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May’s Best Bud of the Month

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Jesse Anderson
Sales Manager, Staff Writer, Budtender, Guy Who Vacuums the Warehouse

For this particular blog, our normal blogging mastermind had to take a back seat. It’s finally his turn to be our Best Bud! He actually offered to write his own profile, but alas, we could not allow any such thing. So here we go…

About your Best Bud:

Jesse is a man of many wonders, and a few oddities, but we love him all the same. His Alaska roots show in his honest and easy demeanor, his role as a father shines in his kind and compassionate interactions with others, and his freakishly large brain acts as an in-house cannabis supercomputer spewing out fact after fact on everything and anything related to marijuana.

If you’ve had the pleasure of being helped in our Durango dispensary by Jesse, you know exactly what I mean. Or if you’ve purchased wholesale hash from Jesse, you know what I mean. Or if you’ve been lucky enough to read his weekly blogs, you know what I mean. He’s pretty damn awesome and that’s why Jesse is our (long overdue) Best Bud of the Month!

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Jesse. “April 27th, 2017.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Jesse. “I’m a huge fan of fruity flower like Strawberry Banana, and I’m old, so I smoke joints. But as a father who appreciates discretion, I also love the PAX Era vape system we just started selling, and edibles are always fun.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Jesse. “I try to keep up with my wife while she mountain bikes ahead of me, but I only pretend to like it, and if I’m being honest, I’d much rather be people-watching because this town is perfect for it.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Jesse. “We have a nine-weeks-old black Pug puppy named Yoda who spends his time looking ridiculously cute and pooping on things.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Jesse. “I always let other people pick the music while I work because I’m the type of person who listens to songs over and over again, and I got sick of my music years ago.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Jesse. “I love that I can be myself while working here because I had to be someone else in my past career. And I love traveling the state while I sell The Greenery Hash Factory’s hash on the wholesale market—I never thought a career like this could exist legally, and at least once a day, I say to myself, ‘take that, guidance counselor.’”

See, guidance counselor, Jesse turned out to be more than employed, he’s an asset that we are thankful for every day. He’s also a rad dad and husband (side note, his wife is also super cool), and I think our world could use a lot more Jesses.

Visit our Durango dispensary and ask Jesse to help you out. You will learn more than you could have imagined about cannabis and you will leave feeling a little better about the world. As Jesse says, ‘How could you not be happy? We are selling legal marijuana!’.

Solventless Saturday Deal

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I love Taco Tuesday. Actually, in the year 2020, Cinco De Mayo falls on a Taco Tuesday, and my calendar is already marked because that day is gunna be epic. But if I’m being honest, I think I like “Taco Tuesday” for the two “tee” sounds instead of the “taco” or the “Tuesday” part, because I’m not really a fan of either one when they’re apart.

But I digress…

My point here is that most day-specific deals are fun because the alliteration makes them sound so cool: we sell a half-priced gram on “Marvelous Monday” when you buy one at full price; “Waxy Wednesday” gets you fifteen percent off shatter and a few other products; “Thankful Thursday” lets you pick any one item to discount by fifteen percent. See what I mean? They’re catchy and fun and easy to remember, just like the rest of our daily deals that you can read about HERE.

However, the weekends have been neglected by The Greenery, and we apologize. Saturdays and Sundays have always been crazy enough given that our cannabis really is the best in town, so we’ve been afraid to add to the mayhem by throwing a discount into the mix. But you know what? Our Hash Factory makes solventless hashes, Saturday is a perfect day to smoke said hashes, and “Solventless Saturday” sounds super-cool thanks to all the susurrations. I might even like it better than taco Tuesday, but that kind of decision takes time to make.

Anyway, as of today (5/12/18), The Greenery will be selling our house-made solventless concentrates for fifteen percent off, and we’ll do so every Saturday because the weekends deserve discounts too, as does anyone who appreciates the purity of a traditional hash. And just in case you don’t know what qualifies as a true “solventless” hash, here’s the list:

  1. Lebanese Hash. This stuff is usually blonde, but that doesn’t matter because it’s the best. We squeeze freakishly-potent kief in a twelve-ton press until it starts to goo together, and then we cut it up and sell it by the gram. A Lebanese Hash high is my favorite because it feels like that first-time high from way-back-when, and it feels like it every time.
  2. Moroccan Hash. We bake our kief to make this one, but I’m not going to tell you how we do it because that’s super-secret stuff (read all about it HERE). The hand-rolled balls of Moroccan we sell at our Durango dispensary are dark and deep, just like a storied hash should be.
  3. Kief Brick. This is the simplest, unadulterated hash on the market, and the taste is like standing in a wind-swept field of cannabis (I might’ve been stretching a bit on that one, but I promise there’s no purer way to add flavor and potency to a bowl than with a dusting of Kief Brick).
  4. Rosin. We make ours with kief instead of flower, so it’s potent. Yes, the taste is robust and the high is insane, but you can handle it. This is the only dabbable concentrate that’s included in our Saturday special, but that’s because Rosin is the only true solventless hash you can dab.
  5. Bubble Hash. All it takes to make bubble hash correctly is a little ice-water, some of the best cannabis on earth, and a few months of trial and error, so don’t try this at home—our Bubble Hash is agitated and strained and cured, and that’s not the type of thing that should be left to amateurs.

I swear to you that the five hashes we’re discounting this Saturday and every Saturday are some of the best products available anywhere. In fact, the hashes we make are so good that they’re sold in about ten percent of all the dispensaries in Colorado, and it only took us a few months on the wholesale market to get there (seriously, look at our map HERE). Isn’t that awesome? Now you can buy some of the best hash in the world directly from the people who make it, and you can do so right here in this tiny mountain town for a price that’s better than you’ll find anywhere else.

So, come see Your Best Buds at our Durango dispensary on 208 Parker Avenue this Saturday for our solventless special. We’re open from ten to nine-thirty, and our hash will be discounted all day just for you, which is way better than tacos on Tuesday, now that I think about it.

Who smokes marijuana?

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The short answer: everybody. I’ve seen all types of people walk into our dispensary, and I’ve written about it before, but for some reason, the archetypical stoner stigma still exists. It’s frustrating. We’re not all lazy losers or burnt-out pot heads in much the same way that people who shop at the corner liquor store aren’t all comical drunks. But hey, marijuana has only been legal for a few years, so I get why the misconception lingers.

The last time I tried to make this point in writing, all I had to back me up was my opinion (which is far from gospel), but now, the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment released THIS study, and it proves my point. Basically, they polled over ten thousand Coloradan adults and found that 14.6% of them used cannabis currently, and then they asked follow-up questions to find out exactly who these “stoners” were.

But first, here’s the demographical breakdown of the 10,169 people who were interviewed:

Male: 5,138
Female: 5,031

Age 18-25: 625
Age 26-34: 1,251
Age 35+: 8,187

White: 7,823
Black: 259
Hispanic: 270
Multiracial: 1,416
Other: 194

Alright… now here’s the good part: the part proving that people who smoke pot didn’t list “sitting on the couch” as their profession. Here’s what we “stoners” do for a living:

Accommodation and Food Services: 30.1%

Administration, Support, Waste Management, and Remediation Services: 18.8%

Agriculture, Forestry, Fishing/Hunting: 14.4%

Arts, Entertainment, and Recreation: 28.3%

Construction: 19.7%

Education: 5.8%

Finance and Insurance: 13.5%

Health Care and Social Assistance: 7.4%

Information: 18.2%

Management of Companies and Enterprises: 13.1%

Manufacturing: 16.3%

Mining, Oil and Gas: 5.2%

Other: 20.9%

Professional, Scientific, Technical Services: 14%

Public Administration: 5.8%

Real Estate, Rent, Lease: 19.6%

Retail Trade: 18.9%

Transport and Warehousing: 10.2%

Utilities: 5.8%

Wholesale Trade: 11.4%

See?! We “stoners” are actually doctors and teachers, bosses and entrepreneurs, scientists and blue-collar workers, and we don’t deserve the stigma that we’ve earned thanks to close to a century of misinformation. And who knows what those “other” people from the list do for a living? They could be politicians or even closeted preachers who prefer natural drugs to the pharmaceutical kind, and it’s time that we forget the nonsense that pops into our heads when we hear the “stoner” label.

So, if you’ve been sheepish about trying cannabis, step out of the shadows and come see Your Best Buds at the finest Durango dispensary for dispelling stigmas: The Greenery at 208 Parker Avenue. We’ll help you find the best product for your needs, and together, we’ll help bring safe and legal cannabis into the mainstream where it belongs!

Colorado Dark Hash

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Why is it that only the Middle East is famous for hash? It’s not fair…

Yes, I know that “hashish” is an Arabic word, and I know they came up with it first, but I’m still a little jealous. And I don’t care if it sounds like I’m throwing a fit because I’m allowed to—I’m the Sales Manager for a bona fide Hash Factory right here in Durango, Colorado, and I spend my days selling “Moroccan” hash and “Lebanese” hash to dispensaries across the state (we’re in forty-three of them as of right now). Don’t get me wrong, exotic hashes are wonderful and time-tested, but they’re still foreign; they’re still modeled after the hashes that come from “over there.”

So, what about Colorado? Given that hash is legal here, while it’s still illegal in places like Lebanon and Morocco and Afghanistan, shouldn’t we have our very-own type of hash that’ll put us on the hashish map? Shouldn’t Colorado become famous for a hash that’s named after us? We think so, and guess what? Like I said, I work for a hash factory, a place where we get to make whatever the hell we want, and we decided to come up with something just for the home-team.

But it took us a while to figure it out. All the old-school stuff has been done before: kief has been aged and baked and pressed for thousands of years, and all those methods have been claimed by other cultures for generations. And all that new-school stuff like BHO comes from California, if we’re being honest, so we can’t claim it and call it “Colorado Hash” even though we’ve perfected it. So, we spent quite a bit of time in front of the proverbial blackboard, and we decided to meet in the middle of the two paradigms; we decided to make a mashup of old and new school hashes and call it out own: Colorado Dark Hash.

For the record, Joel Cameron, the man who owns The Greenery Hash Factory, came up with the idea, but I get to be the first to give him credit for it in writing (years from now, I like to imagine that some future stoner just like me will google “Colorado Dark Hash” and read what I’m writing now while he’s chasing down the origin story for the world’s best hashish, and the thought makes me smile). But it took Joel weeks of research and development to figure it out, not to mention a ludicrous amount of financial investment, so I’m not going to tell you exactly how it’s done because I know for a fact that people will try to replicate this concentrate once they figure out how freakishly awesome it is. But here’s the gist:

We bake old-school kief to decarboxylate it (I swear the process is more complex than it sounds), and then we mix it with pure CO2 oil to bump the potency up into the new-school range. See what I mean? It’s a marriage between the old and new, much like the historic state that gave birth to legalized cannabis. And when the first batch cooled into the midnight black hash that we created, it felt like we’d made something special, something novel, and lightning arched across the sky while Joel screamed, “it’s alive!” (that last part isn’t true, but a little poetic embellishment is expected when you’re writing an origin story).

Anyway, the concentrate that lay cooling in front of us was pungent and potent and just as black as the diamonds that mark dangerous ski-slopes. It was the first batch of real Colorado Hash, and it was born just a few days before 4/20, which has to count for something. But the best part is how it smoked. You can’t smoke CO2 oil in a pipe because it has to be dabbed, but you can put this oil-fueled Colorado Dark Hash right in your pipe and light it up to get the potency usually found only in dabs, and you don’t even need a blowtorch. And with this new-school potency comes the old-school flavor: musky earth-tones that come in concert with deep relaxation and a full-spectrum high.

It isn’t hyperbole: The Greenery Hash Factory has come up with a new hash that’s better than anything else out there because it takes the best of both worlds and melds them together into something unique, something truly Colorado. And our egos are stoked because we made it first, we smoked it first, and we’re going to sell it first. The first batch of Colorado Dark Hash is now on our Durango dispensary menu, and we’re selling it for $40 a gram before tax, which is well worth it, and I’m not just saying that because I work here. So, come see Your Best Buds at 208 Parker Avenue and ask to see some of Colorado’s hash, because this is something we’ve made just for you.

April’s Best Bud of the Month

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Chris Romero
Budtender Extraordinaire

About your Best Bud:

Chris Romero is a family man. His thoughts and conversations are always about his eighteen-months-old son, Julian, and his wife, Stephanie. And they’re both delightful—Stephanie and Julian came to our last company function and did their best to smile while everyone else took tequila shots, and they became part of our Greenery family as if it were meant to be. And frankly, we love that; it’s wonderful to see young professionals like Chris jump into this industry to support a family life.

But you might not know Chris because he’s one of the newer people tending bud behind our counter (he’s the tall guy with a quick laugh and an easy smile), so this week, we thought you should meet him:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Chris. “December thirteenth of last year.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Chris. “I like dabs because nothing else compares, and Live Resin is the best. It gives you a clean high with a wonderful flavor.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Chris. “Playing with my son.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Chris. “I have five dogs, two cats, and a kid… we decided to be those type of people.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Chris. “Typically, it’s Gorillaz, but sometimes, I go for the harder stuff.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Chris. “I love everything about working here. I love the weed, I love the people, and actually, I shopped here for three years before hiring on.”

See? If the Greenery has always been Chris’s choice for marijuana in Durango, he understands quality, so it was an obvious choice for him to apply, and an obvious choice for us to hire him. But just because he’s new to The Greenery doesn’t mean he’s new to this town—Chris owns the house he grew up in, and his native-born Durangoan status makes a lot of us look like newcomers, much like he might look to you if you’ve been in recently and met the “new guy.”

Either way, we’re lucky to have him. He stands behind the counter with the confidence of someone who understands cannabis, and with the purpose of someone who’s doing this all for a reason, and because of that, Chris Romero is your Best Bud of the Month for April; thank you Chris!

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Rick Simpson Oil in Durango

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Long story short, there isn’t any.

Not really, anyway, because for an oil to be a “Rick Simpson Oil,” it needs to me made by Rick Simpson. That’s just how it works. And honestly, I thought the guy was dead, but as it turns out, he’s living happily in Croatia because the Canadian Mounties raided his home, and he decided to leave Canada forever. But I should back up…

In the late nineties, Rick was standing on a ladder in a small room coating asbestos-insulated pipes with some sort of industrial adhesive, and he fell and hit his head (pretty much exactly like Doc did just before he dreamed up the Flux Capacitor). When Rick woke up, he was in a hospital, and when he left, the doctors gave him all sorts of pills that didn’t do much. So he asked for medicinal marijuana, and when they wouldn’t give him any, he went home and started messing around with cannabis extraction techniques in his backyard.

He mixed a bunch of marijuana with some alcohol in a bucket, stirred it with a stick, poured the alcohol onto a tray, let it evaporate, and then voila; he’d made his first batch of Rick Simpson Oil. But a few months down the road, he was diagnosed with terminal skin cancer. So he made some more oil, rubbed it on his skin (and took regular doses orally), and according to legend, the cannabis cured his cancer.

Of course, I don’t know that for a fact—there aren’t any peer-reviewed medical journals that I could find to espouse any sort of tangible evidence that Rick’s cancer was cured, nor could I find any proof that he had it in the first place, so please don’t think that the guy who writes the Greenery’s blog is telling you that all you need to cure cancer is weed, alcohol, a bucket, and a stick. If it really were that simple, cancer wouldn’t be as scary as it is.

Anyway, Rick began making tons of RSO and sending it to people who were looking for wholistic alternatives (that’s when he pissed off the Mounties). He started proselytizing like some sort of pot prophet, angered too many politicians, and then moved to Croatia where he makes a living selling his RSO cookbook online for $35.75 plus shipping and handling.

There. We’re all caught up, and now I can tell you about the oil itself: just about everything we make nowadays in Colorado is better. I know there’s something enticing about buying a book and cooking up the cure to cancer in your kitchen, and I don’t have any evidence proving it doesn’t work, so I support anyone’s right to try. But now we have scientists making our cannabis oil, real ones with doctorates who didn’t fall off a ladder and start their first batch in the backyard. We have consortiums of investors who pool their money and hire hordes of geniuses to work in world-class labs that look like they belong someplace only Marty McFly could go. And these products are spectacular.

In our Durango dispensary, we sell one gram of pure CO2-extracted cannabis oil in a glass syringe from Sweet for $50 before tax—it delivers a perfect balance between THC and CBD with lab-tested percentages that simply couldn’t be produced in Rick’s day because cannabis was illegal (you know, without scientists and whatnot like we have thirty years later here in legal Colorado). Our dispensary also carries edible full-spectrum cannabis oil capsules from Sweet for $24 including tax. Each capsule contains 10mg THC and 2.5mg CBD of unwinterized cannabis oil along with coconut oil. Many of our customers are battling cancer and they swear by this stuff. They’ll rub it on or eat it or smoke it and they tell me they love it. I don’t know if it cures anything yet—time will tell, and many are hopeful—but if you think about it, that doesn’t really matter because it makes suffering people feel better, and that’s important.

And we sell salves (Mary Jane’s Medicinals) that combine everything Rick Simpson was trying to get into a pleasant-smelling topical. Salves such as these are some of the bestsellers on the market, and we sell the one-ounce container for $15 before tax if you’d like to try it for yourself. This is the stuff the little old ladies come in for daily. They’re usually bright and happy to see me, and I’ll always run over to help them find their driver’s license, usually with a coy smile when I ask to see their I.D. And they keep coming back because the better-half of the Greatest Generation seems to love cannabis salve.

Frankly, the Sweet CO2 Oil and the Salves I just told you about are the closest things on the market to RSO (except for “Phoenix Tears,” which is just another form of oil), but some people would have you believe otherwise. There are plenty of companies out there selling “Rick Simpson Oil” and Rick Simpson himself spends a good deal of his time sending messages to these companies from Croatia telling them to stop using his name, but they never do because marijuana products are federally illegal, ergo copyright laws don’t yet extend to this industry of ours. So, manufacturers keep slapping Rick’s name on things because it helps them sell so well, and people keep falling for it thanks to the name recognition.

I spend most of my time sitting right here in front of this computer and it’s by one of our telephones, so I’m usually the one who answers when someone calls our dispensary, The Greenery, and at least one person calls in every week asking for Rick Simpson Oil. I’ll always give them an abridged version of the ten paragraphs you just read, and when they come in, I’ll show them the two products I just told you about and send them on their way with confidence. But if you still have questions about infused topicals that might actually be better than Rick Simpson Oil (but without the name everyone knows), just come see Your Best Buds at 208 Parker Avenue in Durango (or call us at 970-403-3710), and we’ll show you all the new stuff on the market so you don’t have to make it in your backyard with a bucket.

Lebanese Hash in Durango

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Some of the world’s best hashish comes from the Bekaa Valley in Lebanon, where cannabis farmers have been dry-aging and pressing kief into bricks since long before hashish made it to America.

However, there’s a problem: hash is illegal in Lebanon, and the Lebanese government routinely bulldozes entire fields that were once sown and harvested by hash-making tribes. And even if this didn’t happen, it’s illegal to import hash into this country from overseas, so authentic Lebanese Hash is one of the scarcest concentrates on the market, and the tradition is slowly fading.

But not in Durango.

At The Greenery Hash Factory, we’ve picked up what the Lebanese farmers are being forced to put down, and now we’re making the best Lebanese Hash this side of the Mediterranean. We start with high-quality, dry-sieved kief just like the source material that comes from the Lebanese marijuana plant, which is one of the rarest strains in the world. We age the kief in a humidity-controlled environment to mimic the aging process in the original version, wherein kief was set aside in cool cellars until the pressing season came along in the winter months. And then we press the kief into large bricks via a proprietary process that darkens the kief and seals in the flavor.

The result is wonderful: it’s a mellow smoke with a fresh and complex taste; this hash is made from all the potent trichomes that house marijuana’s flavor. And Lebanese hash is different from our other products because it isn’t cooked. The simple pressing process melts the trichomes to bind the brick together, but only a minimal amount of heat is generated, so our Lebanese isn’t completely decarboxylated like other hashes such as our Moroccan, and most of the THC remains dormant in its acid form (THCa), just waiting for a flame to release its potency.

But the best part is that you can actually enjoy this hash—you don’t need a passport and a ticket to Lebanon, nor do you need a time machine that’ll take you back to the years when Lebanese Hash was easy to find. You just need to go to the best Durango dispensary, The Greenery, and ask us about our Lebanese Hash. We’re at 208 Parker Avenue, which is a lot easier to find than the Bekaa Valley, and we can’t wait for you to experience the storied tradition that comes along with every gram of our Lebanese Hash, because We’re Your Best Buds!

April’s Durango Dispensary Sale Days

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Everybody thinks he or she knows the origin story of April Fools’ day. Sometimes, it’s about one group of people making fun of another group, like that story about the sixteenth-century Parisians (who celebrated New Year’s Day on January first) who made fun of the rural townsfolk because they’d always celebrated the New Year on April first. Or it has something to do with Chaucer and that ridiculous poem he wrote centuries ago. Or it comes from a religious text, or some obscure wartime victory in the Netherlands when one side or the other lost a battle on April first. It’s never the same.

Isn’t that strange? All the other holidays in this country come along with a dubious explanation we’ve all agreed upon since childhood, and yet everyone’s explanation for April Fools’ Day is different. But in a poetic little twist, even though all the origin stories seem contradictory, they’re all true. For some reason, people just like to play tricks on other people in the spring, and they do so in every country: all the different origin stories come from different places on the globe, because our species has always been wily in the spring.

Why? My theory is simple: we’re just animals. We’re instinctual. We perk up in the spring just like all the other mammals on this planet, and we do stuff that we couldn’t do thanks to winter. Some species migrate, some grow antlers, and some stretch saranwrap over toilets because messes are funny, I guess.

But April does feel different, when you think about it. It’s a heady month, with all that new heat in the air, and something atavistic wakes up inside each of us and wants to go for a walk, preferably with a joint. And April is going to be one hell of a month for us here at The Greenery, so if you get the urge to go on that walk (or if you don’t have a joint), you should definitely come see us on these dates:

March 31st: Durango is having its first Cannabis Crawl. For the record, I get that “cannabis” and “crawl” sound cool next to each other, but nobody crawls after getting high like those drunk fools who crawl from pub to pub, so maybe they should’ve gone with “weed walk” or “bud bounce” or “ganja gallop.” Oh well. But we’re a part of the Cannabis Crawl here at The Greenery, and we’ll be selling one gram of Greenery-grown bud for $10 before tax to all you crawlers, but we’re limiting it to one gram per customer, because after hitting so many dispensaries, we don’t want you to go over your legal carry and purchase limit of one ounce.

April 10th: It’s our Birthday! Seriously, three years ago, The Greenery opened its dispensary doors and started slanging legal weed, and since then, we’ve mastered the game. But if you come by and see us on our birthday, we’ll get you something: 20% off everything in the store, and $4.20 pre-rolled joints before tax (limited to two per customer).

April 20th: Yes, it’s 4/20 once again (click HERE to learn why that matters), and all day on April 20th, this Durango dispensary will be selling everything in the store for 20% off, and if you spend more than $50 before tax, we’ll throw in a $1 joint.

Nice, isn’t it? No gimmicky jokes, no April tricks, just a month of specials on the best marijuana in Colorado, because We’re Your Best Buds, and that’s an origin story all of Durango knows.

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March’s Best Bud of the Month

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Sloane Burdick
Manufacturing Lead (Supreme Commander of Hash)

About your Best Bud:

Sloane is the funny one. Or maybe Sloane is the artsy one, or the wild one, the fun one. Or maybe Sloane is the cool one, the one who’s real, albeit a little unfettered. Or maybe Sloane can’t really be classified as “this” or “that” one, like most people walking the streets. Know what I mean?

Picture all your friends standing in a field. Now pick out “the dumb one.” How long did that take you? A millisecond? It was easy for you because people like to pigeonhole other people. That’s what we do; we’re natural-born categorizers.

But Sloane doesn’t really fit into any of those pigeonholes. She takes up four or five of them with her complexity, with the depth of her personality, and to interview her was a delight:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Sloane. “November of 2015.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Sloane. “I love Strawberry Cough in the bong. I love the glass and the cold water, and the way it makes the smoke cleaner.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Sloane. “Taking pictures when I’m in my car or when I’m hiking. Or riding my cruiser ‘Pinkie Tuscadero.’ You know, like the character from Happy Days. It’s got hot-pink wheels and grips.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Sloane. “I have an evil kitty named Betty Beans, aka ‘B.B. McFuzz Pants,’ because who doesn’t give their animals multiple names?”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Sloane. “We use YouTube for music. And really, I should be honest: mostly, I listen to Sturgill Simpson. It’s a problem.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Sloane. “I love normalizing the world of cannabis. I’m a single mom in my forties, and I make hash for a living. I’m making this life normal, just as it should be.”

These interviews always get awkward right at the end. It’s important to include a story about the interviewee, something anecdotal that’ll help you get to know a team member here at The Greenery. But it’s a difficult question to answer when you’re on the spot:

Q. Would you share with us a story that’ll forever immortalize you on the internet? Something interesting that’ll pretty much define you as a human being? Something that’ll be read by all your coworkers and friends and the government, because you know they’re watching, right?
Sloane. “Um… there are lots of stories,” her laugh sounded like experience, “but one time, the school bus stopped to pick me up when I was almost forty. I told the guy I was on my way to work, but he thought I was a teen. He drove away, and I could see all the kids through their windows. They were laughing and watching me as their heads turned while the bus drove away.”

Most of us know for a fact that the school-bus story doesn’t define Sloane (there’re much better ones, like the one with the Scottish people or the one that ends with a lot of laughs, like most of them do), but the fact she chose this particular story says a lot. It’s a slice, a little snippet of Sloane’s hilarity that says something about her rather than about what happened to her, and that’s just cool.

***

To the people who don’t work in this Durango dispensary, Sloane is the woman who makes Moroccan Hash for The Greenery Hash Factory, along with a whole slue of other exotic concentrates. But to us, she’s part of this company, part of it’s soul, and even though Sloane doesn’t fit into a pigeonhole, she fits in here. And that’s why Sloane Burdick is your Durango dispensary Best Bud of the Month for March; congratulations Sloane!

Make sure to check out Sloane’s artwork HERE!

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The Closest Durango Dispensary to Farmington

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I lived in Farmington for seven years and I know about all the wonderful things you guys have hidden down there. I know about all the hole-in-the-wall meat markets that sell authentic Mexican ingredients. I know about all the spectacular trails that crisscross the desert like sandy latticework throughout Chokecherry Canyon. I know about your sweltering summer days and your mild winter nights and your hard-working blue-collar culture, but unfortunately, I also know that for you, recreational marijuana is illegal.

Here in Durango, Colorado, we can smoke pot all we want because we’re just a little bit closer to the freedom we sing about before football games. And someday, New Mexico will be there too. You’ll have dispensaries and sensible laws, and if we wanted to, Durango and Farmington could pass blunts back and forth across the border. But you’re not there yet, so for now, you need to visit Colorado to purchase marijuana legally.

The Durango Greenery is the closest dispensary to Farmington, or any of northwest New Mexico for that matter, and we appreciate our customers from the south. Your business matters. We’ll give you the same loyalty card we give locals and we’ll treat you as if you were our next-door neighbor, because if you think about it, the hour-long drive that separates us doesn’t mean much—we’re just human beings who share a river and a fondness for marijuana.

So, come see us. We’re located at 208 Parker Avenue in Durango, Colorado, just north of the border, and if you need directions, simply call us at (970) 403-3710. We’ll tell you to head north on Highway 550 and once you cross the Animas River, take a right onto E Turner Dr. passing by the movie theater, then take a right to wrap under 550 and onto the Frontage Rd.  Make a left on Turner at Morehart Murphy Chevrolet. Next, take a left on Parker Ave, and then drive to the cul-de-sac at the end. There’s no way you’ll be able to miss our signs and flagging, and we have plenty of discrete parking. We’re open nightly until nine-thirty (except on Sundays when we close at seven), and we’ll be waiting right here for our friends from the south, because We’re Your Best Buds too.

*Please remember that under current law, it is illegal to leave Colorado with any marijuana products.* So stay awhile!

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