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Dealing with your Friendly Neighborhood Dispensary Budtender

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I have strict rules for tipping: at the bar, it’s a dollar per drink, at the restaurant, it’s twenty-percent for awesome service, and a passive-aggressive fifteen-percent for anything less. But the first time I purchased legal weed, I had no idea what to do—there was a tip jar by the register, so when I bought my first joint, I stuffed two dollars in that jar for the budtender and then looked at her to see if she thought it was acceptable. She didn’t notice, so I went on my way hoping it was okay.

Now that I stand on the other side of the counter, I know that a two-buck tip for a joint is perfectly acceptable, if not overkill. You see, dispensary budtenders are nothing like bartenders or servers even though the jobs are similar: we receive a regular wage, so tips are an added bonus, not the cornerstone to our living like they are for a waitress. Throwing a buck or two into our jar is simply a way to say “thank you” if we’ve answered all your questions and provided the type of customer service you expect, but it isn’t necessary; we’ll never judge you behind your back if you go on your way without leaving a tip.

But if you really loved your experience in our Durango dispensary, there’s an even better way to show us: leave us a Google review. After all, this is the modern age, and Google makes the world go ‘round (and it’s probably how you found this blog). If you leave us a review, it lets us know how we’re doing and how we can improve; we need your input because we want to be the best.

For example, if you Google “The Greenery,” click “rate and review” over to the right, select the number of stars, type something like, “Jesse writes the best pot blogs on earth,” and then click “publish,” I get all sorts of kudus. Fun, right? But if there’s something we need to do better (like if you found a typo in this blog), please tell us that too; we want to hear it.

We also need to talk about your I.D. I’ve told you this before and I’m sure you already know it, but you must have a valid government-issued form of identification proving that you’re twenty-one or older to purchase anything in our dispensary. That being said, I know how annoying it can be to take out your driver’s license and show it to a budtender, but we don’t have a choice—if my grandmother were still alive (and if she got over that whole “devil’s lettuce” thing when it comes to pot), I’d have to card her if she came in here just to make sure her I.D. wasn’t expired. It’s either that, or a hefty fine and the loss of my ridiculously fun job.

And what makes this rule especially irksome is that if you show your I.D. to a budtender when you come in, but someone different rings you up, you’ll have to show your I.D. again even though you’re still the same person. We don’t have a choice. So please, even though it’s annoying to pull that I.D. out of your wallet or purse, bear with us. Budtenders don’t make the rules, but we have to follow them.

Other than that, the only thing you need to know is that we’re here for you; it’s our job to provide you with an educational experience when you come in to The Greenery. It’s what we do. I don’t care if there’s a line out the door: if I’m helping you at the counter, I’ll take my time to answer every question you have each and every time, so don’t be afraid to ask. That’s what makes The Greenery different than all the other dispensaries in town, so please don’t feel as if you’re in a rush while you’re here, because to us, your experience is more important than anything else. And that’s how it’ll always be when you’re dealing with our budtenders, because We’re Your Best Buds!

August’s Best Bud of the Month

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Kevin Grady
Budtender, Product Research Team Member

About your Best Bud:

Kevin is everybody’s friend. Seriously. Everyone who comes in here gives him a warm hello or a wave as if he’s Norm from Cheers; Kevin is the only budtender I know who has groupies. And that makes sense because he’s the salty bartender type who’s quick with a joke or an anecdote to turn frowns upside-down. But he has a serious, knowledgeable side as well, and he knows his stuff when it comes to cannabis, which is why he earned a spot on our Product Research Team. When Kevin isn’t selling cannabis, he’s researching it, spending his time reading about every product on the market to make sure The Greenery sells the best of the best. That’s why this week, you get to meet him (unless, of course, you’re like everyone else who already knows Kevin):

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Kevin. “March 27th of this year, I believe.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Kevin. “A bubbler or a bong; a little water action. I like Green Crack and Golden Goat, or any sativa from The Greenery Grow, and I like very strong indica dabs.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Kevin. “Outdoor? Hiking and biking, but mostly because I haven’t owned a car for five years. In the wintertime, I like hockey and snowboarding.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Kevin. “I’m the only person in Durango without a pet.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Kevin. “My favorite is Gogol Bordello, but I’m always into Ska and Punk depending on the time of day and customers.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Kevin. “I like helping customers because I truly believe in cannabis.”

Due to this dedication to research and customer care (and thanks to his groupies), Kevin Grady is your Best Bud of the Month for August. Thank you so much, and congratulations, Kevin!

Total THC

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Occasionally, I’ll write one of these blogs, Faith will post it, and then I’ll realize I forgot something important. It’s frustrating. And it happened a few weeks ago when I told you how to tell the good from the bad when it comes to flower (for a refresher, click HERE) because I didn’t say anything about THC percentages… sorry about that.

I used to be a THC snob. Whenever I shopped for flower, the numbers were the first thing I looked at; smell and appearance took a back seat to potency. But those were ignorant days and working in a dispensary has changed my outlook. About a year ago, Sloane suggested that I try some Deep Chunk and I scoffed at the suggestion because the flower barely broke the fifteen-percent mark per THC. Sloane looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “don’t be a THC snob,” so I took her advice, and it was the right thing to do. The high from that flower was complex and perfect, and it was difficult for me to trust THC percentages from that point forward.

The reason is simple: there are well over one-hundred cannabinoids in cannabis, and THC is just one of them. So, the higher the THC percentage climbs, the lower everything else falls. But that’s something I’ve written about before, and now, things have become even more complicated because the scientists have gotten involved.

You see, flower has a very low level of active THC; most of the THC in bud is actually THCa (the acid form of the cannabinoid). When you burn flower, the THCa is decarboxylated by the heat and it turns into THC, which gets you high. Get it? THC needs to be activated by heat to make you feel good (that’s why it doesn’t do anything if you eat a handful of flower). And about a month ago, the scientists thought that THCa converted over evenly into THC. So, hypothetically, if a strain of flower had a 28% THCa percentage, it was thought to give you 28% THC after you smoked it, but that’s not the case.

durango, colorado, the greenery, dispensaries durango, durango dispensaries, durango dispensary, dispensary, dispensariesNow, only .877 of the THCa turns into THC once it’s decarboxylated. So now, when we have a strain of flower that tests at that hypothetical mark of 28% THCa, it’ll be labeled as containing “24.5% Total THC.” Isn’t that confusing? And the reason I’m writing this for you is that this new conversion formula doesn’t apply only to flower—it’s also used to determine the potency of concentrates, and as such, it’s something I get asked about every day as a budtender.

For instance, we’re selling some Zero Gravity shatter right now that contains 799mg of THCa, and a couple months ago, it would’ve been labeled as providing 79.9% THC. But now, after the new conversion, the label says “70.3% total THC.” See what I mean? The percentage for the flower example I gave you really didn’t change that much due to the new equation, but the percentage on the shatter dropped by nearly ten percent. And at least once a day, I encounter an irritated customer who wants to know why our “concentrates are so much weaker than they used to be.”

That’s the frustrating part. At least once a day because it really does look like our Durango dispensary has started selling less-potent concentrates, when really, all we’re doing is using a new mandated formula to figure out total THC.

But you don’t need to worry about that because you’re reading this. And you really don’t need to worry about that because you know We’re Your Best Buds, and if you bring your valid I.D. proving that you’re twenty-one or over into our dispensary at 208 Parker Avenue, one of our knowledgeable budtenders will show you the new labeling requirements and prove that our concentrates are just as potent as they used to be. That’s the type of service and information you get when you come to The Greenery (it’s what makes us different), and frankly, you shouldn’t expect anything less.

July’s Best Bud of the Month

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Faith Frazier

About your Best Bud:

Everyone at The Greenery is a budtender—from the owners all the way down to the lowly guy who writes our blogs, everyone who works here will gladly come up to the front and sell you cannabis with a smile. But until now, every Best Bud you’ve met has been a budtender first and foremost, and today, you get to meet Faith Frazier, our CMO.

Faith is an anomaly. She’s one of those people you stare at trying to find a flaw because it doesn’t feel fair to meet someone who’s so damn good at everything. She’s a happily-married mother of two absurdly cute daughters; she’s brilliant and educated; she’s kind and compassionate, and she’s a valued friend. But professionally speaking, Faith is the reason our Durango dispensary is so popular. She runs our website, she handles all the public outreach, and she forged our brand into something that’s trusted by locals and tourists alike. Honestly, it’s past time that you met Faith:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Faith. “December of 2016.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Faith. “Outdoors. And I prefer a good Sativa.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Faith. “I love skiing, trail running, and floating the river. I really love it all, essentially, but skiing is the best.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Faith. “We have a cat named Fisher who mainly annoys everyone, but he’s a good mouser. We’re also getting a family Lab, and we have the names narrowed down to Lemon, Maisie, Pearl, or Willa. We’re open to suggestions!”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Faith. “Lately, it’s been Leon Bridges, Alabama Shakes, and Tom Petty. But the first concert I went to was New Kids on the Block!”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Faith. “The people; I love getting to interact with people every day by seeing locals and meeting tourists!”

And you know what? People love meeting Faith more than Faith loves meeting people. Her smile will dilute the worst of days, and customers always seem to linger at the counter when Faith is up front. Actually, from the stories we hear, that’s just the way it’s always been. She spent a few months as an exchange student in Mongolia (which just adds to the whole “anomaly” thing), and the entire country loved her. They gave her a tattoo—the back-alley type, complete with a shot-glass full of booze to kill the germs on the needle—of the Mongolian word for “rainbow” because Faith brings color with her wherever she goes.

It’s true. The Greenery is a more colorful, wonderful place because Faith works here, and even though we aren’t gunna give her a tattoo, Faith deserves all the thanks we can throw her way. So, thank you, madame, you’re July’s Best Bud of the Month!

Top Shelf Marijuana in Durango

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Word abuse should be illegal. That way, if someone said “irregardless” or something else nonsensical, real-life grammar police could come along and issue a citation while the rest of us watched and shook our heads slowly. But grammar police aren’t real, and believe it or not, the word “irregardless” has been added to most unabridged dictionaries simply because it’s been said enough times to become a real word; the definition in Webster’s is “regardless.”

And the idiocy doesn’t stop there: if you look closely enough, you can find “gourmet” foods in the gas station, or “artisanal” meals in the frozen foods aisle. I mean seriously, is a TV dinner actually “artisanal” if you have to microwave it? Does the raw cardboard packaging really mean that what’s inside is somehow better than anything else you find next to the frozen waffles? No. It’s just advertising, word-doctoring, and it’s insidious, when you think about it.

True, I work in sales and advertising, so it’s possible that I’ve gerrymandered semantics a time or two, but in the end, I’ve found that honesty really is the best policy—gas station “gourmet” food will get you sick, and then just a little bit, the word “gourmet” loses some of its meaning, which is the reason word abuse should be illegal in the first place.

It’s no better in the marijuana industry. There are plenty of dispensaries that throw around the word “organic” even though their products are anything but (since marijuana is federally illegal, it isn’t regulated by the FDA, so people use the word “organic” without oversight). But the worst case of word abuse in this industry is the misuse of the term “top shelf marijuana.” It’s frustrating, so please pay attention to this: marijuana cannot be “top-shelf marijuana” just because someone put it on the top shelf. It irks me to no end because at least once a day, someone will come in and ask why our top-shelf strains are costlier than the ones downtown.

I’m always kind to these customers, because after I thought about it for a while, I realized it wasn’t their fault—they’d been lied to thanks to all the false advertising in other Durango dispensaries, and if anything, they deserve the truth (literally, I have a T shirt that says “grammar police” on the front). So, I take my time with these misguided customers, and I tell them this:

At The Greenery, our top-shelf marijuana is on the top shelf because it’s the best cannabis on earth.

My boss would get uber pissed at me if I told you exactly how we operate our grow because that’s the kind of knowledge people pay us to learn, but I can tell you that we’re straight-up scientists: our growers run around and shoot lasers at our plants to make sure the canopy temperature is perfect; we drop particulate gasses on the fanleaves of our plants to help them breathe; we use light-emitting ceramic bulbs and engineered growing mediums and all sorts of super-secret stuff, but I’ve already said too much. My point here is that our buds really are Your Best Buds because there’s no shelf in Durango that’s higher than our top shelf.

Why? The other guys use hydroponics and nasty-ass greenhouse grows just so they can pump out as much mid-range pot as they can. The other guys don’t take their time when they’re trimming or curing. The other guys take subpar pot, slap a “top shelf” label on it, and then piss me off because like I said, word abuse should be illegal. Yes, you’ll pay more for true top-shelf cannabis, but that’s how life works. Good beer costs more than the stuff with a blue ribbon on the front, good food costs more than the frozen stuff, and good marijuana costs more than the pesticide-sprayed stuff that’s sold elsewhere in this town. I’m sure that sounds harsh, but it’s true.

So come see us at our Durango dispensary on 208 Parker Avenue and talk to one of our budtenders. We’ll take our time and show you the difference between our “top shelf” and all the others. We’ll let you smell the difference between ours and theirs, and once you smoke it and taste the terpene-rich awesomeness, the term “top shelf marijuana” will start to mean something again.

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May’s Best Bud of the Month

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Jesse Anderson
Sales Manager, Staff Writer, Budtender, Guy Who Vacuums the Warehouse

For this particular blog, our normal blogging mastermind had to take a back seat. It’s finally his turn to be our Best Bud! He actually offered to write his own profile, but alas, we could not allow any such thing. So here we go…

About your Best Bud:

Jesse is a man of many wonders, and a few oddities, but we love him all the same. His Alaska roots show in his honest and easy demeanor, his role as a father shines in his kind and compassionate interactions with others, and his freakishly large brain acts as an in-house cannabis supercomputer spewing out fact after fact on everything and anything related to marijuana.

If you’ve had the pleasure of being helped in our Durango dispensary by Jesse, you know exactly what I mean. Or if you’ve purchased wholesale hash from Jesse, you know what I mean. Or if you’ve been lucky enough to read his weekly blogs, you know what I mean. He’s pretty damn awesome and that’s why Jesse is our (long overdue) Best Bud of the Month!

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Jesse. “April 27th, 2017.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Jesse. “I’m a huge fan of fruity flower like Strawberry Banana, and I’m old, so I smoke joints. But as a father who appreciates discretion, I also love the PAX Era vape system we just started selling, and edibles are always fun.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Jesse. “I try to keep up with my wife while she mountain bikes ahead of me, but I only pretend to like it, and if I’m being honest, I’d much rather be people-watching because this town is perfect for it.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Jesse. “We have a nine-weeks-old black Pug puppy named Yoda who spends his time looking ridiculously cute and pooping on things.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Jesse. “I always let other people pick the music while I work because I’m the type of person who listens to songs over and over again, and I got sick of my music years ago.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Jesse. “I love that I can be myself while working here because I had to be someone else in my past career. And I love traveling the state while I sell The Greenery Hash Factory’s hash on the wholesale market—I never thought a career like this could exist legally, and at least once a day, I say to myself, ‘take that, guidance counselor.’”

See, guidance counselor, Jesse turned out to be more than employed, he’s an asset that we are thankful for every day. He’s also a rad dad and husband (side note, his wife is also super cool), and I think our world could use a lot more Jesses.

Visit our Durango dispensary and ask Jesse to help you out. You will learn more than you could have imagined about cannabis and you will leave feeling a little better about the world. As Jesse says, ‘How could you not be happy? We are selling legal marijuana!’.

March’s Best Bud of the Month

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Sloane Burdick
Manufacturing Lead (Supreme Commander of Hash)

About your Best Bud:

Sloane is the funny one. Or maybe Sloane is the artsy one, or the wild one, the fun one. Or maybe Sloane is the cool one, the one who’s real, albeit a little unfettered. Or maybe Sloane can’t really be classified as “this” or “that” one, like most people walking the streets. Know what I mean?

Picture all your friends standing in a field. Now pick out “the dumb one.” How long did that take you? A millisecond? It was easy for you because people like to pigeonhole other people. That’s what we do; we’re natural-born categorizers.

But Sloane doesn’t really fit into any of those pigeonholes. She takes up four or five of them with her complexity, with the depth of her personality, and to interview her was a delight:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Sloane. “November of 2015.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Sloane. “I love Strawberry Cough in the bong. I love the glass and the cold water, and the way it makes the smoke cleaner.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Sloane. “Taking pictures when I’m in my car or when I’m hiking. Or riding my cruiser ‘Pinkie Tuscadero.’ You know, like the character from Happy Days. It’s got hot-pink wheels and grips.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Sloane. “I have an evil kitty named Betty Beans, aka ‘B.B. McFuzz Pants,’ because who doesn’t give their animals multiple names?”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Sloane. “We use YouTube for music. And really, I should be honest: mostly, I listen to Sturgill Simpson. It’s a problem.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Sloane. “I love normalizing the world of cannabis. I’m a single mom in my forties, and I make hash for a living. I’m making this life normal, just as it should be.”

These interviews always get awkward right at the end. It’s important to include a story about the interviewee, something anecdotal that’ll help you get to know a team member here at The Greenery. But it’s a difficult question to answer when you’re on the spot:

Q. Would you share with us a story that’ll forever immortalize you on the internet? Something interesting that’ll pretty much define you as a human being? Something that’ll be read by all your coworkers and friends and the government, because you know they’re watching, right?
Sloane. “Um… there are lots of stories,” her laugh sounded like experience, “but one time, the school bus stopped to pick me up when I was almost forty. I told the guy I was on my way to work, but he thought I was a teen. He drove away, and I could see all the kids through their windows. They were laughing and watching me as their heads turned while the bus drove away.”

Most of us know for a fact that the school-bus story doesn’t define Sloane (there’re much better ones, like the one with the Scottish people or the one that ends with a lot of laughs, like most of them do), but the fact she chose this particular story says a lot. It’s a slice, a little snippet of Sloane’s hilarity that says something about her rather than about what happened to her, and that’s just cool.

***

To the people who don’t work in this Durango dispensary, Sloane is the woman who makes Moroccan Hash for The Greenery Hash Factory, along with a whole slue of other exotic concentrates. But to us, she’s part of this company, part of it’s soul, and even though Sloane doesn’t fit into a pigeonhole, she fits in here. And that’s why Sloane Burdick is your Durango dispensary Best Bud of the Month for March; congratulations Sloane!

Make sure to check out Sloane’s artwork HERE!

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February’s Best Bud of the Month

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Clay Siekman, aka ‘The Pot Whisperer’
Cultivation Plant Manager

About your Best Bud:

Clay is a pot whisperer. He hasn’t worked behind the counter for a while because he took over at our grow, but back in the day, people simply didn’t know how lucky they were when they bought pot from Clay. They’d come in, look at the ten strains on our menu for a minute, and then they’d say something like:

“Which one would you recommend?”

“Um, what type of high are you looking for?” Clay would ask. He’d always hold his chin between his thumb and forefinger like a detective, the other hand on his hip.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” Clay would say, usually with a gesticulation or two, “are you looking for something relaxing? Something energetic?”

And this is where customers would mess up; they simply didn’t know they were talking to a pot whisperer who could tell them exactly what type of high came from each strain. Seriously, you should read this guy’s strain reviews—they’re precise and profound, almost like they were written by a sage who divined the essence of each strain with a spell of some sort.

If those customers would’ve realized who they were dealing with, they could’ve said something like, “I’d like a strain that goes well with old action movies on a Tuesday night,” or, “the left side of my head hurts and I want the perfect pot to pair with tacos.” And then Clay could’ve instantly suggested the most fitting strain available.

He really does know pot that well, but now, you should get to know him:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Clay. “October of 2016.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Clay. “I love bongs. And my favorite strain is Green Crack, which is wonderful because we’re growing it right now, and we should have it ready to sell in our dispensary in a few months. But if I had to pick an edible, it’d be the Coda coffee and donuts that we sell at the shop.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Clay. “Skiing, hiking, camping.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Clay. “I have a thirteen-years-old pug named Buddy. All he does is sleep and eat all day; he’s fat and old.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Clay. “Hip-hop jams!”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Clay. “I love the community that’s been built up around this industry. It’s great. I love being around likeminded people, both behind the counter and in front of it. Everyone who’s involved in this industry is incredible, and I love being a part of it.”

Frankly, this industry should love that Clay is a part of it, not the other way around, because the guy is a blessing. It took him about a year and a half to climb through our ranks, morphing from the shy kid behind the counter into the confident man running every aspect of our cultivation facility, and we’re just lucky he’s part of our brand.

And it’s not like a few of the regulars didn’t figure out that Clay was a pot whisperer, because after he left for greener pastures, people would come in and ask for him by name—they wondered where that “nice kid who gives good advice” went, and many of them missed the expert guidance he gave. Of course, his shoes were filled by other budtenders who are equally passionate about pot, and of course, we’d rather have Clay right where he is, whispering to our plants as they grow under his expert care. And that’s why Clay Siekman is Your Best Bud for February. Congratulations, Clay!

 

Stoners and Stigmas

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I recently met a man in our dispensary who builds skyscrapers in Cincinnati. He started small, of course, building his business out of the back of his truck, but after a few decades of work, real work, he found freedom. He landed the type of life that allows him to fly to Durango on his private jet—a G6, like the one Pitbull raps about—to spend the weekend here just for the hell of it, buying a fistful of tickets for his friends so they could all ride that railroad of ours on a whim. And this man was carefree. He asked me if cameras were allowed (of course they are!), and then he asked his wife to take his picture. She shook her head slowly with disappointment, the way wives do, and she asked the man what would happen if his employees saw the picture, or worse yet, his mother. His answer sticks with me:

“This is how I party, and there’s nothing wrong with marijuana. I’ve worked hard my whole life to stand here holding this pot, and anybody who has a problem with it can go fill in the blank.

Such a statement sounds inelegant at first, but really, it’s a beautiful declaration of honesty and freedom. So, the man’s wife smiled in that long-suffering way that only comes from love, and then she took his picture. The man shook my hand, put thirty dollars in our tip cup, and then walked out with his bag of weed in one hand, his wife’s bejeweled fingers in the other.

And even more recently, I met four men in our dispensary who flew here together on their private jet from Houston. They were tall and gracile in their leather boots, laughing and slapping backs, and they looked like they came from old money, the kind that’s black and bubbled up in their grandparents’ backyard. The four men flew in for the snow, but when they couldn’t find any, they decided to get high instead. They walked into our dispensary and saw something kindred in me, I guess, because each man made sure to shake my hand and get my name. I sold them edibles and vape pens and a whole panoply of pot products, and I threw in a couple koozies for fun, thinking men from Texas might find them especially useful.

I went to the bar later than night with my wife and a few friends on one of those random trips out, and as soon as I walked into The Ranch, I heard a loud chorus of “Jesse!!!” from the back of the bar. Those four guys from Texas were standing around the pool table, holding up beers wrapped snuggly in koozies that said, “The Greenery.” I introduced them to my wife (she shook her head slowly at my new friends, the way wives do), and we played pool for a while, right before they jumped back on their jet for another trip to find skiable snow.

Look, I know I’m rambling, but the picture I’m painting for you here proves that “stoners” aren’t always what you’d expect. Yes, wooks exist and their hippie magic is frightful, but for the most part, people who smoke pot are just like people who don’t smoke pot. I kid you not, I’ve sold to priests and teachers and surgeons and diplomats, and if not for the fact that each of them stood in front of me and bought marijuana, it wouldn’t have been possible to tell they were stoners, as if being one were a bad thing in the first place.

So why is the term “stoner” still a negative thing? Is it thanks to the stigma the bad guys birthed to justify their righteously unjust war on drugs? Probably.

Don’t worry, I’m not gunna get all preachy and complain about the fallacy of prohibition, but I do want to address the anti-pot stigma that seems to be sticking around like a virulent flu. I think this might be the seventh time I’ve put it in writing, but marijuana is medicine, and if not for that pesky stigma, this medicine could help more people. From the sweet old lady with tired hands who could find reprieve from her arthritis with a cannabis salve, but doesn’t, to the stage-four cancer patient who could find relief with marijuana, but never does: there are plenty of people out there denying themselves something legal and effective simply because of the stigma. Doesn’t that suck?

And that same stigma stops some people from getting high recreationally too, you know, for no other reason than to feel abnormally good, and that’s a travesty too. Because guess what? Pot is awesome. It makes good days better, and it doesn’t come with a hangover. Most of us at The Greenery smoke the stuff loud and proud because we have more pressing matters to worry about than stigmas, but that’s a luxury. Not everybody lives in a place like this or has a job like this, and that stigma is heavier for them.

But I want you to know that we’re trying to fix that. There are real life badasses who toil here behind the scenes. They stay in the backrooms of our dispensary and they write letters and lobby law makers, and they do their damnedest to defeat that annoying “stoner” stigma we’ve been living with for years. I’m not making that up, even though it sounds a little cryptic; we even have a consulting service that helps people in other states figure out the legal weed game. Cool, right?

So, don’t worry. There’s no stigma in our shop. We won’t judge you for a damn thing when you walk in, even if you’ve been putting off your first experience with cannabis for seventy years (which is something I heard from a customer just last week). Our people are professional and forthright, and we do our best to break the “stoner” stereotype daily with our service, because We’re Your Best Buds!

January’s Best Bud of the Month, or “Ms. January”

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TJ Grau
Budtender, Dispensary Mom

About your Best Bud:

You know that type of life everybody wants to live, but few people ever do because they’re too afraid? Well, TJ took that type of life by the hair and dragged it along behind her. Seriously, this woman has stories. From performing anal cavity checks as a nurse in a Key West prison to loading ammunition for Desert Storm, from being a ranch hand to the type of bartender who pours shots while walking back and forth on the bar, she’s done everything. Literally. Frankly, selling pot for a living is just another box to be checked for the female version of that interesting guy in those Dos Equis commercials, and this introduction simply isn’t going to do TJ justice, so it’s best to just jump right into the Q&A:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
TJ. “July of last year. Now I’ve worked here for six months!”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
TJ. “I love the bong, and I love loading it with Pakistani from our grow. And sometimes, I like to put a little sativa Moroccan Hash in it too, just to get that sativa and indica high.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
TJ. “Fishing. Definitely. I looooove fishing. That, and painting.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
TJ. “My favorite pets are tall, dark, and handsome. I have one right now that looks good in a pair of Wranglers.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
TJ. “Probably the blues.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
TJ. “I love selling pot, I really, really do, and I love the people I work with. Everybody at The Greenery is my Colorado family.”

And it really does feel that way. When we sat down to do this quick and dirty interview, TJ first made sure I wasn’t hungry, offering me a zucchini brownie or “maybe something else a little later,” since I was full right then. She’s always doing that, walking around with genuine care written on her face, trying to pump us all full of soup or snacks or motherly love, and it makes everyone feel warm and welcome. She can erase anxiety from the face of a first-time shopper with a smile and a pet name like “honey,” and the Google reviews for TJ keep rolling in, written by people who spent only moments with her, but were moved so deeply that they went home and took the time to write something about the kind woman with sparkling eyes who loved selling them pot.

The truth is that TJ’s presence has changed this place. She always walks in with a laugh and asks everyone how they’re doing in an empathetic way that doesn’t sound like small talk; she’s always congratulating coworkers for their successes, or offering advice to ward off failures; she’s always complimenting and hugging and doing those little things that make the workday wonderful. Hell, even the music changed when TJ started working at The Greenery—she leavened our alternative nonsense with blues and old-school grit—and we’re forever in her debt for the life she pumped into our team. And that’s why TJ Grau is Your Best Bud for January (or “Ms. January,” as she’s been calling herself lately). So, thank you, TJ, you’re fearless and a true friend to the rest of us, and we’re honored to have you as our Best Bud!

Our Ganja Goddess!

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