Clay was a pot whisperer, because after he left for greener pastures, people would come in and ask for him by name—they wondered where that “nice kid who gives good advice” went, and many of them missed the expert guidance he gave. Of course, his shoes were filled by other budtenders who are equally passionate about pot, and of course, we’d rather have Clay right where he is, whispering to our plants as they grow under his expert care. And that’s why Clay Siekman is Your Best Bud for February. Congratulations, Clay!

Weed and Romance

Posted on February 10, 2018 - 9:00 am

I have a Valentine’s Day story for you:

Nigel was a seabird who lived in New Zealand. He was a gannet, one of those streamlined white birds that looks like a seagull on steroids, and he was a hopeless romantic.

A couple decades ago, conservationists peppered a New Zealand beach with concrete decoys that looked just like Nigel, and when he flew by five years ago, he saw one that appeared particularly becoming. He landed, introduced himself to the decoy, built her a nest, and waited patiently for his stone-cold mate to lay an egg. The conservationists were ecstatic because they’d finally found success: gannets were eradicated from that beach years ago, and the concrete decoys were meant to lure in live birds; loudspeakers were even used to play gannet mating calls on loop.

But Nigel was the only bird who landed. No real birds came to live in his nest or give him an egg that might hatch. So, Nigel flew away, and the conservationists went home to wait for another season. And when it came, so did Nigel. He landed once more and made his way through the gamut of stone decoys, looking for his special lady, and when he found her, he reintroduced himself, built her a nest, and waited once more for his statuesque mate to lay an egg. She never did, so Nigel flew away again, gliding over the surf with still wings like seabirds do.

This went on for five years. Nigel would land and look, introduce and build. He’d even preen his girlfriend’s feathers, doing his best to remove the dirt that’d accumulated on his sedentary best friend. You see, gannets mate for life, staying true to just one bird forever because that’s the way it works best for them, so Nigel wooed the same concrete bird for five years fruitlessly, right up until the day he died in that lonely nest, a few weeks ago.

At this point, what I just gave you probably doesn’t feel too much like a Valentine’s Day story, but frankly, it’s genius because it works for all of us. For those of us in committed relationships, Nigel is a mascot, someone we should all try to emulate, no matter how hard it might be to love the bird we chose. And for those of us who are lonely and single on this very pink and cuddly holiday, Nigel is a reminder that it could always be worse, because at least you’re not building nests for a rock. See what I mean? And the best part is that none of this is fictional—if you don’t believe me, you can watch Nigel’s struggle here.

And do you know what else works for all of us? Marijuana. For real. It makes bad dates better and good dates the best. It makes loneliness more bearable and partnership more companionable. And it makes the best Valentine’s Day gift ever, regardless of which side of the spectrum you’re on, because flowers and cordiform boxes got old a while ago. Seriously, how many points would you score with him or her if you showed up with a bouquet of flower, instead of flowers? And if you don’t have a him or a her, wouldn’t a bunch of bud just for yourself make the day a bit better? Probably.

So come in and see us. We still have plenty of reloadable gift cards, which are infinitely more practical than my marijuana bouquet idea, and we still have a little Foria Pleasure left that we’re selling at 20% off while supplies last. And best of all, we’re having a Valentine’s Day special on all our infused chocolates (20% off), so even if you’re a traditionalist who goes the heart-shaped-box-route, at least you’ll be able to fill it with something better than all that hazelnut nonsense that just gets picked through anyway. See what I mean when I say We’re Your Best Buds?!

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