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Marijuana for Valentine’s Day

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Marijuana for Valentine’s Day

You clicked the button saying you were over 21 to enter our site, which means it’s safe to assume we’re all adults, so I’m just going to come out and say it: you have no idea how often sex comes up in my everyday conversations with customers. They’ll lean in across the counter and give me an embarrassed look before saying something like, “so, which strain is good for… you know what?” and after a couple years behind the counter, trust me, yes, I “know what.” That being said, it’s a difficult question to answer because everyone is so different, so what works for someone per “you know what” might not work for someone else, and oddly enough, I’ve found that gender plays a huge role.

Now, I’m about to make a few generalizations, but please don’t think I subscribe to stereotypes—it’s just that the feedback I’ve received from customers supports what I’m about to say, so don’t judge me. Here it is: when it comes to cannabis for sex, I’ve found that women prefer indica strains as where men prefer the sativa designation. I’m sure that sounds weird, but if you think about it, it makes sense. Sativa strains are known for the energetic vigor they can give smokers, which is exactly what dudes are looking for, but sativa strains can also get in your head and make you feel a bit self-conscious, which is the last thing a woman wants during intimacy. And when it comes to indica strains, the soothing body high is enticing to the ladies, but the deflating relaxation is a bit scary for the dudes. See what I mean?

But really, I’ve gotten off track. The real reason I started writing this is that a customer came in this morning and asked if we had any upcoming Valentine’s Day specials, and the gentleman who came in right afterwards asked for suggestions per which marijuana products he should put in his wife’s Valentine’s Day gift basket. So, I figured I’d answer both questions in a blog just in case a few of you might have the same questions, but I wanted to first answer the “you know what” question in writing in case you’ve been too embarrassed to ask, and because it’s apropos given the meaning behind Valentine’s Day. But I digress; I’ll get back on track.

Let’s start with the Valentine’s Day specials: starting Friday, 2/14, and ending Sunday, 2/16, we’re offering a 25% discount on all Sweet CO2 products in our Durango dispensary. This means you can save 25% on CO2 oil vape cartridges, 1g CO2 oil syringes, and CBD capsules throughout the Valentine’s Day weekend. It’s a Sweet deal; get it?

Also starting on Valentine’s Day is a 25% discount on Binske gummies, making these 100mg THC gummies $18 out the door. Plus, they come in a fancy reusable tin. This deal runs through February 28th.

And there’s more. Since Valentine’s Day is on a Friday, if you spend $50 before tax, you can pick up a 1g joint for $1. And our monthly specials are good on Valentine’s Day as well, so you can still take advantage of our “buy one, get one half-off” deal on Altus Tablets, and you can still take 30% off Aliviar lotion, just in case you’d like to give your partner a foot rub with cannabis-infused lotion on the special day.

There. That answers the first question I got today, so, now onto the “which cannabis products would make a good Valentine’s day gift for my wife?” question. And yes, I’m going to focus on what to buy for women, not for men, because men are easy: buy them something that’ll get them high, and you’ll be good to go. But women? That’s a little trickier. I mean, if you got your lady friend a gram of shatter for Valentine’s Day, yeah, she might like it if she’s the dabbing type, but most women I know would think you phoned in your gift selection, so you’ll need to try harder. But please don’t second guess your decision to shop for your partner at a dispensary, because I promise it can be romantic, and I promise that a huge percentage of the women out there would prefer our marijuana flower over flowers, so you’ve come to the right place. And to take the guesswork out of the equation, I went ahead and came up with five gift ideas that are sure to please (you’re welcome). Here you go.

The best marijuana gifts for Valentine’s Day.

1.) Foria Pleasure

It’s always a bit awkward to answer the “what is Foria?” question when it pops up in our dispensary after someone sees it sitting on the shelf, so I’m glad I get to do it in writing: Foria is a THC-infused “arousal oil” that’s formulated for women. This is taken directly from Foria’s website, so these are their words not mine, but it’s said that Pleasure “enhances tactile sensations while decreasing tension, discomfort, and dryness,” so it’s obvious why the Foria Pleasure would fit well in a Valentine’s Day gift basket.

2.) 1906 Love Beans

These are dark chocolate covered coffee beans, and they’re awesome. Granted, the caffeine might keep you up a night, but who knows? Maybe that’s what you’re looking for on Valentine’s Day. Anyway, each Love Bean delivers 5mg THC/CBD that’s water-soluble for rapid absorption, but more importantly, these beans are infused with four different “plant medicines;” that’s where the “Love” comes from. The plant medicines are Damiana, Muira Puma Catuba, Ashwagandha, and Theobromine. Now I can’t cite any peer-reviewed studies to prove the effects of these additives, so please take this with a grain of salt, but these compounds are supposed to increase everything from stamina to libido, which goes hand-in-hand with the gift above, so our Valentine’s Day basket is off to a good start.

3.) Mary Jane’s Massage Oil

If I have to tell you why massage oil would make a good valentine’s Day gift, you’re probably hopeless, so I won’t get into that. But this stuff is wonderful—the oil itself is perfect for massages, and it’s packed with tons of THC and CBD for a little something extra. This one is a no-brainer.

4.) Coda Signature Truffles

I know it’s a cliché to give your Valentine a box of chocolates, but what about a box of chocolates that gets you high? That’s next level, and you could even put a new twist on the “flowers and chocolates” motif by gifting marijuana “flower” and these chocolates. Fun, right? And the flavors available in these hand-painted truffles are insane: Juniper and Lemon, Burnt Caramel, Earl Grey and Honey, Hazelnut, Passion Fruit, and Tiramisu.

5.) Blue Dream Flower

And if you’re looking for the “flower” portion of the aforementioned “flowers and chocolates” theme, I’d go with Blue Dream—we grow it and sell it, and ours is the best. Remember what I said about men and women versus sativa or indica? Well, Blue Dream is a perfect hybrid; it lives in the goldilocks zone in between the two designations. It’s relaxing for the ladies, but not too much for the guys—it’s stimulating for the gentlemen, but not too thought-inducing for the gals. And frankly, it’s better to buy one strain for both partners instead of one for each, because smoking together before you “get together” is less isolating than smoking different strains apart. Know what I mean?

And that’s that! Please come see us at 208 Parker Avenue for that perfect cannabis-related Valentine’s Day gift (and if you’re single and you’d rather spend the special day high than sober, you should come see us, too). Either way, we’ll have plenty of specials and perfect gifts for your day of love, because We’re Your Best Buds!

A Good Day with Cannabis

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Do you remember that “It Was a Good Day” song by Ice Cube? If not, it’s a classic, and you need to listen to it immediately, but if you do, I apologize for getting it stuck in your head. But the reason I ask is that recently, I read a news story wherein a bunch of rap nerds got together and figured out exactly which day Ice Cube was talking about: it was January 20th, 1992.

They used all the clues in the song to figure it out: there was “no smog,” Yo! MTV Raps was on TV, the Lakers beat the Super Sonics, and Ice Cube got a page on his beeper from Kim. If you figure out the song’s release date, look at the years when beepers were used, check the stats for Lakers wins, and the weather report for smog, you get the exact “good day.” Of course, back in 2012 when Ice Cube gave an interview about the song, he said it was a fictional day, but that’s not why I’m writing this: in his song, Ice Cube mentions the “chronic,” which is a prerequisite for any “good day.” That got me thinking about the perfect day with cannabis—a day you can plan and enjoy intentionally, because sometimes, good days need to be forced. So, if I were to plan the perfect day with cannabis, this is how I’d do it:

Step one, wake-and-bake. There’s nothing wrong with pot in the morning, and anyone who says otherwise hasn’t tried it. On lazy Sundays, I like to wake up with a good Bubble Gum joint, or something else sativa-dominant, and we sell them for $10 out-the-door here in our Durango dispensary. And then after I put out my joint to save for later (smoking an entire gram in the morning might cut the day a bit short), I’d mix a packet of Lucky Turtle 1:1 Honey into my coffee. These single serving packs of honey cost $9, and they deliver 10mg of THC and CBD. Granted, if you’d prefer fewer than 10mg in the morning (or if you don’t like overly-sweet coffee), just use half the packet. And timing is important: the high from your joint will last about an hour and a half, and it’ll take the honey about an hour and a half to kick in fully, so drink that coffee right after you put down the joint—for the perfect good day, a high must be maintained.

The next step would be to go out and see the world. I like having my wife drive me around to thrift shops and breakfast places while I marvel at the bright day, couched comfortably in my buzz (but if you stop for breakfast, remember, there’s nothing wrong with bacon even though Ice Cube’s good day started when mom cooked breakfast with “no hog”). Then we go home to do chores and watch daytime TV; this is when my vape pen comes into play. I like to keep a terpene-rich distillate pen in my pocket, something like the Craft Reserve from O.pen that’s on our menu, and I lean towards the hybrid side of things as the day creeps by. I’ll take a puff or two when normalcy starts to creep back in, and it’ll carry me through to lunch when I smash a BLT and then load a bowl. Just like with the vape pen, my midday bowl is always a perfect hybrid, something like Blue Dream, because that even balance between mental energy and physical relaxation pairs perfectly with noontime.

This is when I start watching something campy like “Ancient Aliens” (as it turns out, the History Channel would have you believe aliens are responsible for just about everything except pot). As the day gets older, I smoke and vape as needed, but if you’re a fan of baths, I’d recommend throwing some THC bath salt into the mix. We sell a rejuvenating bath salt that’s infused with eucalyptus and cannabis, it’ll soothe you until nighttime rolls around, because that’s when it’s time to kick things up a notch.

Next, for dark nights, I like dark hash, like a good Moroccan or an Indica-dominant bubble hash. And that’s pretty convenient given that we operate our own Hash Factory, and we’re the only company in Colorado that manufactures and distributes classic concentrates such as Moroccan or Lebanese hash. So, to start my perfect evening to cap off that good day, I’d throw a pinch of Moroccan on top of a deep Indica like Pakistani Chitral Kush, smoke it, and then wait for the mind-numbing, body sedating high to knock me down into the couch (these days, it’s the only way to make the nightly news bearable). And then right before bed, I’d eat a brownie from Love’s Oven. They’re made with canna-butter which is difficult to find these days, they totally count as a desert, and the relaxing high would keep me sleeping through the night. Boom; the perfect end to a good day with cannabis (and there’s no law saying you can’t have two days like this in a row, so wake up and repeat as necessary).

But this good day isn’t possible without cannabis, so come see us first. We’re located at 208 Parker Avenue right here in Durango, and we’re open every day (for hours, click HERE). Just make sure to bring your valid, government-issued I.D. proving that you’re 21 or older, because good days with cannabis are for grownups only. And remember, We’re Your Best Buds!

Bringing Back the Old-School

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It’s a tired platitude, but necessity really is the mother of all invention. And back in the good ol’ days, there was plenty of “necessity” lying around when it came to cannabis because you couldn’t simply walk into a store like our Durango dispensary and buy weed; those were dark times. And it was just as difficult at times to find paraphernalia because headshops weren’t as ubiquitous as they are now. So, if you were lucky enough to score some pot from “a guy” but you didn’t have a pipe, you had to get creative. Or, if you had a pipe but no weed, you had to do the same. Granted, all of that is gone now because we have more dispensaries in Colorado than we do Starbucks and McDonald’s locations combined, but a few of those tricks from the old days are worth holding onto even though they aren’t necessary. Let me explain.

Let’s start with the “have a pipe but no weed scenario.” Back in the day, when we ran out, we’d scrape our pipes, collect the sticky black resin, and then smoke it. Resin burns like tar and the high is sedating like a hash-high, but it’s kinda gross. However, there was a silver lining to that tar-black cloud: most people walked around with clean pipes thanks to the times when they ran out. Nowadays, since pot is everywhere, people walk around with dirty pipes, which is just as bad as smoking resin. The heat from your lighter burns a bit of the buildup under the bowl, and all your pot starts to taste the same. So, two pieces of advice: clean your bowl regularly, and your pipe occasionally. Right after smoking, while the bowl is still warm, shove a paper towel down into the bowl and twist it; doing so will clean out all the resin and leave a fresh bowl for the next session. And if you notice that your hits start to taste a bit musky, boil your pipe in some hot water (or soak it in a solution of rubbing alcohol and salt) to clean out all that resin that we used to collect and smoke. Your taste buds will thank you.

Now, the “have pot but not a pipe” scenario is much more fun. I’ve made pipes out of everything from soda cans to fish tanks, even though the former probably took a couple years off my life because of the paint on the can and the latter was a bit ridiculous. And nowadays, there’s really no excuse to not a have a pipe (we sell a few for eight bucks in our shop), but you never know, it could happen (especially if you’re clumsy and you have a glass pipe). So, as a suggestion, smoke out of an apple.

Yeah, it sounds weird, but I’m sure you’ve heard older stoners talk about apple pipes, and old people usually know what they’re talking about. Step 1: pull the stem out of the apple, and then shove a pen down into the core. Don’t use the tip, and press it in until it goes almost all the way through. Step 2: press your pen into the top of the apple until the two holes in the apple meet, and then dig out a little bowl at the top of the second hole. Step 3: put some flower into the bowl, and then smoke it (by inhaling through the first hole). An apple pipe is obviously a one-time thing, but there’s an added bonus: the hits taste like apples. Fun, right?

But I know what you’re thinking: this is pointless because they sell papers at gas stations and you’d take a joint over smoking out of an apple any day. True. But because nobody runs out of joints these days (they’re $10 each in our shop and a gram a piece), something else from the old-school is being lost: generation joints.

Back in the day, we’d throw all our roaches (the small, leftover part of the joint that’s hard to smoke) into a pill bottle. When we ran out of flower, we’d bust out that pill bottle, break open all the roaches, and then roll all the flower into a “generation joint,” which is named thusly because it’s the second time, or “generation,” that the flower has been smoked. The flower in a roach is coated with resin, which is nothing more than activated THC, so it’s more potent; the high is much deeper and stronger with a generation joint than with a regular joint. These days, all the pre-rolls you buy in a dispensary have a crutch in the tip (a little rolled piece of cardboard that works as a mouthpiece), so it’s much easier to smoke all the flower in a modern-day joint, but if you find that there’s a little bit left over, I’d listen to me and get a pill bottle. Generation joints need to be brought back by all you millennials because they’re wonderful.

Alright, now on to something interesting: heel hash. This will sound disgusting but bear with me. Way-back-when, you couldn’t just walk into a store and buy hash. I know; it sounds crazy, but it’s true. So, we’d collect kief (all the crystals that fall off the flower in the container or collects on the screen in your grinder). And then we’d put the kief into a cellophane bag (like the one that comes on a pack of cigarettes), fold-up and tape the bag so it was sealed, and then put it in the bottom of a shoe. If you walk around on it all day, the heat and repeated pressure would turn the kief into hash… don’t judge me.

Or better yet, if you take that kief, put it in between two pieces of parchment paper and then press it with a hair straightener, you can make rosin at home (a full-burn hash you can dab), which is perfectly legal to do. Yeah, this tidbit is a little pointless as well given that we sell professionally-made rosin in our shop for $30 per gram out-the-door and you won’t need a hair straightener, but who knows? Maybe you have a bunch of kief in your stashbox and you’re looking for something to do. If so, you’re welcome.

See? Some of the things we came up with before cannabis was legalized in Colorado are worth keeping even though they’re no longer necessary—after all, you shouldn’t throw the baby out with the bong water (or something like that). And just about everyone who works at The Greenery has been around the block per the ways of an old-school smoker, so if you’d like some advice on homemade pipes, or if you’d like to come buy some kief for homemade hash, come see us at 208 Parker avenue and bring your valid I.D. proving that you’re 21 or older. We’ll send you on your way with a few old-school tips, because We’re Your Best Buds!

Different Marijuana Strains

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Please keep an open mind when I tell you this: it’s very important to stop thinking that you really like a specific strain just because you “tried it this one time” and really liked it. And it’s also important to stop thinking that you don’t like a strain because you didn’t like it that “one time.” Trust me.

I can’t tell you how many times it’s happened to me. A customer will walk in and ask something like, “what’s your best sativa strain right now?” I’ll say something like, “the White Widow is wonderful,” to which this hypothetical customer will respond, “oh, no thank you; I tried some White Widow once and it was horrible.” This is when I take a deep breath and explain that not all White Widows are created equally, but what I really want to do is say this:

Imagine two White Widow seeds siting on a table. A monkey walks up to the table and takes home one of the seeds; he grows it in a ditch and waters it with barbecue sauce. The other seed is taken home by a scientist. He grows it professionally in his lab under specifically engineered lights while controlling the CO2 in the air to increase photosynthesis. Now, if you were to wait until both plants were mature, and then set them side-by-side, they’d look nothing alike. If you smoked a little of each, they’d neither taste nor smell anything alike (the monkey’s pot would remind you of brisket). And the high that came from each plant would differ greatly.

Do you see what I’m getting at? We’re the scientists in this situation. It doesn’t mean that you won’t like our White Widow just because you didn’t like the White Widow you got from a monkey elsewhere. After all, way back when, growers named the strains they bred simply to keep track of them, and because it was cool. But now, those names have morphed into brands, and as such, people think they know what to expect from a certain strain. Nothing could be further from the truth, so as a PSA, I’d like to tell you this: when it comes to cannabis strains, the name isn’t nearly as important as most people think. What matters is who grew the plant, and how they did it.

This is especially important for you strain-chasers out there because, for an example, there are about three Durango dispensaries selling Gorilla Glue #4 right now, but you’ll pay different prices per gram at each place. This is frustrating because shoppers will chase the lowest price thinking that all strains of Gorilla Glue #4 are the same because they share a name, which is simply false. Think about it this way: Pabst Blue Ribbon is a lager, and you can buy a thirty-pack for about $17. Samuel Adams’ Utopias is also a lager, but it costs $150 for a single bottle. Not all lagers are equal in price or quality in the same way that not all Gorilla Glue #4 strains are equal. And a few months ago, I wrote a blog on how to identify high-quality cannabis (you can read it HERE), but this week, I wanted to give you a few pointers on how to tell if the pot you’re about to smoke es no bueno. So, watch out for these three things:

1.) “PM,” or “powdery mildew.” PM looks exactly like it sounds (a white powder), and to the untrained eye, PM can look like trichomes, which are the white crystals you want on your pot. True, the state requires all flower to be tested for microbials before a batch of bud can be sold recreationally, but you’ll still find PM on recreational bud, especially if you’re buying the cheap stuff. The reason for this is that after the flower passes its microbial test, and after it’s sent to a dispensary, it can sit there for months which gives trace amounts of PM time to grow. Disclaimer: THIS NEVER HAPPENS AT THE GREENERY! We take the small-batch approach with our growing and ordering, so our flower always sells out while it’s fresh. You’re welcome.

2.) Aphids. I’m not joking: I’ve seen recreational flower sold in Colorado that’s crawling with bugs. So, look at your pot—if it’s moving, it’s no good. The state also requires that all recreational flower be tested for residual pesticides, so I guess some people might be passing that test by simply letting the bugs have free-range. Gross.

3.) Brown Leaves. When the green on flower is replaced by brown, it means one of three things happened: either the pot was burned by the fertilizers, or the grow lights, or the flower wasn’t cured properly. For the record, brown pot won’t hurt you, but if you see brown edges on the flower, it’s a likely sign that the terpene or THC content is lower than it should be. So, again, if you’re hunting around for some Gorilla Glue #4, try paying attention to the color more so than the price; it’s just good advice. I’ve written blog after blog about The Greenery Grow, but just as a reminder, you should click HERE to learn about why you’ll never have to check our flower for any of these three detractors.

The last reason you shouldn’t get stuck on a single strain because you liked it “that one time” is availability. Thanks to rampant crossbreeding, there are well over 4,000 strains of marijuana available recreationally in Colorado. So, if you were to walk into a dispensary looking for a particular strain, the chances of actually finding it are one in four thousand—statistically speaking, you have the same chances of finding your strain as you would flipping a quarter twelve times and having it land on heads each time. That doesn’t happen very often.

So, instead of walking into a shop and then turning away when they don’t have the strain you’re looking for, ask for something similar. In our Durango dispensary, we train our budtenders on how to look up a strain and its reported effects; they can also figure out your favorite strain’s lineage. We make our budtenders smoke every strain we offer (it’s a rough life) so they can become familiar with what we sell, and I promise that each budtender you’ll meet here can find you a strain that’s similar to (or better than) the strain you’re looking for. So, if you’re stuck in a rut with a favorite strain, or if you want to find the absolute best representation of your favorite strain, come see us at 208 Parker Avenue right here in Bodo Park (please bring your valid I.D. proving that you’re over 21). We’ll help you find what you’re looking for and we’ll explain why quality matters more than price or a name, because We’re Your Best Buds!