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Pets and Marijuana

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I have a year-old pug named Yoda. He’s awesome. But a week ago, he was running everywhere, jumping off furniture as he chased my cat, and then something changed. He walked over to my front door and stood there on wobbling legs with his tail between his legs. He threw up on the floor. Of course, I freaked out and took him to the vet… three hundred dollars later, I was told that Yoda ate some marijuana.

I didn’t believe it at first. I have children in my home, so I follow the precautions: all my flower and edibles are locked up in a safe, so unless Yoda sprouted some thumbs and found my keys, there’s no way he could’ve gotten into my stash. So, I laughed off what the vet said, even though all Yoda wanted to do was lie around and drink water like a typical stoner. But a week later, when Yoda got high again, I started believing the vet, and I tried to figure out how my pug was getting into my stash by watching him like a spy.

The one weird thing I noticed was that Yoda would beg to go in my backyard even after I walked him. That’s when it hit me. I smoke on my back porch, and when my bowl is almost done, I blow it out into the snow. Usually, eating raw flower doesn’t get you high (even if you’re a toy-breed dog) because it hasn’t been decarboxylated, but since those cashed bowls were partially burnt, the THC had been activated, and Yoda loved it… I went out with him and caught Yoda trying to find pot by sniffing around like a truffle-hunting pig. Apparently, he loves the stuff, and now, I have to plan a puppy intervention.

To back up a little bit, pot is just as innocuous for pets as it is for humans, but the problem is that pets don’t understand what it means to get high—when we smoke pot, we expect a mental change, but pets don’t, so when it hits, they get scared (like Yoda with his tail between his legs). My vet said the same thing when I took in Yoda. She also said the high would pass for Yoda just like it does for humans, but that he’d need to be kept in a dark, quiet place until it did. The other problem for pets, she said, is that they’re so small; even the littlest amount of activated THC will get an animal crazy-baked.

So, my first point in this blog is to be extra careful with your cannabis if you have pets in your house. Actually, you should be careful with your cannabis even if you don’t have pets because if you throw a half-smoked joint out your window, there’s a good chance someone like Yoda will find it and then cost his owner $300. Let’s not do that.

My second point, and the reason I’m writing this post, is that someone calls in at least once a day asking if we sell CBD products for animals. The answer is “no,” and the reason is that even though we sell CBD products, none of them is completely THC free, so there’s still a chance you’ll get your pet high. For the record, it’s perfectly legal to buy CBD products for your pet in a dispensary, and plenty of people do, but I’d recommend going to a pet store instead because their CBD products are hemp-derived, and as such, they’re completely THC-free. So instead of coming to our Durango dispensary for your pet, try The Pet Haus or Creature Comforts. Both pet stores are close to us, so you can simply swing by after getting something here for yourself. And both shops carry a wide selection of CBD products that’ve been formulated for pets—if you tell them the breed and size of your pet, and the issue you’re trying to combat with CBD, they’ll help you with recommendations and serving sizes. Neat, right?

Lastly, I’d like to point out that even though it’s my job to get you in here, in this post, I’m telling you to spend your money elsewhere. That should tell you something about our company. You’re allowed to bring your dog into our dispensary while you shop for yourself, but I’d recommend shopping only for yourself, and not your furry friend. To us, your pet’s safety is more important than selling you something, because after all, we really are Your Best Buds!

Best Bud of the Month: Gracie Grace Gordon, Shop Dog

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If we’re being honest, our Durango dispensary is more “Durango” than the other shops in town: our owners are FLC grads, and if they’re not here, one is rafting/skiing/biking while the other is fishing, and just about everyone else who works here wears one of those puffy coats that marks a bona fide local. But more importantly, we all have dogs (which is a Durangotan prerequisite), and yes, we bring them to work; there’s a whole pack in the back on a good day. For real, there’s simply something about working alongside dogs that tempers even the worst Monday. But there’s one dog in particular who’s here often enough to earn the title of “shop dog,” and she’s so wonderful that this month, she’s Your Best Bud: Gracie Grace Gordon.

Gracie has some Lab in her, but she’s too skinny and short-haired to be a purebred. She’s all the better for it though because she’s smarter and calmer than your average Lab, and she spends her hours here walking from employee to employee with her toenails clicking on the concrete as she asks for treats (it’s perfectly acceptable to offer her a bite of your sandwich, but you have to say “easy” in a serious voice while you feed her or she’ll “accidentally” eat your hand). Gracie is a sweet, old girl who just wants love or to play with her “ladybug,” but she’s always in the back, so you’ve probably never met the dog who brightens our days. This week, we’re going to fix that; here’s Gracie’s interview:

Q. Who’s a good girl?

Gracie. “Me.”

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?

Gracie. “About twenty years ago (in dog years).”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?

Gracie. “I like eating grass. Does that count?”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?

Gracie. “You know, running, peeing, smelling; pretty much the same things you like to do.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.

Gracie. “Karen Gordon is my human. She’s The Greenery’s Chief Financial Officer, which has something to do with sitting all the time, but she’s super good at throwing things.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?

Gracie. “What?”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?

Gracie. “I like all the humans who work with me, because they have thumbs, so it’s easy for them to open the refrigerator.”

See what I mean? Gracie is awesome. She’s a loving pooch who has this uncanny ability to snap you out of a funk with a well-timed lick on your arm while you’re trying to type, and she’s a big part of why all the budtenders you meet have a smile on their faces when you come in. But more importantly, Gracie’s inclusion in our team says something about our company: we love dogs, and our company culture, one that was breed right here in Durango, makes room for our four-legged friends, and there’s nothing more “Durango” than that.

Actually, we love dogs so much that if they’re on a leash and well-behaved, you’re always welcome to bring yours into our dispensary while you shop. I promise your dog will appreciate the smells in here almost as much as you do, and it beats barking from your car in the parking lot any day. So, if you’re twenty-one or older with a valid I.D. proving it, come see us at 208 Parker Avenue and bring along your dog (he or she doesn’t need an I.D.). We’ll give you the best cannabis service and experience in town even if you bring your dogs, because we’re their Best Buds, too!

How to Smoke Marijuana

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There’s nothing wrong with not knowing how to smoke pot. I just read a news story that said one out of seven Americans smoked pot in 2017, so if you think about it, that means six out of every seven people you see on the streets haven’t smoked the stuff recently (granted, this statistic probably isn’t accurate here in Colorado). And at least once a day, one of these six people comes into our Durango dispensary and asks quietly, “so… how do you smoke marijuana?” If you’re one of these people, I hereby swear that we’ll never judge you for your inexperience because we were all there at one point.

Melissa is the best at answering these questions. I’ll admit that the average budtender might react to the “how do you smoke pot?” question with an “are you serious?” expression, but it never phases Melissa. She’ll pull out a pipe and a grinder and a lighter and go through the process for first-timers with a parent’s patience. And this week, I’ve decided to emulate Melissa and write something comprehensive for all you first-timers out there who’ve decided to try smoking cannabis; here we go.

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Step 1: Buy pot.

It’s an easy thing to do now that cannabis is legal here in Colorado, but not all marijuana is created equally. To see the good stuff, check out our menu HERE. We have the relaxing Indica strains and the energetic Sativa strains and everything in-between—to learn about the differences so you can make the right selection, click HERE.

 

 

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For the record, I’ve smoked pot for more years than I haven’t, and I’ve never used one of those fancy grinders: I simply break the pot apart with my fingers and shove it into my pipe like a caveman. But if you want to grind your pot properly, you’ll need a grinder. This is important because if you simply stuff a bud into your pipe without grinding it, it won’t burn evenly. Grinding the cannabis allows the fire to get into all the nooks and crannies, and it’ll allow the bowl to form a “cherry,” which is a little burning ember that’ll make it so you only have to use the lighter once or twice.

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You’ll need to put the ground pot into the bowl of your pipe, but don’t pack it too tightly because that’ll clog your pipe, and that’s never a good thing. Simply fill up the bowl of your pipe and press the flower down lightly with your thumb so it doesn’t fall out, and you’re ready to smoke. If you want to step things up a bit for that true Colorado experience, you can sprinkle a little old-school hash on top of your flower after loading it. This will add potency and flavor to your bowl, and it’ll make it last longer. In fact, we have our very own Hash Factory, and we make and sell the best old-school hash in Colorado.

how to smoke marijuana, how to pack a bowl, the greenery, durango, durango co, dispensary, dispensary durango, dispensary durango co, dispensaries durango, dispensaries durango co, dispensaries, dispensary near me, CBD, CBD oil, the greenery durango, marijuana dispensary, marijuanaStep 4: Burn the pot.

A simple lighter works best, and instead of torching the whole top of the bowl while you inhale, try burning just the side of it. This will make it so you can burn a little “green” with each hit so each puff tastes fresh. Some people call this method the “hippy hit” because it’s friendly: if you don’t torch all the green in the first hit, everybody in your smoking circle can taste a bit of the freshness instead of the first person getting all of it. Secondly, on the side of most pipes, there will be a little hole called the “carburetor.” You’ll need to cover this hole with your finger while you’re burning the pot and inhaling; take your finger off the hole at the end of your hit to clear all the smoke out of the pipe. Or, if you’re a pro, you can cover the hole partially while inhaling to let a little fresh air mix with the smoke for a lighter hit.

Boom! That’s how you smoke pot. Granted, you can always roll joints, but I’d recommend buying one pre-rolled (we sell one-gram joints for $12 all day long) because rolling a joint isn’t something I can teach you how to do in a blog. And then there’re bongs and glass blunts and all sorts of fancy ways to light pot on fire, but a pipe is always best for novices. So, if you’re a first-timer, come in and see Your Best Buds here at 208 Parker Avenue: we’ll take our time to answer all your questions with respect, because that’s what we do!