dispensaries near me Archives | The Grand Junction Greenery

Communist Cannabis

Posted on July 23, 2020 - 5:34 pm

I want you to picture a naked Russian man standing next to a horse without a saddle (I promise this has something to do with pot, so hang in there). He’s in the Chu Valley, right between Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan, and it’s a nice day. The grasslands around him are flat and verdant—in fact, he’s standing on the border of a large marijuana forest where the plants are ten feet tall. He’s not alone, but everyone is freshly bathed and naked, just like he is.

The naked man gets on his horse, and a few of his naked friends get on their bareback horses as well, but most remain on their feet. And then the whole group starts singing and laughing, calling out cries of jubilation, right before they ride and run with abandon through the forest of marijuana (which, by the way, is called “dichka” in Russia).

The leaves and buds whip the Russians’ bodies and their horses, and soon, everyone is covered with a thick coating of “kief,” which is a combination of trichome heads and plant matter (all the crystal-goodness that covers ripe marijuana). The group of people, some running and some riding, methodically trample the entire marijuana field so they can collect as much kief as possible, and then they ride or walk back to camp, singing and laughing. Once there, the naked, dichka-covered Russians stand on pieces of canvas, and then different Russians (fully dressed ones) use wooden tools to scrape all the kief off their naked friends and their horses. The mixture of kief and sweat is then pressed into bricks and sundried into Russian Hashish, which they call “Plastilin.” And yes, the grossness of this story makes it a tad difficult to believe, but you can read a corroborating article HERE (but as a tip, do not google “naked Russian hash making” on your company computer like I just did, because the images you’ll find have nothing to do with marijuana). Crazy, right?

This has been going on for as long as dichka has been growing in the Chu valley, and to this day, plastilin is still one of the most sought-after forms of hashish in the world. And the name is interesting, now that I think about it, because once it’s dried, this form of hashish looks and feels just like plasticine clay (the colorful stuff you used to play with in preschool). Granted, most of the reason people search for this stuff is that it’s so rare, so if it were widely available, I doubt people would crave it because hash without human and horse sweat is undoubtably better. And that’s where we come in given that we operate our very own Hash Factory that specializes in making international hashish.

But don’t worry, we won’t be making Russian Hash any time soon because I doubt Colorado would let us do anything naked, and we don’t own any horses. Frankly, I just wanted to tell you about this stuff to prove that we know the down-and-dirty about foreign hashes, and to point out that the international hashes that we do make aren’t nearly as gross. You can read about our Moroccan hash HERE and our Lebanese hash HERE, and you’ll be delighted to know that you can try either one without finding a single horsehair in your pipe. You’re welcome.

That being said, all the blogs I’ve written in the past about our traditional hashes have steered you right here to Durango, Colorado, which is the source for classic concentrates in the Southwest. But did you know that you don’t have to come to Durango to try our hashish? In the past, I imagine it’s been frustrating for you out-of-towners to read about our hash without being able to try it, and for that, I apologize. It’s taken me this long to realize I’ve never told you that our traditional hash is available in over 160 dispensaries across Colorado, and all you have to do to find the closest one is look at our hash-finder map that you can see HERE. Isn’t that wonderful?

The reason that our hashes are so much better than everything else out there is that we don’t use hydrocarbons to make our products; we don’t need butane to make concentrates like everyone else because the old-school way is just fine. We tumble our pot and collect the kief, and then we bake it or press it to make the most wholistic form of hashish you can imagine, and our processes stand the test of time because people have been making hash just like we do for thousands of years. So, come see us, or click on the map to go see one of our friends, because international hashes are wonderful, and because We’re Your Best Buds!

Changes in our Durango Dispensary

Posted on November 10, 2018 - 9:00 am

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Change really is the only constant here at The Greenery, even though saying so sounds like a platitude. But change is a good thing because it means we’re listening to you, our customers. And you’ve been asking for all sorts of things, from flavored exotic vape cartridges to more affordable dabs to fast-acting edibles, so this week, I wanted to check in and tell you about all the new stuff that’s popping off here in our Durango dispensary.

First, let’s talk about people: Jen and Porter are the two newest additions to our team. Jen is the calm, professionally-dressed woman who seems to be catching onto the whole “budtender” thing more quickly than humanly possible, and Porter is the young gentleman with an excited smile who’s probably sold to you more than once if you’re a regular. And I wanted to start off by talking about these two because they’re both wonderful additions to our team, and they’ve made it their personal goals to give you the kind of experience that keeps people coming back to our Durango dispensary.

But if I’m being honest, I know you come here for cannabis, and the good service is just a bonus, so let’s talk about what’s new per the products we’re selling. For one, we’ve added House Wax and Shatter to our shelves. These products are exclusive to The Greenery because they’re made from our boutique flower, and the price is phenomenal—the House Wax sells for $30 per gram after tax, and you can walk out our door with a gram of House Shatter for only $35. Seriously, you won’t find a better dab for a better price in Durango.

Secondly, many of you have been asking for one-gram cartridges, and we listened. We’re selling 1000mg carts filled with terpene-rich distillate for $85, and even though that might sound like a large investment, it’s a wonderful value. Most 500mg carts are priced in the $60 range, so these 1000mg carts save you money if you look at it like you’re buying in bulk, and the distillate inside these large carts is as potent and tasty as it comes. You’ve also been asking for flavored cartridges as well, so once again, we listened, and were now selling distillate PAX Pods that come in an assortment of flavors like Creamsicle and Lime Sherbet (pot has never tasted so good).

And yes, the “fast-acting edibles” I mentioned in that first paragraph do in fact exist. I’ll tell you more about those next week, but we’re now selling gummies and powdered drink additives that are made with a water-soluble THC distillate, which means that these edibles can take effect in as few as thirty minutes. If you’re a fan of edibles, I don’t have to tell you that this is a gamechanger.

Now, if you’ve shopped here before, you know that we have a loyalty card program wherein you can get deep discounts the more you shop (for instance, your tenth pre-roll in our shop will cost you a dollar out the door). But many of you have been telling us you’d like more freedom with your rewards, so once again, we listened, and we rolled out an electronic rewards program. Aren’t we fancy?! I’ll write a dedicated blog about it when the time is right, but basically, we’re using an electronic system that tracks your purchases (so you don’t have to keep a punch card in your wallet), and you’ll be able to use your discounts on just about anything, which wasn’t the case before. Trust me, it’ll be much better.

Okay… that covers all the new stuff, but some things will never change, just like Tupac said—we still have the best cannabis in town, our budtenders are still about fifteen times more knowledgeable than the other guys, and your experience in our store matters to us just as much as the product we sell. And most importantly, we still listen to our customers and make the changes you request. So, if you’re over twenty-one with a valid I.D. proving as much and you’d like to see these changes for yourself, come see us at 208 Parker Avenue, because We’re Your Best Buds!

Seniors and Cannabis

Posted on November 3, 2018 - 9:00 am

Let me tell you a story…

We have to check everyone’s I.D. when they walk into our Durango dispensary—it doesn’t matter if we know them of if they’re obviously old enough to be our grandparents, because rules are rules. But I always feel a bit odd when I ask someone from the Greatest Generation for their driver’s license, and they always look at me like I’m a bit odd for asking. And the other day, a gentleman walked in, I asked to see his I.D., he looked at me like I was daft before he fished it out, and then my mind exploded when I saw his birthday: he was born in 1927.

I’m sure you already did the math, but that gentleman was 91 years old. It was easy to see that he was still all there mentally speaking: he had a quick wit, his eyes were bright, he walked around as easily as the rest of us, and he just wanted to get high.

Does that seem strange to you? Is it easier to picture an old man cupping a glass of whiskey than it is to imagine an old man smoking a joint? If we’re being honest, the answer is “yes” because the collective paradigm per marijuana was quite a bit different a few decades ago, and growing up around all the misinformation usually makes it so the elderly think about cannabis in a negative light. Think about it: that ninety-one-years-old man was nine-years-old when “Reefer Madness” made its horrific debut in theaters. If you’re not familiar with the movie, it was a piece of glorified propaganda. It depicted young men and women smoking the reefer and then going into crazed states of sexual abandon and going on crime sprees (you know, kinda like what alcohol does in reality). Believe it or not, the original title of the movie was going to be “Tell Your Children,” and the film was backed by a few people who waned to keep marijuana illegal for monetary reasons (you can read about that HERE).

Anyway, I talked for a while with that old man about his views on cannabis, and he told me that he was too old to care what other people thought. He told me that he used to be against marijuana because “that’s just the way it was” back in his day, and he told me that he wanted to see for himself what all the hubbub was about. So, I sold him a joint, shook his hand, and then checked his I.D. two days later when he came back for more. Isn’t that great?

And that man isn’t alone. One of our regular customers is a sweet lady who always wears floral dresses, and her I.D. shows a birthday from the thirties; she comes in once every week for cannabis salve. I’ve sold pot to wheelchair-bound men in their eighties, I’ve sold it to whole knitting circles of elderly women who want to make their book clubs more fun, and if I’m being honest, I sell to seniors just as often as I sell to millennials—believe it or not, our average customer is in their forties.

Do you know why? Well, it’s because The Greenery is the local shop for grownups. Customer service is just as important to us as the products we sell, so all our budtenders are trained thoroughly. You won’t find the archetypical stoned budtender in our shop, and none of us is the dazed and confused burnout you might’ve encountered in the tourist traps downtown. We care about your experience, not just your high, and if you’re looking for respect as well as the best marijuana in Durango, this is the place for you.

So, if you’re over twenty-one (or ninety-one) with a valid I.D. that proves it, come see us at 208 Parker Avenue right here in Durango, or call us at (970) 403-3710 if you’d like to talk with us before coming in, because no matter how old you are, We’re Your Best Buds!

RSO in Durango

Posted on October 27, 2018 - 9:00 am

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There’s still no such thing as genuine RSO in Durango, so I stand by the first blog I wrote about it that you can read HERE. Rick Simpson still lives in Croatia, and he still spends his days sending nastygrams to people in Colorado who slap Rick’s name on their oil. That being said, there’s something new we’re carrying in our Durango dispensary you need to know about: oil capsules from Sweet.

Let me back up and explain a couple things. Like I said in that first blog, Rick Simpson made his oil in his backyard with alcohol, cannabis, a bucket, and a stick. People think Rick Simpson oil is the bee’s knees because it was the first oil to become famous, but let me tell you, nowadays, we’ve progressed quite a bit since the “stick and bucket” days. So please, please, please believe me when I tell you that modern oils are better than the old ones, even though we don’t use Rick Simpson’s famous name.

To make cannabis oil today, we use liquid CO2, a pressurized stainless-steel vessel, and a rotary evaporator. See what I mean about progression? But here’s the important part: when most CO2 oil is produced, it’s winterized with ethanol to take out all the lipids and impurities to make the oil vaporizable, but most people looking for an edible oil want these things because they’re searching for “whole-plant” oil. So, Sweet listened when they made their CO2 oil capsules, and they skipped the winterization process; doing so allowed them to keep all the lipids and secondary plant compounds in their oil for that whole-plant effect people are looking for when they search for RSO.

The only other ingredient in the Sweet capsule is coconut oil, so you won’t need to worry about additives you can’t pronounce. And we sell 10-packs of these capsules (available in either Indica or Sativa) for $24 after tax. Each capsule delivers 10mg THC (and sometimes, a couple milligrams of CBD) for a total of 100mg THC per package. And if you’re looking for RSO, I’d recommend that you come in and try these capsules even though you won’t find Rick’s name anywhere on the packaging, because they were made with science instead of a stick. Sounds legit, right?

So, if you’re one of the many RSO-hunters who calls in daily or reads blogs like this (and you’re 21 or over with a valid I.D.), come see Your Best Buds at our Durango dispensary on 208 Parker Avenue, and we’ll send you on your way with the modern-day version of RSO!

Marijuana Dispensary Words

Posted on October 20, 2018 - 9:00 am

Did you know that “sinsemilla” simply refers to a feminized cannabis plant, and that every strain of flower sold in modern-day dispensaries is in fact sinsemilla? I only ask because someone from the Baby Boomer generation comes in at least once a week and asks, “do you have any sinsemilla?” because that’s what good pot used to be called, and I wanted to set the record straight this week.

It’s the same story with “Thai stick,” which simply refers to old-school cannabis from Thailand wherein pot was wrapped tightly in a “stick” so it could be smuggled into the States. Most Baby Boomers think of Thai stick as the pinnacle of pot, and they all claim to have smoked it, when really, not many people have. And there’s nothing special about it in the first place: most of the cannabis that was smuggled in a few decades ago topped out at 10% THC, and we’ve got some Pineapple Trainwreck on our menu as I write this that’s pushing 30% THC, which blows anything old-school out of the water.

And now that I think about it, I shouldn’t stop with sinsemilla or Thai stick because there’s a litany of esoteric terms used in the cannabis industry, and if you don’t know them, it might sound like your budtender is speaking a foreign language during his or her spiel. And vice-versa, if you’re a Baby Boomer and you use words from your generation in a dispensary, there’s a damn good chance the twenty-five-years-old budtender you meet won’t have a clue what you’re talking about. So, this week, I’m going to talk about all the weird words we use to talk about pot, both now and way-back-when, so we can all be on the same page.

Let’s start with the word “marijuana” itself. A lot of people don’t like that word because it has racist roots (the word was used intentionally way back when to tie cannabis to Mexican drug runners rhetorically to smear cannabis), but it is what it is. And most people think that “marijuana” is a Spanish word, but it’s not: its root can be found in the Spanish word for oregano (“mejorana”) and the English word for oregano (“marjoram”), but nobody’s really sure where the word comes from (if you don’t believe me, ask Wikipedia HERE).

Secondly, there’s a huge difference between hemp and cannabis even though they share a scientific name: hemp cannot get you high, but cannabis is famous for it. Hemp is a tall leafy plant, and the products made from it (textiles and CBD oils) are legal in almost all fifty states; cannabis is a small bushy plant that’s legal only in smart states like Colorado.

Alright… let’s get to some specific words. Do you know the difference between a “joint,” a “pre-roll,” and a “blunt”? Well, the first is something you roll at home, the second is something you buy already rolled from a dispensary, and the third is something rolled with a tobacco wrapper. Of course, tobacco is illegal to sell in a dispensary, so the blunts we sell use a hemp wrapper (they’re awesome).

But if you like loose pot as opposed to joints, you’ve probably heard us refer to it as “flower” instead of “weed” or “pot” because that’s the new fancy term for bud these days. And if you think about it, it’s accurate because the part of the plant you smoke is indeed the “flower.” As to the bud itself, we call it the “cola” officially, but if the buds are small, we call it “popcorn” because the little buds resemble popcorn. And instead of “shake” (which refers to all the trimmed leaves), we call it “trim” because it’s more accurate.

Now, on to descriptive words. As a disclaimer, stoners are notoriously lazy, so most of the words we use to describe cannabis are just abused words. For example, if the flower is leafy instead of dense, we call it “larfy,” which is what it’d sound like if you said “leafy” with a mouthful of peanut butter. And if the flower is grown indoors, we call it “indo,” which is also a term used to describe good cannabis, just like “dank” or “kind.” And if the cannabis is grown hydroponically as opposed to in a soil medium, we call it “hydro” which is also another adjective used to describe good pot (even though the stuff that’s not “hydro” is better). See? We’re learning.

Alright, here come a bunch of words all at once: “OG” stands for “ocean-grown” and most of these strains originated on the Left Coast in California; “kush” refers to a relaxing Indica as does “skunk,” even though the latter strains smell like skunks; “haze” is a moniker that’s usually associated with potent Sativa strains; “diesel” and “chem” are designations associated with strains that smell like fuel or chemicals; words like “mota” or “ganja” or “cheeba” are simply regional names for cannabis. Did you get all that? I hope so. And I’m not going to get into the difference between Indica and Sativa because I’ve harped on that during more than one blog, just like I have when it comes to terpenes or “terps,” which are the compounds that give weed its flavor, smell, and secondary effect. But if you hear someone refer to a specific strain as a “mid” or a “craft mid,” it means that it’s a middle-grade strain that’s just okay.

Boom! Now we all know the same words and we’ll speak the same language when you come into our Durango dispensary. Things like that are important. So please, come see us at 208 Parker Avenue regardless of which words you use, because We’re Your Best Buds, and now we’re on the same page!

Dealing with your Friendly Neighborhood Dispensary Budtender

Posted on August 25, 2018 - 9:00 am

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I have strict rules for tipping: at the bar, it’s a dollar per drink, at the restaurant, it’s twenty-percent for awesome service, and a passive-aggressive fifteen-percent for anything less. But the first time I purchased legal weed, I had no idea what to do—there was a tip jar by the register, so when I bought my first joint, I stuffed two dollars in that jar for the budtender and then looked at her to see if she thought it was acceptable. She didn’t notice, so I went on my way hoping it was okay.

Now that I stand on the other side of the counter, I know that a two-buck tip for a joint is perfectly acceptable, if not overkill. You see, dispensary budtenders are nothing like bartenders or servers even though the jobs are similar: we receive a regular wage, so tips are an added bonus, not the cornerstone to our living like they are for a waitress. Throwing a buck or two into our jar is simply a way to say “thank you” if we’ve answered all your questions and provided the type of customer service you expect, but it isn’t necessary; we’ll never judge you behind your back if you go on your way without leaving a tip.

But if you really loved your experience in our Durango dispensary, there’s an even better way to show us: leave us a Google review. After all, this is the modern age, and Google makes the world go ‘round (and it’s probably how you found this blog). If you leave us a review, it lets us know how we’re doing and how we can improve; we need your input because we want to be the best.

For example, if you Google “The Greenery,” click “rate and review” over to the right, select the number of stars, type something like, “Jesse writes the best pot blogs on earth,” and then click “publish,” I get all sorts of kudus. Fun, right? But if there’s something we need to do better (like if you found a typo in this blog), please tell us that too; we want to hear it.

We also need to talk about your I.D. I’ve told you this before and I’m sure you already know it, but you must have a valid government-issued form of identification proving that you’re twenty-one or older to purchase anything in our dispensary. That being said, I know how annoying it can be to take out your driver’s license and show it to a budtender, but we don’t have a choice—if my grandmother were still alive (and if she got over that whole “devil’s lettuce” thing when it comes to pot), I’d have to card her if she came in here just to make sure her I.D. wasn’t expired. It’s either that, or a hefty fine and the loss of my ridiculously fun job.

And what makes this rule especially irksome is that if you show your I.D. to a budtender when you come in, but someone different rings you up, you’ll have to show your I.D. again even though you’re still the same person. We don’t have a choice. So please, even though it’s annoying to pull that I.D. out of your wallet or purse, bear with us. Budtenders don’t make the rules, but we have to follow them.

Other than that, the only thing you need to know is that we’re here for you; it’s our job to provide you with an educational experience when you come in to The Greenery. It’s what we do. I don’t care if there’s a line out the door: if I’m helping you at the counter, I’ll take my time to answer every question you have each and every time, so don’t be afraid to ask. That’s what makes The Greenery different than all the other dispensaries in town, so please don’t feel as if you’re in a rush while you’re here, because to us, your experience is more important than anything else. And that’s how it’ll always be when you’re dealing with our budtenders, because We’re Your Best Buds!

How to Identify Quality Marijuana

Posted on June 9, 2018 - 9:00 am

Part of me wants to say, “go to The Greenery and look at our marijuana because that’s what quality looks like,” but I’m not going to do that to you. I’ve been writing these blogs long enough to assume that I’ve built up a bit of ethos with at least one of you, and I don’t want to lose your trust. So, this week, I’m going to teach you how to tell the good from the bad when it comes to all the green stuff that’s on the market.

I see it every day: someone new will walk into our shop and look down at the twelve strains we have on display, and they’ll have no clue where to start. But can you blame them? Some of our strains are purple, some have white crystals and orange hairs. Some strains are neon green and some are dark as moss. How’s a newbie supposed to figure out what’s what? There are well over four-thousand named strains of marijuana and they all look different—if I didn’t work with weed all day every day, I probably wouldn’t know where to start either. So, when a new customer looks up from our display and asks, “um, how do I tell which one is good?”, I tell them these things:

1.) Look at the pot.

I know that sounds stupid, but it isn’t as easy as you’d think to tell whether flower is “quality” just by looking at it. We all know what good food looks like because food has been legal forever, but pot hasn’t, so for that first-time shopper, all the visual differences can be difficult to judge. So, one of the first things to look for is density, and that’s what I tell our customers. Pick up one of our display jars and shake it a bit. If the pot rattles around like a little rock, it’s dense, which is good because it means the flower is highly resinous, and that it was grown and cured properly. If the pot feels light like a ball of grass, it’s “larfy.”

For the record, I’ll admit freely that most of the words we use to describe cannabis are ridiculous, and they’re usually lazy versions of real words. For example, the word “larfy” means “leafy,” and it’s the term used in the marijuana industry use to describe fluffy pot, which usually isn’t as good as the dense stuff. And the “usually” matters, because sometimes, a fluffy strain (like the 30% THC King Kong we’re selling right now) will come along that’s better than a lot of the dense stuff.

Secondly, look for crystals. Technically, the crystals are dehydrated trichomes (the resinous glands that grow out of a plant’s epidermis), but all you really need to know is that crystal-covered flower is usually awesome because plants that produce a ton of crystals are usually potent and flavorful, and that’s always a good thing.

Third, check the bud structure. Round or conical buds are usually the best because the shape suggests the plants were grown properly. For instance, if you see long spindles of bud shooting off here and there (these are called “foxtails”), it could mean that the plant was grown with too much heat, which will affect the taste and cannabinoid content. But again, the “usually” matters, because there are a few awesome strains out there (like Casey Jones) that grow foxtails no matter how they’re cultivated.

2.) Smell the pot.

Again, it’s not nearly as easy as it sounds. Just like a fine wine, good pot will have a distinct “nose,” and even though it sounds snobby, we use that word in our industry too. But it’s tricky to pick out pot by its smell. You wouldn’t think it, but some of the best strains smell bad. The UK Cheese we sell in our shop from time to time smells like a mild cheddar, but the taste is creamy and the high is spectacular. We sell a Sour Diesel strain that smells like a gas station, but the high is energetic and blissful. And we sell a Chem Dog strain that smells like bleached linoleum, but again, the high is perfect.

My point here is that you need to reevaluate what you consider to be a “good” smell and start sniffing for specifics. After all, a flower’s smell is determined by its terpene content, and different terpenes do different things. For example, if you come into our shop, smell one of our display jars, and encounter a musky, skunk-like smell, the strain you’re sniffing most likely contains a high concentration of B-Myrcene, which is a terpene that’s thought to provide relaxation and pain-management possibilities.

And you can do this proactively: if you’re looking for an uplifting strain, avoid the skunk smells and sniff around for something that smells like pine or lemons—these smells come from the terpenes Pinene and d-Limonene respectively, and they’re famous for day-crushing energy and creativity.

3.) Lastly, ask questions.

There are a few other visual cues and at least ten more terpenes that really matter, so come in and ask one of our budtenders to explain what you’re looking at and smelling. Tell them the type of high you’re looking for and your quality/price range, and our budtenders will point you in the right direction, because I promise they’ve looked at and sniffed more pot than most of us could ever hope to. And the iPads we use to ring you up when you shop at The Greenery double as computers; we’ll always take the time to look up answers to your questions if we don’t know them readily.

So, if you’re over twenty-one with a valid I.D., come to The Greenery at 208 Parker Avenue. We’ll show you our quality marijuana, and we’ll take the time to explain the differences, because We’re Your Best Buds!

Are you old enough to be here?

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