Greenery Life Archives | Page 3 of 9 | The Grand Junction Greenery

Posted on September 8, 2018 - 8:06 pm

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I’m so, so sorry for throwing two blogs like this one at you back-to-back. Last week’s post was a little dry because we talked about the history of cannabis prohibition, and I’m afraid this week’s post about the ECS isn’t going to be much better. I promise that next week, we’ll go back to talking about getting baked, or maybe I’ll do something else fun like a new product review, but this week, I’d like to try to teach you something; it’s fitting given that it’s back-to-school time.

However, maybe you’re the type of person who enjoys this sort of post, because I know I am. I love learning how things work because knowledge demystifies the weirdness associated with something like getting high. And it’s pretty complex, too. Alcohol is a simple thing: you drink it, it gets into your blood stream, and then it pickles your brain and makes you do stupid things. But a cannabis high is on an entirely different echelon because the cannabinoids found in marijuana mimic similar compounds that occur naturally in the human body. That’s why it feels so good. Let me explain…

Allyn Howlett was a super-smart woman, and she’s a stoner’s hero because in 1988, she discovered the receptors in the brain to which THC binds to get you high; this was the first discovery of the endocannabinoid system (in my humble opinion, Howlett should’ve been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize). And a little while later, Howlett’s team discovered that these receptors aren’t limited only to the brain: they’re everywhere in the human body, which is why edibles can give you such an intense “body high.” See? We’re learning things. By the way, this is a blog for a pot shop, so I’m totally allowed to cite Wikipedia as a source; you can read a much more in-depth explanation about the ECS HERE. Anyway, moving on…

Raphael Mechoulam was the first to discover and isolate THC and CBD a few years earlier in 1964 (he’s still alive and well in Jerusalem), and not to be outdone Howlett, Mechoulam was the first to discover “endogenous cannabinoids” back in 1992. Endogenous cannabinoids are naturally-occurring, THC-like molecules produced in the body—we’ve always had them, which is why they’re “endogenous,” and if you combine the words “endogenous” and “cannabinoid,” you get the “endocannabinoid” in “endocannabinoid system.” Boom! Super educational.

However, the Endocannabinoid System isn’t just for getting high—the ECS is responsible for maintaining homeostasis in the body. It’s this system that helps keep us steady (regardless of what the world might be doing around us) regarding body temperature, metabolism, and mood. Granted, there are all sorts of other internal systems like the thyroid and hypothalamus that regulate changes as well, but the ECS helps out synergistically.

Let’s go deeper: there are three components to the ECS: the receptors themselves, the naturally-occurring endocannabinoids in our systems, and the metabolic enzymes that break down the cannabinoids after they’re used by the body.

Are you still awake? Please hang in there because this is cool stuff…

There are two main types of receptors in the ECS: CB1 and CB2 receptors. We’re not gunna get too deep into the differences because I’m probably pushing the bounds of your interest, but the CB1 type soaks up the stuff that gets you high (these receptors are in the nervous system), and the CB2 type soaks up the medicinal stuff (these receptors are in the immune system).

We’re not going to get into the endocannabinoids themselves either because that’s some uber-boring stuff (the two main ones are AEA and 2-AG), but the enzymes are pretty cool. The enzymes break down the naturally occurring endocannabinoids in our systems almost immediately after they’re absorbed via the receptors. This is a good thing, because without those enzymes, we’d walk around high all the time thanks to the cannabinoids that our bodies are constantly making. Actually, if you’re the type of person who likes to be high all the time, maybe you’d argue that these enzymes are bad things because if they didn’t exist, you’d never have to pay for pot. But whatever; it is what it is.

Do you get how it works now? When you smoke pot, the cannabinoids in it are absorbed into your system via the receptors in your ECS, but there aren’t enough extra enzymes to break down the THC, so it becomes psychoactive and gets you high. See? Weirdness demystified! And that’s what we do here at The Greenery: we answer questions and do our best to provide an education with each transaction, because We’re Your best Buds, and that’s how we work!

Dealing with your Friendly Neighborhood Dispensary Budtender

Posted on August 25, 2018 - 9:00 am

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I have strict rules for tipping: at the bar, it’s a dollar per drink, at the restaurant, it’s twenty-percent for awesome service, and a passive-aggressive fifteen-percent for anything less. But the first time I purchased legal weed, I had no idea what to do—there was a tip jar by the register, so when I bought my first joint, I stuffed two dollars in that jar for the budtender and then looked at her to see if she thought it was acceptable. She didn’t notice, so I went on my way hoping it was okay.

Now that I stand on the other side of the counter, I know that a two-buck tip for a joint is perfectly acceptable, if not overkill. You see, dispensary budtenders are nothing like bartenders or servers even though the jobs are similar: we receive a regular wage, so tips are an added bonus, not the cornerstone to our living like they are for a waitress. Throwing a buck or two into our jar is simply a way to say “thank you” if we’ve answered all your questions and provided the type of customer service you expect, but it isn’t necessary; we’ll never judge you behind your back if you go on your way without leaving a tip.

But if you really loved your experience in our Durango dispensary, there’s an even better way to show us: leave us a Google review. After all, this is the modern age, and Google makes the world go ‘round (and it’s probably how you found this blog). If you leave us a review, it lets us know how we’re doing and how we can improve; we need your input because we want to be the best.

For example, if you Google “The Greenery,” click “rate and review” over to the right, select the number of stars, type something like, “Jesse writes the best pot blogs on earth,” and then click “publish,” I get all sorts of kudus. Fun, right? But if there’s something we need to do better (like if you found a typo in this blog), please tell us that too; we want to hear it.

We also need to talk about your I.D. I’ve told you this before and I’m sure you already know it, but you must have a valid government-issued form of identification proving that you’re twenty-one or older to purchase anything in our dispensary. That being said, I know how annoying it can be to take out your driver’s license and show it to a budtender, but we don’t have a choice—if my grandmother were still alive (and if she got over that whole “devil’s lettuce” thing when it comes to pot), I’d have to card her if she came in here just to make sure her I.D. wasn’t expired. It’s either that, or a hefty fine and the loss of my ridiculously fun job.

And what makes this rule especially irksome is that if you show your I.D. to a budtender when you come in, but someone different rings you up, you’ll have to show your I.D. again even though you’re still the same person. We don’t have a choice. So please, even though it’s annoying to pull that I.D. out of your wallet or purse, bear with us. Budtenders don’t make the rules, but we have to follow them.

Other than that, the only thing you need to know is that we’re here for you; it’s our job to provide you with an educational experience when you come in to The Greenery. It’s what we do. I don’t care if there’s a line out the door: if I’m helping you at the counter, I’ll take my time to answer every question you have each and every time, so don’t be afraid to ask. That’s what makes The Greenery different than all the other dispensaries in town, so please don’t feel as if you’re in a rush while you’re here, because to us, your experience is more important than anything else. And that’s how it’ll always be when you’re dealing with our budtenders, because We’re Your Best Buds!

August’s Best Bud of the Month

Posted on August 21, 2018 - 2:56 pm

Kevin Grady
Budtender, Product Research Team Member

About your Best Bud:

Kevin is everybody’s friend. Seriously. Everyone who comes in here gives him a warm hello or a wave as if he’s Norm from Cheers; Kevin is the only budtender I know who has groupies. And that makes sense because he’s the salty bartender type who’s quick with a joke or an anecdote to turn frowns upside-down. But he has a serious, knowledgeable side as well, and he knows his stuff when it comes to cannabis, which is why he earned a spot on our Product Research Team. When Kevin isn’t selling cannabis, he’s researching it, spending his time reading about every product on the market to make sure The Greenery sells the best of the best. That’s why this week, you get to meet him (unless, of course, you’re like everyone else who already knows Kevin):

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Kevin. “March 27^th of this year, I believe.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Kevin. “A bubbler or a bong; a little water action. I like Green Crack and Golden Goat, or any sativa from The Greenery Grow, and I like very strong indica dabs.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Kevin. “Outdoor? Hiking and biking, but mostly because I haven’t owned a car for five years. In the wintertime, I like hockey and snowboarding.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Kevin. “I’m the only person in Durango without a pet.”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Kevin. “My favorite is Gogol Bordello, but I’m always into Ska and Punk depending on the time of day and customers.”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Kevin. “I like helping customers because I truly believe in cannabis.”

Due to this dedication to research and customer care (and thanks to his groupies), Kevin Grady is your Best Bud of the Month for August. Thank you so much, and congratulations, Kevin!

#Dispolife Part 3

Posted on August 4, 2018 - 9:00 am

I do my best to keep you apprised of all the mercurial changes that we go through as a company, but it’s difficult because it seems like we’re always doing something new. Our menu keeps expanding with new products, our staff is a fluid thing because people keep moving up or moving out, and this industry itself is ever-evolving. It’s exciting, but it’s hectic.

The last time I gave you an insider’s look behind the scenes here at our Durango dispensary (take a peek HERE), our Hash Factory was a fledgling business, but now, we’re supplying over ten percent of the dispensaries in the state with old-school hash, and we’re getting calls from around the world from people asking about our products. Seriously, a man from Egypt called me a few weeks ago and asked where he could buy our Lebanese Hash while he was “in the States” because he wanted to compare it to the stuff that actually comes from Lebanon (and he called back more recently to tell me that The Greenery wins).

And if you’ve been in lately, I don’t have to tell you that we have a few new faces behind the counter. Porter is the newest guy: he’s young and tall and full of excitement to be in his first cannabis-based position, and he replaced Jonathan who’s knee-deep in flower over at our grow. We have Cameron on our team now too, straight out of the armed services; he’s the enthusiastic one with a touch of swagger. And by the next time you read one of these culture pieces, we’ll have another new face because we’re a growing business, pun intended.

But at the end of the day, it’s the cannabis we’re providing for locals and tourists alike that matters, so our new menu deserves discussion; we have all sorts of new stuff and it’s all awesome. Let’s go through some of it:

1.) Stroopwafels! For the record, there’s no exclamation point in “stroopwafels,” but there should be because these things are insanely good. Each pack contains 100mg THC, and each serving (a little waffle cookie sandwiching a layer of caramel) contains 10mg THC. Come in and get some, or I’ll be forced to eat them all.

2.) Hash Joints. There aren’t a lot of truly solventless concentrated joints on the market, so we made one because that’s how we roll (again, pun intended). Each one of these full-gram pre-rolls is filled with a 50/50 blend of old-school hash and flower from our boutique grow, and we’re selling them for $18 each after tax. If you want an affordable way to get obliterated, there’s nothing better than a hash joint.

3.) PAX Pods. Yes, we’ve had pods for a while, but now we have exotic ones like “budder” and live resin pods, and we even have distillate pods that are enhanced with a natural blueberry terpene so it tastes like you’re smoking candy. Quite a few of you have been asking for flavored pods, so we came through just for you!

So yeah… if you’re over twenty-one with a valid I.D. proving as much, you should come see Your Best Buds at our Durango dispensary on 208 Parker Avenue so we can tell you all the new and exciting stuff in person (it beats reading any day).

July’s Best Bud of the Month

Posted on July 14, 2018 - 3:48 pm

Faith Frazier

About your Best Bud:

Everyone at The Greenery is a budtender—from the owners all the way down to the lowly guy who writes our blogs, everyone who works here will gladly come up to the front and sell you cannabis with a smile. But until now, every Best Bud you’ve met has been a budtender first and foremost, and today, you get to meet Faith Frazier, our CMO.

Faith is an anomaly. She’s one of those people you stare at trying to find a flaw because it doesn’t feel fair to meet someone who’s so damn good at everything. She’s a happily-married mother of two absurdly cute daughters; she’s brilliant and educated; she’s kind and compassionate, and she’s a valued friend. But professionally speaking, Faith is the reason our Durango dispensary is so popular. She runs our website, she handles all the public outreach, and she forged our brand into something that’s trusted by locals and tourists alike. Honestly, it’s past time that you met Faith:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?
Faith. “December of 2016.”

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?
Faith. “Outdoors. And I prefer a good Sativa.”

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?
Faith. “I love skiing, trail running, and floating the river. I really love it all, essentially, but skiing is the best.”

Q. Tell us about your pet.
Faith. “We have a cat named Fisher who mainly annoys everyone, but he’s a good mouser. We’re also getting a family Lab, and we have the names narrowed down to Lemon, Maisie, Pearl, or Willa. We’re open to suggestions!”

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?
Faith. “Lately, it’s been Leon Bridges, Alabama Shakes, and Tom Petty. But the first concert I went to was New Kids on the Block!”

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?
Faith. “The people; I love getting to interact with people every day by seeing locals and meeting tourists!”

And you know what? People love meeting Faith more than Faith loves meeting people. Her smile will dilute the worst of days, and customers always seem to linger at the counter when Faith is up front. Actually, from the stories we hear, that’s just the way it’s always been. She spent a few months as an exchange student in Mongolia (which just adds to the whole “anomaly” thing), and the entire country loved her. They gave her a tattoo—the back-alley type, complete with a shot-glass full of booze to kill the germs on the needle—of the Mongolian word for “rainbow” because Faith brings color with her wherever she goes.

It’s true. The Greenery is a more colorful, wonderful place because Faith works here, and even though we aren’t gunna give her a tattoo, Faith deserves all the thanks we can throw her way. So, thank you, madame, you’re July’s Best Bud of the Month!

710 in Durango

Posted on July 7, 2018 - 9:00 am

7/10 is a lesser-known stoner’s holiday than 4/20, much in the same way St. Patrick’s Day takes a backseat to Octoberfest for people who prefer to celebrate beer. Hell, I won’t name names, but there were at least two budtenders with whom I spoke before writing this who had no idea that 7/10 was a holiday at all. However, you can’t really blame them:

The origin story behind April twentieth’s inauguration as a marijuana holiday is well-known (read about it HERE), but thus far, nobody is taking credit for 7/10 even though everyone agrees on why it’s a holiday (7/10 upside-down spells “OIL,” and hash oil is awesome). But maybe nobody came up with it first. I remember my father-in-law telling a joke thirty years ago about a blonde going into a gas station and asking for a “710 cap” because she was reading it upside-down, and that dumb-ass joke is older than the BHO that gave birth to the stoner version of 7/10.

But when you think about it, none of that really matters. The first documented use of the term “710” as it applies to cannabis oil was back in 2010 (and yes, it was in the Urban Dictionary), the term has been used ever since to talk about hash oil discreetly, and now, many oil smokers light up at 7:10 (hopefully PM) and on 7/10. Boom. Origin story covered.

So, this year, we tossed around the idea of doing a campy 7/10 promotion here at The Greenery, but we decided against it because we could do better (of course, if you come in on 7/10, you’ll receive 15% off edibles, but only because 7/10 is on a Tuesday, and all Tuesdays are like that). This year, we wanted to do something permanent, so we decided to celebrate 7/10 by adding a new oil cartridge to our shelves for all you oil lovers: the 500mg V3 CO2 Oil Cartridge.

And these things are awesome.

The hardware is glass and metal and ceramic, the CO2 oil is pure and potent, and the price is ridiculous. We’re selling these carts for half of what a few other versions cost, because that’s how you do 7/10.

Right?

And we’ve gone further. Most of us here at The Greenery are fans of flower because our grow is one of the best in the state, and we celebrate 4/20 the way Prince recommended back in 1999. But that doesn’t mean we haven’t been listening to the oil-smoking half of the community, and your requests for a deeper lineup of well-priced dabs have been heard.

We’ve lowered the price of our Shatter, Wax, Live Resin, Rosin, and HCFSE by 20% (seriously, you’re welcome), we’ve added multiple Evo Labs products to our shelves right alongside the V3 cart, and this 7/10, we’ll be selling Pax Pods filled with budder, live resin, and distillate that you probably won’t find elsewhere.

You see, The Greenery is an anomaly.

We’re this cozy, locally-owned Durango dispensary nestled deep within Bodo Park, but we have a big-city 7/10 selection (I shit you not, a man drove here from Denver just to buy his limit of HCFSE from Madrone because we were the only ones with shelves deep enough to have what he needed). So, if you’re in the camp that celebrates 7/10 and you’re twenty-one or older with a valid I.D., come see Your Best Buds at 208 Parker Ave, and we’ll get you set for this Tuesday. Happy 7/10, Durango!

Photos courtesy of our friends at Madrone & V3 Oil!

New Pricing at our Durango Dispensary

Posted on June 16, 2018 - 9:00 am

In the beginning, we had no idea what they were going to throw at us when it came to taxes. Frankly, back in ’14, businesses such as ours were willing to accept even the most astronomical rates simply so we could get away with selling legal marijuana; it was a means to an end. And “they” knew we’d put up with anything, so the rates kept climbing and climbing, and our out-the-door prices jumped all over the place like a kangaroo on crack. Because of this, we made the decision early on to not include taxes in our advertised prices because we never knew what was going to happen from month to month.

But a few months ago, when they tried to raise taxes even higher, we threw a fit. Our house counsel lobbied lawmakers and we started a petition and we got together as an industry and marched on city hall with torches and pitchforks. They gave in and agreed to keep our combined tax rate at 20%, which is insane enough as it is.

Think about it: if a customer comes in and spends $500, which happens all the time, they end up paying an additional $100 in tax—when this happens, I like to tell the customer that they single-handedly paid to fix a pothole with the tax that came from their purchase. But that’s just the way it is, and at least things have leveled off. And the good news is that since marijuana sales tax has become static (albeit extortionate), we’ve decided to include tax in our advertised prices, and since we had to change things anyway, we decided to make a few other adjustments, and I wanted to use this week’s blog to tell you about them. So, from now on, we’re going to have four tiers of flower pricing that represent your ‘out the door’ cost:

Craft: This is the crazy-good stuff, the flower you’d think of as true top-shelf marijuana. There will be times when our Craft flower comes from other small-batch growers, but for the most part, we grow all our Craft cannabis. We baby these plants; we play music for them and water them by hand and give them the love and time they need to grow the best buds on earth. From now on, with tax included, our Craft strains will sell for $24 a gram (of course, there are always price breaks for quantity).

Premium: These strains will usually come from featured growers around the state who are renowned for cultivating the most terpene-rich, potent strains in Colorado. You’ll need to check our marijuana menu from time to time to see what’s available, but these strains will sell for $18 per gram.

Choice: I’d hate to call our Choice strains “mid-range” because they’re still better than most of the other stuff in town, and you shouldn’t feel as if any quality is sacrificed per our Choice strains. These buds are still grown by some of the best cultivators in the state, and the potency is still in that Colorado range that put us on the map. Our Choice flower will cost you $12 per gram.

Select: This flower is still quality, but it might come in popcorn form (little buds) or have a lower THC percentage. This is the stuff you’ll want to buy if you decide to roll a comically-large joint or if your house is full of guests with vacuum lungs (you know who I’m talking about). And our decision to offer Durango a Select strain is something new for us, because now, you’ll be able to walk out the door with a $9 gram, which is awesome.

And we didn’t stop there. When we decided to restructure, we went all the way and adjusted our concentrate pricing for all you dabbers out there. From now on, you’ll be able to leave The Greenery with grams of concentrate for these tax-included prices (but of course, all the prices in this blog are subject to change because city hall might forget about the pitchforks):

Select Wax: $30 per gram

Premium Wax: $45 per gram

Shatter: $50 per gram

Live Resin: $60 per gram

Rosin: $60 per gram

HCFSE (Crystalline): $84 per gram

Isn’t that awesome?! All the premium concentrates we sell come from Madrone, which is the best producer of new-school hashes in the state. I’ll write more about them in a separate blog because they deserve it, but for now, please trust me when I say that there simply isn’t a better dab in Durango, and these prices are definitely worth it (if you’ve dabbed Madrone before, this isn’t something I need to tell you).

And that’s that! It’ll take us a week or so to bring in the Select Wax, but all these other changes will go into effect on Tuesday, June 19^th. Our menus will be simpler, our prices will be easier to understand since tax will be included in everything (even for our edibles), but most importantly, you’ll save some money. So, if you’re over twenty-one and you have a valid I.D., come see Your Best Buds at 208 Parker Avenue for the best-priced, highest quality cannabis products in Durango!

How to Identify Quality Marijuana

Posted on June 9, 2018 - 9:00 am

Part of me wants to say, “go to The Greenery and look at our marijuana because that’s what quality looks like,” but I’m not going to do that to you. I’ve been writing these blogs long enough to assume that I’ve built up a bit of ethos with at least one of you, and I don’t want to lose your trust. So, this week, I’m going to teach you how to tell the good from the bad when it comes to all the green stuff that’s on the market.

I see it every day: someone new will walk into our shop and look down at the twelve strains we have on display, and they’ll have no clue where to start. But can you blame them? Some of our strains are purple, some have white crystals and orange hairs. Some strains are neon green and some are dark as moss. How’s a newbie supposed to figure out what’s what? There are well over four-thousand named strains of marijuana and they all look different—if I didn’t work with weed all day every day, I probably wouldn’t know where to start either. So, when a new customer looks up from our display and asks, “um, how do I tell which one is good?”, I tell them these things:

1.) Look at the pot.

I know that sounds stupid, but it isn’t as easy as you’d think to tell whether flower is “quality” just by looking at it. We all know what good food looks like because food has been legal forever, but pot hasn’t, so for that first-time shopper, all the visual differences can be difficult to judge. So, one of the first things to look for is density, and that’s what I tell our customers. Pick up one of our display jars and shake it a bit. If the pot rattles around like a little rock, it’s dense, which is good because it means the flower is highly resinous, and that it was grown and cured properly. If the pot feels light like a ball of grass, it’s “larfy.”

For the record, I’ll admit freely that most of the words we use to describe cannabis are ridiculous, and they’re usually lazy versions of real words. For example, the word “larfy” means “leafy,” and it’s the term used in the marijuana industry use to describe fluffy pot, which usually isn’t as good as the dense stuff. And the “usually” matters, because sometimes, a fluffy strain (like the 30% THC King Kong we’re selling right now) will come along that’s better than a lot of the dense stuff.

Secondly, look for crystals. Technically, the crystals are dehydrated trichomes (the resinous glands that grow out of a plant’s epidermis), but all you really need to know is that crystal-covered flower is usually awesome because plants that produce a ton of crystals are usually potent and flavorful, and that’s always a good thing.

Third, check the bud structure. Round or conical buds are usually the best because the shape suggests the plants were grown properly. For instance, if you see long spindles of bud shooting off here and there (these are called “foxtails”), it could mean that the plant was grown with too much heat, which will affect the taste and cannabinoid content. But again, the “usually” matters, because there are a few awesome strains out there (like Casey Jones) that grow foxtails no matter how they’re cultivated.

2.) Smell the pot.

Again, it’s not nearly as easy as it sounds. Just like a fine wine, good pot will have a distinct “nose,” and even though it sounds snobby, we use that word in our industry too. But it’s tricky to pick out pot by its smell. You wouldn’t think it, but some of the best strains smell bad. The UK Cheese we sell in our shop from time to time smells like a mild cheddar, but the taste is creamy and the high is spectacular. We sell a Sour Diesel strain that smells like a gas station, but the high is energetic and blissful. And we sell a Chem Dog strain that smells like bleached linoleum, but again, the high is perfect.

My point here is that you need to reevaluate what you consider to be a “good” smell and start sniffing for specifics. After all, a flower’s smell is determined by its terpene content, and different terpenes do different things. For example, if you come into our shop, smell one of our display jars, and encounter a musky, skunk-like smell, the strain you’re sniffing most likely contains a high concentration of B-Myrcene, which is a terpene that’s thought to provide relaxation and pain-management possibilities.

And you can do this proactively: if you’re looking for an uplifting strain, avoid the skunk smells and sniff around for something that smells like pine or lemons—these smells come from the terpenes Pinene and d-Limonene respectively, and they’re famous for day-crushing energy and creativity.

3.) Lastly, ask questions.

There are a few other visual cues and at least ten more terpenes that really matter, so come in and ask one of our budtenders to explain what you’re looking at and smelling. Tell them the type of high you’re looking for and your quality/price range, and our budtenders will point you in the right direction, because I promise they’ve looked at and sniffed more pot than most of us could ever hope to. And the iPads we use to ring you up when you shop at The Greenery double as computers; we’ll always take the time to look up answers to your questions if we don’t know them readily.

So, if you’re over twenty-one with a valid I.D., come to The Greenery at 208 Parker Avenue. We’ll show you our quality marijuana, and we’ll take the time to explain the differences, because We’re Your Best Buds!

Things to do in Durango

Posted on June 2, 2018 - 9:00 am

Did you know there’s more to do in Durango than buy marijuana from The Greenery? I know… it’s crazy.

In a way, I’ve been doing you a disservice by only talking about cannabis and not telling you about all the other things this town has to offer. And I know it for a fact because lately, the tourists who find us on Google mention these blogs, but then turn around and ask, “so, what should we do while we’re in town?” Well, I apologize, and for this post, I’m going to talk about Durango instead of the best dispensary in it. Here we go:

***

I’m never moving.

This town has all the best parts of home without Alaska’s winter darkness, and it has all the best parts of Colorado without Denver’s crowd. The only way this town could be better is if it had a saltwater beach and palm trees hidden somewhere in the south, because Durango has everything else. We have rivers and mountains and culture and history and a ton of love, and this place has become my home, which is a rare thing for an Alaskan because most of us are clingy when it comes to what we call “home.”

But Durango is also The Greenery’s home more so than it is mine. The Greenery was born here, and our business model was breed by locals. We’re staffed with locals, we’re the local’s spot, and even if you’re not a local, we’ll treat you like one while you’re here. If you walked in and asked us what you should do after stopping at The Greenery (quite a few people really do come straight from the airport), we’d tell you to go see these places:

The Durango and Silverton Narrow Gauge Railroad

Did you know that our hometown train was the one in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, and that Robert Redford and Paul Newman rode that train? It blew my mind when I figured that out, even though to my daughter, Paul Newman is “that guy who makes salad dressing and lemonade.”

And even though our train creeps through our town seventeen-hundred times a day blowing that dissonant whistle and belching plumes of smoke, I love that thing. I love that there’s still a real-life steam engine that’s fed with coal, and I love that you can ride it along the cliffs or walk along the tracks and pick up heavy chunks of its black food. If you’re visiting Durango, you need to click on the link at the top of this paragraph and see our train.

The Animas River

This river got its name thanks to all the souls it took when this town was being founded back in the late eighteen-hundreds, so if you’re visiting and you want to raft the Animas, I’d suggest taking a guide like 4 Corners Whitewater. Those people know what they’re doing.

But if you just want to sit by our river and smell what Colorado is about, we have miles of the Animas running through town, and it’s crossed by bridges and bordered by trails. Just go find the river and then spend a day enjoying it. That’s all it takes.

Purgatory Ski Resort

It doesn’t matter if you like skiing when it snows or doing backflips on a mountain bike during the summer months: Purgatory has it all. They have trampolines and ziplines and big-ass slides and a lake for paddle boarding. If you like outside, Purgatory is the place for you while you’re in Durango.

Powerhouse Science Center

If you have kids, take them here. Or if you’re an adult who acts like a kid when you get stoned, go here. This huge, brick-built building once powered all of Durango, but now it sits restored along the banks of our river, and it’s packed with science and educational fun (which I swear to you is a real thing). The Powerhouse is close to downtown, so you can learn things and then take a short walk to buy and eat things.

Ska Brewing

This place is to beer as The Greenery is to bud. That’s all I’ll say.

***

But even after reading all of that, it’s not like you can’t walk into The Greenery and ask, “so, what should we do while we’re in town?” because most of our budtenders know more about Durango than I do. Everyone has his or her favorite spot or attraction, and it never hurts to ask. So, come see Your Best Buds at 208 Parker Avenue if you’re over twenty-one with a valid I.D., and we’ll share our home with you, right along with the best marijuana in Durango.

Top Shelf Marijuana in Durango

Posted on May 26, 2018 - 9:00 am

Word abuse should be illegal. That way, if someone said “irregardless” or something else nonsensical, real-life grammar police could come along and issue a citation while the rest of us watched and shook our heads slowly. But grammar police aren’t real, and believe it or not, the word “irregardless” has been added to most unabridged dictionaries simply because it’s been said enough times to become a real word; the definition in Webster’s is “regardless.”

And the idiocy doesn’t stop there: if you look closely enough, you can find “gourmet” foods in the gas station, or “artisanal” meals in the frozen foods aisle. I mean seriously, is a TV dinner actually “artisanal” if you have to microwave it? Does the raw cardboard packaging really mean that what’s inside is somehow better than anything else you find next to the frozen waffles? No. It’s just advertising, word-doctoring, and it’s insidious, when you think about it.

True, I work in sales and advertising, so it’s possible that I’ve gerrymandered semantics a time or two, but in the end, I’ve found that honesty really is the best policy—gas station “gourmet” food will get you sick, and then just a little bit, the word “gourmet” loses some of its meaning, which is the reason word abuse should be illegal in the first place.

It’s no better in the marijuana industry. There are plenty of dispensaries that throw around the word “organic” even though their products are anything but (since marijuana is federally illegal, it isn’t regulated by the FDA, so people use the word “organic” without oversight). But the worst case of word abuse in this industry is the misuse of the term “top shelf marijuana.” It’s frustrating, so please pay attention to this: marijuana cannot be “top-shelf marijuana” just because someone put it on the top shelf. It irks me to no end because at least once a day, someone will come in and ask why our top-shelf strains are costlier than the ones downtown.

I’m always kind to these customers, because after I thought about it for a while, I realized it wasn’t their fault—they’d been lied to thanks to all the false advertising in other Durango dispensaries, and if anything, they deserve the truth (literally, I have a T shirt that says “grammar police” on the front). So, I take my time with these misguided customers, and I tell them this:

At The Greenery, our top-shelf marijuana is on the top shelf because it’s the best cannabis on earth.

My boss would get uber pissed at me if I told you exactly how we operate our grow because that’s the kind of knowledge people pay us to learn, but I can tell you that we’re straight-up scientists: our growers run around and shoot lasers at our plants to make sure the canopy temperature is perfect; we drop particulate gasses on the fanleaves of our plants to help them breathe; we use light-emitting ceramic bulbs and engineered growing mediums and all sorts of super-secret stuff, but I’ve already said too much. My point here is that our buds really are Your Best Buds because there’s no shelf in Durango that’s higher than our top shelf.

Why? The other guys use hydroponics and nasty-ass greenhouse grows just so they can pump out as much mid-range pot as they can. The other guys don’t take their time when they’re trimming or curing. The other guys take subpar pot, slap a “top shelf” label on it, and then piss me off because like I said, word abuse should be illegal. Yes, you’ll pay more for true top-shelf cannabis, but that’s how life works. Good beer costs more than the stuff with a blue ribbon on the front, good food costs more than the frozen stuff, and good marijuana costs more than the pesticide-sprayed stuff that’s sold elsewhere in this town. I’m sure that sounds harsh, but it’s true.

So come see us at our Durango dispensary on 208 Parker Avenue and talk to one of our budtenders. We’ll take our time and show you the difference between our “top shelf” and all the others. We’ll let you smell the difference between ours and theirs, and once you smoke it and taste the terpene-rich awesomeness, the term “top shelf marijuana” will start to mean something again.