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Best Bud of the Month: Ryley – Budtender

Ryley is the goofy one; the one always laughing and enjoying her time here at The Greenery. And really, we love her for it. Meetings are more fun with Ryley in them; the retail floor is livelier when Ryley is there; our company as a whole is a happier place now that Ryley is on the team. She’s quick with a smile and a joke, and the organic excitement she feels while working in Durango’s best dispensary is palpable. Just like the rest of us, she LOVES marijuana, so if you’re looking for an enthusiastic budtender who knows her stuff, just ask for her when you come in; you won’t be disappointed.

But Ryley is one of our newest staff members, so you might not have had the chance to meet her. Well, here it is:

About your Best Bud:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?

Ryley. September 9th, 2020!

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?

Ryley. My favorite way to consume Marijuana would definitely be smoking it, out of a bong preferably! Although I do use edibles every now and then.

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?

Ryley. Long boarding, snowboarding, and anything to do with my dogs.

Q. Tell us about your pet.

Ryley. I have three pets. Two dogs and one cat! Bean is my Border Collie and Mia is my pit bull, and Berlioz is my blue Russian kitty. My dogs love being outdoors, and messing with my cat, they like snuggling, and just being a part of anything they can be.

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?

Ryley. Rock, underground rap, old school hip hop, indie. Just depends on whatever I’m feeling that day!

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?

Ryley. I like my co-workers and the environment we’ve created here with one another. I like that we can all be ourselves!

And we love that Ryley feels comfortable enough here at The Greenery to be herself, because it brightens everyone’s day. Honestly, did you notice that Ryley used four exclamation points to answer five questions? That level of excitement is why Ryley has done so well here. Outside of work, Ryley is a new mom, a young wife, and an animal lover. Here at work, she’s a lovely team member, a fan favorite to our customers, and she’s Your Best Bud for March. Thank you, Ryley!

Best Bud of the Month: Jewel – Bud Tender

About your Best Bud:

Jewel is part of a younger generation, one that simply doesn’t understand the struggle that came from being a stoner twenty-something years ago, because way back then, Jewel was still in diapers instead of waiting in dark parking lots for pot like the rest of us. And as soon as she became of age and moved to Colorado, she walked into a brave new world where marijuana is legal, and oddly enough, the first job she landed was with us, right here in Durango’s best dispensary.

But she has a true love and sense of appreciation for the cannabis plant, despite never knowing the struggle, and her level of professionalism is far beyond her years. She stands behind our bud counter day after day selling weed with a comfort that might come from not knowing a time when this was illegal, and she does her best to research marijuana deeply so she can educate our customers right along with their purchases. Frankly, we love Jewel, but you don’t know her as well as we do, so here’s your chance to meet her:

About your Best Bud:

1.) When did you start working for The Greenery?

Jewel. I started on September 30th, 2019.

2.) What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?

Jewel. I like just about any form of cannabis, but I really enjoy rolling my own joints and dabs, too. Fun fact: my first lesson on rolling came from an old German woman in Dakotas. For dabs, I think half of the fun is hunting around for different strains and consistencies of wax.

3.) What’s your favorite outdoor activity?

Jewel. I’m on the lazy side so I love hikes and yoga.

4.) Tell us about your pet.

Jewel. I don’t have any myself, but I do adore my sister’s pets, a pit-bull as sweet as her name, Daisy, and two cats, Pearl and Spot.

5.) Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?

Jewel. It usually has something to do with the Revivalists, Unlike Pluto, or Panic! At The Disco.

6.) What do you like most about working at The Greenery?

Jewel. It’s pretty cool I can chat with my managers/coworkers about their experiences with cannabis and it’s just a regular workplace conversation.

Isn’t that exactly how it should be? There are still quite a few people out there who see cannabis as something salacious, when really, it’s just a plant that causes far fewer problems than other legal intoxicants such as alcohol, so shouldn’t all conversations about marijuana be “just a regular workplace conversation”?

And that’s another reason Jewel is a Rockstar, even though she might not know it: by being a young professional in the cannabis industry, she’s helping our culture to normalize this Coloradan experiment of legal, regulated weed. Jewel’s dedication to education and professionalism is helping us all turn a new leaf, pun intended, and for that, she’s Your Best Bud for January. Thank you, Jewel!

Best Bud of the Month: Lis McLaughlin – Manufacturing Facility Operations Manager (Hash Queen)

About your Best Bud:

Lis is the Best Bud you’ll never meet because she spends her days hunkered down in our Hash Factory. She’s the boss lady over there, meaning she manages every aspect of our Factory like a ninja, and she makes 100% of the concentrates we sell, so if you’ve ever smoked any of our Moroccan or Lebanese Hash, Lis got you high without ever meeting you. Isn’t that insane? And if you think about it, it goes even deeper because we wholesale our hashish to over 200 dispensaries across Colorado, so really, how many people has Lis gotten high? It’s mindboggling to crunch numbers like that, but it’s safe to say that Lis’ work has had an impact both right here in Durango, and across the state. So, since you’ll never get to meet Lis, here’s a little more about her so you can get to know December’s Best Bud of the Month:

Q. When did you start working for The Greenery?

Lis. August 14th, 2019. Yes, I do remember the exact date.

Q. What’s your favorite way to enjoy marijuana?

Lis.  While I enjoy a healthy amount of flower, edibles, and hash, my absolute favorite is thick, sticky Moroccan hash smoked out of a chillum (and I’m not just saying that because I make it). I prefer a strain conducive to creativity while surrounded by books with a notebook at my disposal and a pen in hand.

Q. What’s your favorite outdoor activity?

Lis. Anything in the mountains, be it on foot or on my bike.

Q. Tell us about your pet.

Lis. Wally is a derpy, 75lbs, three-year-old Olde English Bulldogge whom I rescued in May. He’s the Hash Factory’s resident “guard dog.” His favorite activities include, tug-o-war, gobbling snow, loving on his friends (i.e. the MIP employees), playing the lap dog with his dad, blessing everyone with his farts, and ferociously barking at anyone who knocks on any door anywhere near him. I also have a cat, Lil’ Weezy. He enjoys harassing things, cleaning himself, and playing fetch (but only when he’s run out of things to harass).

Q. Which station do you stream while you’re working at The Greenery?

Lis. Typically, I’m either jamming stoner rock, underground hip-hop, old school punk rock, or listening to a scientific presentation of some kind.

Q. What do you like most about working at The Greenery?

Lis. The Hash Factory is a great place to work for numerous reasons. Much of it is due to the cohesive, enjoyable work environment, which results from the efforts of our amazing team. My absolute favorite time spent at work, however, is in the cook room with my headphones on crafting quality hashish. I never knew I could make a career out of my love of science, artistic creation, and cannabis. The satisfaction I get from handmaking something that people appreciate is unparalleled.


See what I mean? She loves making hash just for you, and not just because that’s what we pay her to do. It’s a latent passion of hers that she discovered way back in the day when she first started here—at one point, she was the only employee over at our Hash Factory, and she started out as a Production Assistant. But in the year and a half that followed, Lis truly came into her own, and now she runs a five-person team that pumps out Colorado’s only authentic hash, which you can find across the state in THESE friendly dispensaries. She’s helped us make a name for ourselves as a purveyor of the highest-quality, solventless hash, and we wouldn’t be where we are today without her, nor would we be able to reach the heights for which we’re aiming.

So, Lis, thank you for everything you do. You’re an integral part of our company and family, you’ve made our success possible by focusing on quality and compliance, and you’ve earned your place here time and time again, which is why you’re January’s Best Bud of the Month!

How to Become a Budtender

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Out of all the questions I get standing behind our bud counter, “how do I become a budtender?” is one of the most common. I guess there’s just something mystic about my job, something romantic or salacious, that makes everyone want to jump on board (or maybe it’s my employee discount). Either way, I get it, because being a budtender is awesome. We get to slang ganja all day and talk about it nonstop with the people who want it. Seriously, if you’ve always loved marijuana, the legal cannabis market is the place to look for your dream job, but most people already know that because we meet a jobseeker almost every day. So, this week, I wanted to write about what it takes to become a budtender so you’d have a resource if you’re one of the many people who are looking to jump into something perfect.

However, this all comes with a disclaimer or two. For one, we’re not hiring or accepting resumes as I type this. Selling legal weed really is a dream job for many, and since we’re the best Durango dispensary, and the highest rated dispensary in the southwest, people usually swing by here first, and our roster is usually full. But that’s not to say we won’t be hiring soon because employees are always moving up or out, so keep checking in. And two, please take everything I say with a grain of salt; just because I’m telling you “how to be a budtender” doesn’t mean you can actually be one. I’ll explain…

Step one in becoming a budtender is to get your badge. It’s the license you’ve seen around the neck of every budtender you’ve met because it’s an absolute necessity, and not everyone qualifies for one because the state does a background check. I can’t say for sure what type of recorded offence leads to a “no,” and I know it’s difficult to get a badge with a felony on your record, but you’ll never know if you don’t try. And I’ll tell you from experience that it’s pointless to walk into a dispensary looking for a job without a badge because the guy who came in right before you already had his, and dispensaries won’t usually waste time on someone who may or may not get a license.

So, click HERE or google “MED occupational license application” to find all the paperwork you’ll need to submit to get your badge. After you print and fill out your paperwork, there will be a couple hoops to jump through before getting your license (like driving to the closest MED office for fingerprinting and whatnot), but you can learn about all of the hoops HERE.

Once your badge arrives, make a photocopy of it and then staple the copy to the back of your resume. Then all you need to do is blanket all the town’s dispensaries with copies of your badge and resume just like you’d do if you were looking for a regular job. And that’s the key: “regular job.” Most applicants assume that because we sell marijuana, we don’t have the high standards held by other employers, but that’s false. Our business is a business plain and simple, and when we’re hiring, we’re looking for professional businesspeople. Just because we sell things that get you high doesn’t mean you should be high when you come in looking for a job; just because pot is associated with lazy stoners doesn’t mean that’s who dispensaries are looking for when it comes to employees. So, dress professionally, act professionally, and for the love of everything holy, don’t come in with red eyes and a pipe tied around your neck (it’s happened).

Now, here comes the part you wouldn’t expect: nobody cares that you don’t have any cannabis industry experience. Frankly, it’s not like they teach this stuff in school (although you can read a list of colleges offering pot-related degrees HERE), and it’s not like all experience is good experience. Many shops are like our own Durango dispensary, and we prefer applicants to have no experience in the cannabis industry because most of the shops out there don’t do things correctly—it’s easier to teach new behaviors than to correct bad ones. That being said, retail experience is definitely a good thing, but I’d never touched a cash register before working here, so it’s still not necessary.

However, if you’re the anxious type who feels naked without a hint of cannabis experience on your resume, there are resources out there for you. For instance, there’s a state-regulated program called “METRC” that all dispensaries use to track legal cannabis. METRC is used in many states, so experience with it is a boon no matter where you’re looking to work. “METRC,” which we pronounce “metric,” stands for “Marijuana Enforcement Tracking Reporting Compliance,” and if I’m being honest, knowing this fact alone will give you an advantage because I’d bet a few of my coworkers don’t know the meaning behind the acronym. And there are plenty of METRC tutorial videos on YouTube that you can watch HERE if you’d like to add a touch of “experience” to your resume, but remember, it’s not necessary, and these videos are for reference only and shouldn’t be taken as gospel.

Other than that, there are plenty of “how to” books out there about being a budtender, but I’d steer clear of them if I were you. For one, most of those books are written by ex-budtenders who are looking to make a buck (and there’s usually a reason for the “ex” part), and for two, this industry is constantly changing. Our regulations are always evolving. There’s a huge chance that most of the book you might buy is centered on the regulatory dos and don’ts, and they change so often that most books are irrelevant about a month after publication.

Lastly, if you want to work in the marijuana industry, it’s pretty damn important to like marijuana; most of us are downright passionate about it. And you need to know a lot about pot if you want a leg up, which is easy—you’ve obviously found this blog, and if you go back through our archives, you’ll find more than 100 blogs just like this one that’ll teach you more about cannabis than any resource I can think of. That, and please feel free to come in and chat with us at our Durango dispensary on 208 Parker Avenue. Even though we’re not hiring presently, any of our budtenders can give you the inside scoop as to what it’s like to do this for a living, and we’ll teach you anything you’d like about cannabis for free if you’re looking for free knowledge. Other than that, if you’re looking to become a budtender, we wish you luck, because We’re Your Best Buds!

History of The Greenery

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A local man walked into our Durango dispensary about ten minutes before I started writing this. He was wearing his puffy coat even though it’s a bit early for down, he parked his Subaru right outside our front door, and he walked in with a comment about tourists, so I knew immediately he was a Durangan. But he also said that he had “no idea a dispensary was tucked back here in Bodo park” even though we’ve been here for years, which I hear frequently.

You see, The Greenery was the first recreational-only shop in town, and we’ve been the best Durango dispensary for almost five years, but for some reason, there are still people in this small city who don’t know we exist. How’s that even possible? Small towns are glorified knitting circles, and word travels quickly amongst our 19K residents, so how has our secret been kept? Don’t get me wrong, our regulars love the fact that we’re the best-kept secret in Durango because there’s always plenty of parking in our large dedicated lot (we even have room for RVs), and they never have to wait long before service, but I wish everyone knew about us because this shop is awesome (and I’m not saying that because I work here; I was a customer before I was an employee). So, we do our best to always be on the radio and out in the community sponsoring events to spread the word. We offer discounts to veterans and we have special deals for members of our Loyalty Program; we do everything we can to be an integral part of the Durango community and I think we’re succeeding.

However, there are still plenty of you Durangans out there (and a couple tourists) who don’t know anything about The Greenery, just like this morning’s man in a puffy coat. Frankly, that’s what we get for having the most discreet location in town. So, this week, I decided to write about our history so you could get to know us. Here it is…

The Greenery opened on April 10th, 2015, and we still have the first $20 we made hanging in the boss’s office. But to know our origin, you’ve got go back a bit further because it’s not like opening a pot shop takes a day: just like all good business origin stories, ours starts with two men sitting in a garage back in 2013, Joel Cameron and Brian Capsay. Joel was a world-class kayaker who’d recently graduated from Fort Lewis, and Brian was a hockey-playing fisherman that was on the US Fly Fishing team, who also called Fort Lewis his alma mater; our humble beginnings were straight-up Durango. And the two gentlemen made an awesome team because Joel was the hungry business type while Brian was the even-keeled type. Yin and yang came together. At the time, Joel was thinking about an MBA as his next step, but he decided to skip the education and to go the real-world route by becoming a cannabis entrepreneur. That, and he loved our town enough to never leave it for something like a piece of paper that’s forgotten after it’s framed and hung on a wall.

See what I mean? All the greats like Zuckerberg skipped the tail end of their graduate schools, and teams like Jobs and Wozniak started in a garage before achieving great heights, so our origin story is off to a good start.

Anyway, Joel and Brian knew they couldn’t do it alone, so Joel’s future wife (who is now his baby momma) came into the picture. She’s our house counsel now, but back in the day, she helped our owners navigate the mazy regulations that stand in the way of opening a recreational marijuana dispensary (because ours is the most heavily-regulated industry on earth). After the endless paperwork was signed and filed, our retail and cultivation licenses were approved, and we started slanging legal pot.

But that wasn’t good enough because Joel and Brian also wanted to grow the best weed in the southwest, so we opened The Greenery Grow, and we started cranking out the best pot period, just as planned. Granted, it took us some time to get it dialed, but we navigated the art and science of cultivation, and our pot is unparalleled as a result.

And then came our Hash Factory. Joel and Brian couldn’t find any decent solventless concentrates on the wholesale market, so once more, they took the pioneer route and opened their own factory to supply our store. That’s when I came along to spread the word across Colorado (and to start writing these blogs), and we’ve managed to get our hash into about 20% of all the shops in the state. The only thing left at that point was to start helping other likeminded business people across the nation open their own dispensaries, so The Greenery Cannabis Consulting firm was opened; we’ve guided teams in multiple states towards successful marijuana operations, and it feels incredible.

Really, it’s quite incredible to sit back and see the scope of our operations when you compare it to our timeline. Six years ago, two men were sitting in a garage—today, our Dispensary is the highest-rated in Durango, our grow is producing some of the best flower in Colorado, our Hash Factory supplies around 100 other dispensaries, and our consulting service is helping other marijuana businesses across the nation get into the game. Crazy, right? Either way, if you’re a local or a tourist in our beautiful town, and you’ve still never experienced what we have to offer, it’s high time (pun intended) you come to 208 Parker Avenue and check us out. We’re tucked away discreetly in Bodo park, we’re Durango’s best-kept secret, and We’re Your Best Buds!

Exercising with Marijuana

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Did you know that cannabis gyms exist? For real, THIS one is thriving in California and THIS one was doing alright here in Colorado before they were shutdown for breaking a few rules. And these places are exactly what you’d expect: normal-looking gyms where you’re allowed to consume cannabis and workout at the same time.

I know. At first, that seems like an odd proposition, but trust me, I do it, and it’s wonderful—just think about the people watching. When I’m high, those older ladies in their bright Jane Fonda spandex make me crack up; those steroid-fueled men who walk around like roosters make me shake my head slowly; those people who dance on treadmills instead of run make me think I’ve slipped into a different universe, and I love it. Actually, pot makes everything about the gym better because it’s easier to get into the “zone,” stretching feels much better, and for me, that post-lifting pain is dulled via the warm and fuzzy feeling weed lends to sore muscles.

Hell, even Men’s Health wrote about the wonders of working out high (you can read the article HERE), so the trend is picking up. But really, the reason most of these marijuana gyms opened is that their proprietors wanted to break the “lazy stoner” stereotype. These people wanted to come out loud and proud to prove that active people smoke pot too, and that in many cases, marijuana can make activity easier, not harder. So, just in case you wanted to try it for yourself, I’ve decided to use this week’s post to highlight my favorite pre and post workout cannabis products; let’s get started…

I always start by eating a few GO Beans from 1906, but my tolerance is embarrassingly high, so I’d recommend starting out with one. This is one of those newfangled edibles wherein the cannabinoids have been microencapsulated to make them water-soluble, which sounds fancy, but all you really need to know is that because of this, you start to feel the effect within 20 minutes instead of waiting an hour. Also, chocolate-covered coffee beans are obviously caffeinated, which is perfect for a pre-workout pick-me-up. That, and I prefer edibles over smokables before my workout because the last thing you want before some heavy breathing is a smoker’s cough.

Secondly, every good pick-me-up needs to be followed by a calm-me-down for recovery, so as soon as I put down the weights, I like a good one-to-one ratio vape pen. We sell plenty of these things in our Durango dispensary, and they deliver a perfect balance of THC and CBD, and the combination of the two cannabinoids can bring on that “I just got out of the hot tub” feeling without the malodorous smell of chlorine. The relaxation dispels cramping muscles, and the munchies make protein shakes taste better; it’s a win/win.

And then comes the couch (the best part about exercise is that it justifies laziness). This is when I turn to the real stuff; a deep indica strain like Kandy Kush or Wedding Cake. The body high banishes any residual discomfort, and I melt into my pillows knowing that my day is over. After that, you’re limited only by your imagination. We sell cannabis massage oil, infused salves, transdermal patches, and all sorts of infused topicals that can get the cannabinoids directly to where they’re needed most. It’s all good stuff.

So, if you’re an athlete and you’d like to throw some pot into the mix to see if it helps—or, if you’re a stoner and you’d like to throw some exercise into the mix—come see us at our Durango dispensary on 208 Parker Avenue and ask any one of our friendly budtenders about cannabis products that can get you up and going. We’re all about smashing lazy stereotypes and making workouts more fun, because We’re Your Best Buds!

How to Tell Your Children You Smoke Marijuana

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A daddy-promise is a sacred thing, something I’d never break, and I made one to my youngest daughter when I said I’d “never smoke another cigarette.” Of course, when I made that promise, I had to include a couple caveats: sometimes, I’d enjoy the occasional cigar, and of course, I’d keep smoking cannabis as much as I wanted.

That’s a strange conversation to have with a ten-years-old little girl, and it’s full of pitfalls because as a parent, you want to set the best example possible. And as the Sales Manager for a Hash Factory, it’s a conversation I’ve had more than once with my kids because it’s pretty obvious what daddy does for a living—I wear my Greenery hoodie almost every day, and I have to answer my phone in front of my kids whenever a client calls for a wholesale order of Moroccan Hash during the weekend. So, this week, it occurred to me that you might also be a parent who enjoys marijuana, but maybe you’re not sure how to start “the talk,” and you’d like a little advice. Well, here are my two cents…

If you have the talk with your kid, you do so for one of two reasons: either you decided to be proactive and talk to your kid about your marijuana consumption (good job!), or little Timmy walked into the garage and caught you smoking (oops). If the “oops” has already happened, there’s no way to go back unless you know how to build a time machine (if you do, hit me up), so let’s start with the latter scenario:

Timmy: “um… what’s that, mom?”

Mom: “Timmy, this is marijuana. It’s a plant that grows out of the ground, and sometimes, I like to smoke it.”

Timmy: “Why?”

Mom: “I find it to be relaxing, and it can be like medicine that helps me.”

Timmy: “Can I try?”

Mom: “No, marijuana is just for grownups.”

Timmy: “Why?”

Mom: “Because grownups have a brain that’s all done growing. If you try marijuana when you’re a kid, it might change the way you get big. I don’t want you to try any until you’re old enough, so you grow up just right.”

Timmy: “Why?”

This is when you should redirect (and if you’re a parent, that’s not something I need to tell you how to do) because reactive conversations like this need to be short and sweet so the moment Timmy caught you doesn’t end up to be a big deal in his memory. But it’s always best to be proactive and talk about pot before you get caught because parental trust is difficult to get back once you’ve lost it, and you’ll have to have the “long talk” sometime after getting caught anyway.

And there’s another reason you should sit Timmy down and talk about marijuana: it’s ubiquitous out in the real world, and Timmy needs to know what to do when he encounters cannabis. As an example, I’ve heard countless stories about some kid who broke into his parents’ stash and then went to school to hand out gummies. So, if you decide to be proactive and sit Timmy down for the talk, here’s the first step: come in and buy some gummies, and then show them to Timmy. The state of Colorado requires that every individual serving of a marijuana-infused edible be clearly marked with the universal THC symbol. If you show this marking to your child and tell him or her that it’s always on “dangerous grownup candy,” he or she will know what to avoid in the school cafeteria.

Now, let’s move on to the talk. Frankly, unlike the down and dirty reactive discussion that gets you out of trouble for being caught in the garage, talks like this should be long and in-depth so you cover all the bases and make Timmy comfortable with the pot-filled world in which he lives. So, I’m not going to pretend like I know how to parent your child by giving you a script, but rather, I’ll focus on a few dos and don’ts:

The biggest mistake is easy to make, which is comparing marijuana to alcohol. If you say something like, “well, Timmy, yes, I smoke pot, but pot is safer than alcohol, and daddy drinks beer every day,” Timmy will start to think that both of his parents do bad things. So, instead, talk about marijuana via its own merits. For one, it’s legal in the state of Colorado (obviously), so make sure to tell Timmy that mommy isn’t breaking any laws. Secondly, it’s natural. It’s just a plant that grows in the dirt, so it’s not full of the addicting and harmful chemicals that can be found in other drugs (yes, like alcohol, but remember not to bring that up). And third, it’s impossible to overdose and die from smoking pot, so let Timmy know that you’re safe.

Now, fair warning, you’re going to get a little pushback because the public-school system is still doling out that antiquated “just say no,” “all drugs are bad” type of education, but I’d recommend not countering it. Instead, tell you child that the schools are right—all drugs are in fact bad for children, but some of them, like mommy’s weed or daddy’s beer, are okay for parents so long as they don’t over do it, which is something grownups know not to do (hopefully). That way, Timmy will think that you’re on the same page as his teachers, and then the hallowed trust children put in adults will be maintained.

The rest is up to you, because as a parent, you know what’s best. But, if you’d like a few extra pointers, please come see us at 208 Parker Avenue and have a chat. Quite a few of us are working parents who’ve had these talks with our kids for one reason or another, and we’d love to tell you about it, because if you’re a parent who enjoys marijuana, We’re Your Best Buds, too!

A Book About Marijuana

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Have you ever read “To kill a Mocking Bird” by Harper Lee? It’s an American classic that won a Pulitzer in 1961, but it’s the only book ever written by Lee, which is a bit strange when you think about it. Honestly, if your first book ended up being one of the all-time best, wouldn’t you write something else? Or maybe it isn’t strange at all, because if you’re going to retire, maybe doing so at the pinnacle like Lee did would make you an instant legend. Know what I mean? If you’re gunna go out, go out on top.

But the real reason I started thinking about Harper Lee is that her one-and-only book was 100,000 words long, so she and I have something in common: this is the 100th blog I’ve written for The Greenery, and since they’ve all been around 1,000 words long, today marks the day wherein I’ve written 100,000 words about cannabis. That’s the same thing as writing a bona fide book about pot, but I’m pretty sure the Pulitzer people aren’t going to call me, and there’s no way I’m stopping now. Also, everybody knows that when you write 100K about pot, you get to write one post about anything you want, and it doesn’t need to make since. So, this week, I’m going to write about two completely unrelated topics: borosilicate glass, and xerostomia (I do what I want).

Let’s start with the glass. There are two types of glass people use to make pipes and bongs and whatnot: soda-lime glass and borosilicate. The soda-lime variety is the most common, and it accounts for about 90% of all the glass stuff out there, and I’m not just talking about pipes. This glass is made with SiO2 (soda) and calcium oxide (lime), and it’s used for everything from windows to beer bottles to pipes. If you’ve ever bought one of those multi-colored, handblown pipes, you’ve smoked out of soda-lime glass, but there’s a problem with that: soda-lime glass has a high CTE (coefficient of thermal expansion) which means that every time it’s heated up with your lighter and then cooled by the air after your hit, the stress causes little cracks to spiderweb through your pipe. That’s why those things never last. Eventually, you’ll drop your soda-lime pipe and it’ll shatter into a million pieces of smoke-session ruining glass. People always wonder why their pipes break so easily after using it for a while, but now you know.

The other type of glass is borosilicate which is made from a mixture of silica and boric oxide; this is the stuff glass blowers use to make scientific stuff like beakers and whatnot. And yes, it’s also the stuff your Pyrex cookware is made from, so I’m sure you know where I’m going with this. Borosilicate has a very low CTE, so it doesn’t matter how many times you heat it up. It won’t crack, and it’ll stay awesome for just about ever. And now, we’re selling both types of glass in our Durango dispensary, because we want you to have a choice.

Now, on to xerostomia (again, I don’t need smooth segues because this is my 100th blog). The first peer-reviewed study on the health risks associated with long-term marijuana was recently released (you can read it HERE), and it confirmed what I’ve believed for quite some time: cannabis doesn’t suck. Basically, super-smart doctors in New Zealand started their study on a group of people in the early seventies and tracked their health through thirty years of research while keeping an eye on the individuals who smoked pot regularly. And after three decades of study and comparison, those super-smart doctors were able to tie only one adverse heath condition to long-term cannabis use: gum disease. Do you know why? Smoking marijuana can give you a dry mouth (xerostomia), and a dry mouth can lead to gum disease.

Um… duh. I could’ve saved those super-smart doctors thirty years if they would’ve just asked me what smoking marijuana does, but they never called. Yes, pot can make your mouth dry, and if you keep it that way, your gums will suffer, but thank goodness, there’s a cure to the one proven adverse health effect that stems from cannabis use: drinking water. Boom. Problem solved. If you make sure to stay hydrated while you’re smoking, you can stay high and keep your healthy gums; it’s that simple. Or, if you’re one of the unlucky few who get xerostomia on steroids after getting high, you can throw some Biotene into the mix and give your gums a hydrating bath that even the stoniest pot can’t parch.

There. Blog 100 is in the books. But there’s something else you need to know. I’m the guy who handles our wholesale to other dispensaries, and as such, I’ve literally visited the websites for all the other dispensaries in this state, over five-hundred of them, and nobody else in Colorado has a blog like ours. Yes, other blogs exist, but new posts come up once every month or so (not every week like ours), and frankly, they’re all sales-heavy and information-light. Here, at The Greenery, the owners have made a substantial investment into our blog, and they do it for education and enlightenment, not for an extra buck. That’s something special, and we’re going to keep doing it instead of going out on top like Harper Lee, because We’re Your Best Buds!

The THC Classic

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I’m still getting used to the idea of marijuana business trips. The business trip part is simple enough because I did that for over a decade—I got used to the slacks and nice shirts, the hotels and continental breakfasts, the company bar tabs and small talk. And when you think about it, nothing should change if you throw marijuana into the mix because legalized marijuana has created a business that’s just as legitimate as all the others, but it’s still weird. Thus far, I’ve been on four business trips for our marijuana company, and I’m planning my fifth. I grab my business cards and my laptop and my nice shirts just like I used to, and I travel around selling commodities to business owners just like I used to. And it was all getting workaday just like it used to be, starting to feel normal, but during the last week of March, I went on a business trip that would remind me of just how odd this whole thing really is.

Long story short, we decided to enter a few products from our Greenery Hash Factory in The THC Classic that’s put on annually by Rooster Magazine. We’d never entered a competition like this one before because we thought going up against the big guys might be tilting at windmills; some of those companies operate chains of dispensaries and concentrate production facilities that’ve been open since the beginning. So, when we got the call that we’d need to show up to accept our awards, it seemed a bit surreal. But we shifted schedules here in the shop so the Hash Factory could go as a team, we grabbed our business cards and laptops, and we hit the road for Denver.

We checked into our hotel and grabbed a bite to eat. We called an Uber and headed down to the Temple Nightclub, where the award ceremony would be held. Our Uber driver was from Morocco, which we took to be a good sign because one of our contest entries was our Moroccan Hash, but we still didn’t know what to expect. When we showed up, the scene was exactly what you’d expect at a nightclub: there were red ropes and a line, there were irritable bouncers and flashing lights, and there were party girls dressed in grass skirts and coconut braziers who were obviously paid to be there. We waited in line, endured the pat-down, and then walked into a thumping nightclub that was packed with 1,000 people who worked in the cannabis industry. It was crazy.

Cheech Marin (from Cheech and Chong) was rumored to be somewhere in the crowd, but I never saw the guy, but two of my team members got a picture with Afroman who ended up playing a concert to close out the night. A little later, the award ceremony started, with speeches and applause exactly like you’d expect, and we ended up taking home two trophies, one for our Caviar, and one for our Lebanese Hash. Isn’t that insane? Not that long ago, we’d be locked up for making hash and distributing it across Colorado, but now, we get to walk onto a stage, shake hands with the guy holding a microphone, and then hold our trophies high as a crowd of 1,000 marijuana professionals cheer our accomplishment. It was one hell of a day.

To back up a bit, “caviar” is marijuana flower that has been coated in hash oil and kief, and Lebanese Hash is an old-school concentrate that’s made from pressed kief, just like the stuff that was smuggled into the States way-back-when. And I’m not just talking about this stuff because of the two new trophies that are sitting in our Durango dispensary; you can also buy our hash, and if you’re in Durango, you’ll need to come to us because we’re the only people in town selling it. Just be prepared to hear us call our hash “award-winning,” because we now have a couple trophies to prove that we really are Your Best Buds!


A Good Day with Cannabis

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Do you remember that “It Was a Good Day” song by Ice Cube? If not, it’s a classic, and you need to listen to it immediately, but if you do, I apologize for getting it stuck in your head. But the reason I ask is that recently, I read a news story wherein a bunch of rap nerds got together and figured out exactly which day Ice Cube was talking about: it was January 20th, 1992.

They used all the clues in the song to figure it out: there was “no smog,” Yo! MTV Raps was on TV, the Lakers beat the Super Sonics, and Ice Cube got a page on his beeper from Kim. If you figure out the song’s release date, look at the years when beepers were used, check the stats for Lakers wins, and the weather report for smog, you get the exact “good day.” Of course, back in 2012 when Ice Cube gave an interview about the song, he said it was a fictional day, but that’s not why I’m writing this: in his song, Ice Cube mentions the “chronic,” which is a prerequisite for any “good day.” That got me thinking about the perfect day with cannabis—a day you can plan and enjoy intentionally, because sometimes, good days need to be forced. So, if I were to plan the perfect day with cannabis, this is how I’d do it:

Step one, wake-and-bake. There’s nothing wrong with pot in the morning, and anyone who says otherwise hasn’t tried it. On lazy Sundays, I like to wake up with a good Bubble Gum joint, or something else sativa-dominant, and we sell them for $10 out-the-door here in our Durango dispensary. And then after I put out my joint to save for later (smoking an entire gram in the morning might cut the day a bit short), I’d mix a packet of Lucky Turtle 1:1 Honey into my coffee. These single serving packs of honey cost $9, and they deliver 10mg of THC and CBD. Granted, if you’d prefer fewer than 10mg in the morning (or if you don’t like overly-sweet coffee), just use half the packet. And timing is important: the high from your joint will last about an hour and a half, and it’ll take the honey about an hour and a half to kick in fully, so drink that coffee right after you put down the joint—for the perfect good day, a high must be maintained.

The next step would be to go out and see the world. I like having my wife drive me around to thrift shops and breakfast places while I marvel at the bright day, couched comfortably in my buzz (but if you stop for breakfast, remember, there’s nothing wrong with bacon even though Ice Cube’s good day started when mom cooked breakfast with “no hog”). Then we go home to do chores and watch daytime TV; this is when my vape pen comes into play. I like to keep a terpene-rich distillate pen in my pocket, something like the Craft Reserve from O.pen that’s on our menu, and I lean towards the hybrid side of things as the day creeps by. I’ll take a puff or two when normalcy starts to creep back in, and it’ll carry me through to lunch when I smash a BLT and then load a bowl. Just like with the vape pen, my midday bowl is always a perfect hybrid, something like Blue Dream, because that even balance between mental energy and physical relaxation pairs perfectly with noontime.

This is when I start watching something campy like “Ancient Aliens” (as it turns out, the History Channel would have you believe aliens are responsible for just about everything except pot). As the day gets older, I smoke and vape as needed, but if you’re a fan of baths, I’d recommend throwing some THC bath salt into the mix. We sell a rejuvenating bath salt that’s infused with eucalyptus and cannabis, it’ll soothe you until nighttime rolls around, because that’s when it’s time to kick things up a notch.

Next, for dark nights, I like dark hash, like a good Moroccan or an Indica-dominant bubble hash. And that’s pretty convenient given that we operate our own Hash Factory, and we’re the only company in Colorado that manufactures and distributes classic concentrates such as Moroccan or Lebanese hash. So, to start my perfect evening to cap off that good day, I’d throw a pinch of Moroccan on top of a deep Indica like Pakistani Chitral Kush, smoke it, and then wait for the mind-numbing, body sedating high to knock me down into the couch (these days, it’s the only way to make the nightly news bearable). And then right before bed, I’d eat a brownie from Love’s Oven. They’re made with canna-butter which is difficult to find these days, they totally count as a desert, and the relaxing high would keep me sleeping through the night. Boom; the perfect end to a good day with cannabis (and there’s no law saying you can’t have two days like this in a row, so wake up and repeat as necessary).

But this good day isn’t possible without cannabis, so come see us first. We’re located at 208 Parker Avenue right here in Durango, and we’re open every day (for hours, click HERE). Just make sure to bring your valid, government-issued I.D. proving that you’re 21 or older, because good days with cannabis are for grownups only. And remember, We’re Your Best Buds!