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Best Bud of the Month

Posted on July 12, 2017 - 7:18 pm

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Melissa Nichols
Vendor & Community Relations Manager

Some Navy Seals can hold their breath for seven minutes; they go through all sorts of ninja training to get to that point. But at The Greenery, we have a budtender who can hold her breath for seventy-two seconds; she discovered her talent while playing dead-man games in Mexico because you’re never too old to mess with foreign lifeguards.

Melissa Nichols is simply awesome. She’s an open book who loves what she does, and we love having her here, but being our Community Relations Manager wasn’t her first job; Mel used to be a professional naked person. She posed in the nude for a sculpting class two hours per day, three times a week, for six weeks (if you do the math, that’s thirty-six hours’ worth of nudity in front of strangers). And I’m sure that if you looked long and hard enough, you’d probably be able to find a miniature, sculpted, naked Melissa at a local garage sale (we hereby promise a $1 pre-roll joint to anyone who brings one in). But here’s the rest of her story.

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Melissa. “I was the first budtender on the payroll, and I was behind the counter when Wally (our first customer) gave us the twenty-dollar bill that’s hanging in the back office.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Melissa. “I love water pipes, and Cheese is my all-time favorite strain.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Melissa. “I love snowboarding and hiking, but what I love most is connecting with the outdoors. I love taking time to myself outside and just breathing, looking at the life and nature around me, the bugs and plants, because it helps me connect with what’s important.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Melissa. “Mr. Mac is a black cat, and Prince Hal is a cat colored like a cow. He’s a Holstein cat. And Tigger is our yellow lab. We got him too late to do anything about his name.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Melissa. “alt-J radio, or any of the Tiny Desk Concerts on NPR; they’re just awesome.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Melissa. “People are happy when they come into our store, and I get to make them happier. And I don’t have to censor myself when I’m working here, so I absolutely love it.”

And that’s Melissa. She’s the type of person who’s more comfortable barefoot—I’ve seen her afterhours, walking around in her colorful socks, making small foot-fists on the foamy pads behind our sales counter, and that says a lot about a person. She isn’t afraid to be who she is, and even though you might not believe it, she really is just as nice as she comes across when she asks for your ID. Melissa is a genuine and open person, and she’s worked diligently over the past two and a half years to make The Greenery Durango’s best dispensary. And that, my friends, is why Melissa Nichols is you Best Bud of the Month.

Cheers! The Greenery, Budtender, Durango

Best Bud of the Month

Posted on June 17, 2017 - 10:00 am

Sam Redman

Inventory/Metrc (Marijuana Enforcement Tracking Reporting Compliance)/POS Manager

Sam Redman is The Greenery’s very own Renaissance man. He’s an intellectual—one who can wear a denim jacket and pull it off—and he’s done all the things the rest of us just want to do: he camped in the backwoods of France for five months on end; he traveled the world just to see what he could see; he’s the front-man of a badass funk and hip-hop fusion band, Diabolical Sound Platoon. And he’s a great guy to work with. He usually stays in the back, crunching numbers at his standing desk while a podcast plays in the background, but he runs to the register when the rush hits, and he serves our customers with an affable smile, an easy laugh. Sam helped build The Greenery, lending to our company culture his eloquence and attention to detail—he’s a cornerstone in our team, an all-around cool guy, and he’s your Best Bud of the month.

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Sam. “A month before we opened.”

According to a fellow budtender, “Sam is kind of a big deal,” because he’s been here from day-one. He strapped on a tool belt and put in the floor our customers walk on daily, and he’s been managing our ever-changing, quicksilver inventory ever since.

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Sam. “I don’t have one. I like all of it, from dabbing to vaporizing to smoking flower.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Sam. “Bouldering. It’s a concentrated, gymnastic way up the rock, with pads and chalk, but no ropes. It’s climbing rendered down to its essence. I love solving bouldering problems, and I’ve authored a few local first-ascents, like ‘Al Montana.’”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Sam. “Logan is a manly Maine Coon, but he isn’t named after Wolverine. He’s nineteen years old, and he got his name before Hugh Jackman was cool.”

It was early morning a few years ago, and Sam was sleeping when he heard his roommates screaming that “Logan had caught a bird.” Sam ran buck-naked into the living room to find Logan battling a bona fide turkey vulture with one of those wingspans you usually see only on The Discovery Channel. So Sam jumped into the fray and grabbed the monstrous bird while his roommates pointed and laughed, despite the fact that naked bird wrestling is a serious situation. Sam ran to the window with his prize and knocked out the bug screen while his foe fought with talons and screeching bird noises. Sam released the vulture into the air (no doubt in slow-motion, looking like a rugged falconer), and it took flight immediately without looking back. Logan was pissed for weeks, never truly forgiving Sam for his intervention, but that’s just the way cats are.

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Sam. “I like cold-wave and podcasts. Lately, I’ve been listening to a lot of Neil DeGrasse Tyson.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Sam. “I love our customers, and the challenging aspect of controlling our extensive inventory.”

And there you have it. Frankly, this company is what it is in a large part thanks to Sam’s contributions. He’s a witty guy with a cunning repertoire of pickup lines, and he’s a knowledgeable budtender. The next time you come in, look for the guy in a jeans-jacket and say “hi.” Strike up a conversation about flat-earthers and tell Sam they might be on to something. He loves that kind of stuff…

Sam Redman, Budtender, The Greenery, Durango, CO, marijuana Sam solving some marijuana mutha-fucking mysteries at his post.

Foria

Posted on June 10, 2017 - 10:00 am

There’s no such thing as a comfortable conversation about suppositories. Well, not usually, anyway, but you and I are going to have one right now; the buffering shield of anonymity protects us both from embarrassment. And for the record, I know you clicked the “yes, I’m twenty-one” tab to enter this site, so we’re going to talk about this like grownups. Anyway, here we go…

The Greenery is now offering two new marijuana infused products, both of which are produced by Foria, specifically “Pleasure” and “Relief.” The first comes in a 5 milliliter spray bottle that delivers 2.5 milligrams per application—here comes the adult part: the suggested use is to spray one dose “directly onto the clitoris, inner and outer labia, and inside the vagina.” You’ll need to allow up to fifteen minutes for Pleasure to take effect, and this product isn’t approved for use with latex condoms, but other than that, there’s not much you need to know. Women who’ve used this product say that Pleasure enables better, multiple orgasms that’re easier to access, and that Pleasure may help with improved, natural lubrication. Of course, since this product delivers THC, it may also bring with it the classical effects associated with marijuana: deep-body relaxation, a sound night’s sleep, and for some, a slight high. And if you think about it, a product like this makes sense. Cannabis products have been known to increase blood flow, and that’s the main prerequisite for sexual pleasure. The Greenery is offering Pleasure for $25 before tax per bottle, and if you’d like more information, just go to www.foriapleasure.com.

See? We made it through that wonderfully. Neither one of us giggled, which proves that we’re mature enough to move on to the vaginal suppository.

Look, I know that last sentence ended with a jarring pair of words, but it is what it is, and this product might bring some real relief to women who need it, so it’s worth discussion. And Foria’s Relief is all over the internet, so much so that it has earned the somewhat misleading nickname of “weed tampon,” so it’s important that we dispel any of the misconceptions associated with this product before you walk in our door; Relief is in fact not a tampon. Also, these posts are pretty short, so after you’ve read what we have to say about it, we’d recommend going to Relief’s FAQ page here for further information.

In short, each package of Relief (which we’re selling for $25 before tax) includes two suppositories; each one contains 10 milligrams of THC and 60 milligrams of CBD. Women who’ve tried this product have reported “a significant decrease in the pain and discomfort often associated with menstruation,” per Foria’s testimonies. The THC may help via the nervous system by blocking pain signals and boosting pleasure, and the CBD may help with inflammation and cramps. Also, given the 10 milligrams of THC per dose, it’s possible that users might experience a high, but Foria has this product listed as “non-psychoactive,” so results may vary. The science makes sense, and the only other ingredient in each suppository is organic cocoa butter, so we at The Greenery think that Relief is a worthy addition to our menu, but it’s always prudent to consult your physician before trying a product such as Relief.

And that’s it; we’re done. I typed out five-hundred words that’d make me blush and break eye-contact in the real world, and you sat where you’re sitting and read about The Greenery’s newest products in privacy. However, I know that reading about a product and actually buying it are two completely different things; you might still harbor a touch of trepidation about coming into our store and ordering one of these products from a stranger with a straight face. So, I have a suggestion: use our convenient call-ahead service. Just give us a shout at (970) 403-3710 and tell us what you’d like to try. We’ll put some Pleasure in a white paper bag, or some Relief, if you’d prefer, and we’ll set aside your order discreetly—we’ll write your first name on the bag, and nothing more. Tell us your name when you come in, we’ll ring up your order without making a big deal out if it, and then you can go on your way comfortably.

Or, if this is how you roll, just come in, walk up to the register, and tell us what you want loud and proud. Ask us questions, if you have any after reading this, and we’ll answer them accurately and seriously. After all, we’re profesionals, and that’s how we’ll treat you, because that’s what you’ve come to expect from your best buds.

-The Greenery

Floria Pleasure, The Greenery, Recreational Marijuana Foria Relief, The Greenery

Legal Marijuana, and Homelessness

Posted on June 3, 2017 - 10:00 am

I’ve never met Joseph Kolb, or anybody else from Fox News for that matter, but I’d like to. I’m pretty good at explaining things to people, especially matters of simple logic, and Mr. Kolb needs a lesson of sorts. Recently, he wrote an article for Fox News titled “Legalized marijuana turns Colorado resort town into homeless magnet,” and once I realized I was reading a nationally syndicated column as opposed to a tabloid, my smile turned upside-down. You can read it here, if you’re interested, but I’ll sum it up for you: Kolb was talking about our town, Durango, Colorado, and for twenty-two paragraphs, he wrote nonsense ad nauseam. This myopic man seriously thinks that legalized marijuana is ruining our town by luring in the homeless, even though from an objective point of view, things look a little differently. Let me explain.

It’s a logical fallacy of the worst order to tie two things together without researching the connection. As an example, I stubbed my toe when I got out of bed this morning, and at the same time, the sun was popping up above the horizon. But when I told my wife about it, I didn’t say “honey, I stubbed my toe when the sun came up today, ergo, solar radiation is making me clumsy,” because such an assertion would be asinine gibberish.

Basically, Kolb took two unrelated facts and tied them together with no regard for journalistic integrity whatsoever. True, the legalization of recreational marijuana came to our town in 2014, and our homeless population started booming around the same time, but the two occurrences are unrelated. In 2014, the ACLU sent a letter to Durango’s city council wherein they threatened to sue if our local police kept enforcing our “anti-loitering” ordinance. According to the ACLU, it’s an infringement of free speech to stop homeless people from panhandling, because when they write “anything helps” on a piece of cardboard, they’re exercising a constitutional right… seems legit. Anyway, the cops stopped herding the homeless away from Main Avenue because the ACLU isn’t an organization to take lightly. The homeless people in this town took note, they told their friends, and the rest is self-explanatory.

Our town is beautiful. We have a narrow-gauge railroad straight out of antiquity; we have world-class skiing in the winter; we have an ever-adapting whitewater course on the Animas River that runs through this town like an artery. We have abundant camping spaces and temperate weather and affluent locals. We have bars and comfortable park benches and a generous homeless shelter. And most importantly, we have cops who won’t bother you if you want to dress in a sleeping bag and stand on Main Street with your hand out.

That’s why our homeless population is booming—it has nothing to do with legal pot, and people who think otherwise are subscribing to old-think. These are the same fools who watched “Reefer Madness” and took it as gospel—these are the same people who rallied against legalized marijuana, and now that they’ve lost, they’re grasping for straws and doing their damnedest to find an “I told you so” buried somewhere amongst all the positive results stemming from decriminalization. And as a professional in the marijuana industry, my frustration is palpable.

I sell pot for a living, and I can tell you from personal experience that our clients come from all walks of life. I’ve served giddy college seniors, bubbling about the fact that they just turned twenty-one. I’ve served sweet old ladies, smiling like my grandmother, who’re happy to get carded because octogenarians have forgotten what it feels like. I’ve served people who’re just as broke as I am, and I once served a man wearing a watch worth more than my education. These people hold down jobs and pay taxes and care for their families just like Americans are supposed to. And unfortunately, people like Kolb can’t see these things because they write about our town from far away, looking at us through a tinted telescope of assumption. They tie to legalized marijuana unfair and negative “facts” because people like Kolb harbor a personal prejudice against legal pot, and at times, it seems as if no amount of factual evidence can dilute their bias. It’s unfortunate, but I guess it’s just part of the game.

All I can do is tell you this: here at The Greenery, we know that legal marijuana is a good thing, and we take our jobs seriously. We have to—we’re stewards of an industry facing a good deal of ignorant skepticism. We run a clean and legal operation, and our attention to regulation compliance borders on the obsessive. And for as long as we’re around, we’ll do our best to educate our customers and our community vis-à-vis the truth about legal marijuana, so please, keep checking in, and as always, if you have any questions, call your Best Buds at (970) 403-3710. Thank you.

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Tag: dispensaries in durango co

Best Bud of the Month

Best Bud of the Month

Sam Redman

Foria

Legal Marijuana, and Homelessness